Today’s Topic:  State of the Atlanta Braves (or how they continue to dig a hole at the beginning of the season and other various reflections on the Braves’ season thus far by Braves BG)

Mood Music:  Rope by Foo Fighters        

           We are twenty games into the season (about 1/8 the way through) and the Braves stand at a measly 8-12.  To put things in perspective, they are currently fourth in the division, ahead of only the Mets.  It’s early; good teams are still trying to figure things out (see the Boston Red Sox).  It’s just a little bit tiring to see them constantly dig themselves into a hole where for the next 140 games they are going to scratch and claw to try to get even with the Phillies, whom are already five games ahead.

            As I’m sure we can all agree the struggles have been on the offensive side of the ball.  It’s the same scenario as last year.  The Braves blew good start after good start from their pitching staff by putting up 2 runs or less of offense.  They will get hot at some point and go on a scoring explosion, but it will soon be forgotten when the offensive woes return.  The offense is more explosive, and top to bottom, more dynamic than anything they put on the field last year.  It’s time to put all of the excuses behind and start producing some runs.

            Some things to put in perspective here (these are all in relation to the NL, 16 teams):  1) The Braves have scored the fourth least runs through 20 games.  2)  The Braves have the fourth most Home Runs.  3)  The Braves have the third worst batting average (.230)  4)  The Braves have the fourth best team ERA (ahead of Philadelphia).  5)  The Braves have the second best bullpen ERA.

            Now the point isn’t to throw a bunch of skewed facts out there to make you believe what I’m saying.  It’s more to show you that they aren’t terrible.  Sure the offense isn’t good, but the pitching has been as expected.  They have done enough not to be fourth in their division.  So what is the problem?

             I’m sure there are a litter of fingers to be pointed:  Uggla isn’t hitting, Hanson can’t pitch, Fredi can’t manage, Larry Parrish (new hitting coach) isn’t worth a lick, Glen Hubbard shouldn’t have been fired, etc.  Whatever the reason or whomever we want to blame, we have to step back and remind ourselves, it’s still early.  The season is young, the Braves are slow starters and eventually they will start putting together some wins.  It’s too early to start worrying about Philly and how many games they win and are up.  They will slump.  It’s inevitable.  Their offense without Utley and Werth will struggle at some point.  Unlike the Braves, they are hitting above expectations.

            At the beginning of the year, if I would have told you Chipper would be healthy, McLouth would hit .75 points higher than he did last year and Freddie Freeman wouldn’t be the weak link in the lineup, you probably would have thought the Braves would be undefeated.  Throw in the fact that Kimbrell was 4 for 4 on saves (until a few days ago) and we all would be feeling pretty good about the squad.  I’m saying don’t lose hope here Braves fans.

            I hate trying to liken the Braves situation to the Red Sox, but I can’t help but draw some comparisons.  By all accounts, the Red Sox were the preseason favorite to finish first in AL East and win the World Series.  They had too much talent, a good bullpen and above average starters.  This same world beater team is currently tied for last place in the American League.  I don’t for a second believe that is where they will finish.  Maybe on a smaller scale (as I don’t think the Braves are as talented), but the Braves have too much talent and too solid of a pitching staff to sustain continual losses.  The hitting has not been great, but it’s been sporadic.  They can’t seem to piece together any type of consistent hitting.  I think once we start getting some consecutive hitting out of the lineup, you will see more runs scored and ultimately more wins.

            Things I’ve liked seeing so far: 

            I like the lineup.  I like the lefty, righty lineup that has been put together.  I like that we’ve seen some decent power from the entire lineup (1 through 8).  Where this has faltered some is that the home runs have been all solo shots because no has gotten on base ahead of the power guys.  I like the Venters/Kimbrell combination at the end of the game.  I think Venters might be one of the best setup men I’ve seen in the NL this year.  And I’ve been surprised by the power of Kimbrell.  He has two pitches and he is going to throw them at you.  I know he blew a save the other day, but before the season started I accepted the fact that he would blow a few saves over the course of the year.  He is a 22 year old closer for the first time.  It will take some time before he is as dominant as Wagner or Rivera (who blew a save a few nights ago as well). 

            As for the other rookie, Freddie Freeman started off slow, but has slowly come into his own.  He’s still only batting .250, but he has hit safely in 11 of his last 12 games.  He is starting to show some confidence at the plate.  I think he has put some of the fears aside that he will not be a disappointment this year.  I don’t think, however, we will see him have Heyward like numbers from last year, but I don’t think anyone is expecting that.  As for the manager,  I like Fredi.  I like his ability to keep some of the Bobby Cox mentality.  Whether some of you want to say it’s to a fault, I understand.  I think it’s just a huge part of who the Braves are.  I’m willing to give Fredi Gonzalez some time before I start getting overly critical of his managing skills.  Despite his familiarity with the Braves, he is still trying to figure out how he wants to manage the lineup.  This may take some time as we are all seeing.  I have faith that he will figure it out. 

            I’ll save all of the negatives for the next post if the Braves continue on this slide and all of the sunshine pumping I just did was a waste.  I hope it doesn’t get to that point.

I’d like to hear your thoughts on the season so far, and Bish please share some stories from your time with the “Thanks Bobby” crowd this year — BRAVES BG

Thanks to Braves BG for the post…..hopefully I’ll have something for you all soon…it’s only been about a half year.

I’ll talk at you all again later.

“i’m pulling for you now”

Today’s Topic:  Screw Florida and screw the NCAA

Mood Music:  The Sidewinder Sleeps Tonite by R.E.M.


Folks……those of you that are squeamish when it comes to foul language might want to check back in later for the next post……cause I’m about to drop some stuff in this rant that isn’t for the feint of heart…..not in the least……

For starters I would like to say SCREW FLORIDA and all of the EFFING GATOR fans across this country.  I guess I would consider it guilty by association, but either way, I can’t stand your effing football team or your effing douchebag of a coach.  Period.  Sour Grapes, I know….tough shit……I cannot effing stand you.  Everything about your effing University annoys the shit out of me…deal with it.

Whoa, where did that come from….you may ask…’s easy.  Florida has beaten UGA 18 of the last 21 times they’ve played, and quite honestly, I’m sick of it.  You see, I have no problem losing to Florida when Tim Tebow is winning the Heisman (actually, UGA won that year, shockingly)….ok….I don’t mind losing to UF…ok, who am I fooling….I ALWAYS mind….it just stings more this year because Georgia is a better team than Florida……and other circumstances that I’m about to delve into…..again, if it hasn’t run you off yet, I’m warning you that the language and topic ahead is not for the morally sound (yes that means feel free to continue reading Urban, if you’re out there…of course, I’m sure you are spending time with your family, not reading blogs…since they are the most important thing in your life).

Folks….and yes that includes all of you Florida fans as well…..I have a SERIOUS, SERIOUS problem with a Coach…….a Man…..who allows a player back on the team who verbally threatened to kill his girlfriend (I believe his exact words were, “Time to die Bitch”….nice) and was subsequently arrested for the 3rd degree FELONY… see that word FELONY…..of stalking.  In fact, this goes beyond even Urban Meyer’s ridiculous penchant for the absurd…..I have a SERIOUS PROBLEM with the NCAA and their bogus attempt at looking out for the welfare of student athletes.  BULLSHIT.  BULLSHIT.  BULLSHIT.  I know, we all know, that all the NCAA cares about is money….but you mean to tell me that a player (AJ Green) at UGA gets a 4 game suspension for selling a jersey (his jersey, mind you) for $1,000….even though he repaid all of the money he received from the sale…..and a guy that committed a 3rd degree felony….gets a mere 5 game suspension (based on the school’s punishment)…..the NCAA had nothing to do with the punishment…..what the hell is wrong with this picture?

You see, a lot of UGA’s problem in the Florida series is mental.  They come out tight every year, unable to perform up to their potential…’s in their heads and I don’t care how much you say that the coaches are responsible, the weight of a streak such as this goes far beyond just coaching, fans, etc…’s in the heads of every player, coach, and fan that either steps on that field or watches the game.  What, you may ask, does this have anything to do with anything?  I’ll tell you…..

The last time UGA won, was 2007……and unfortunately, for UGA fans, the only thing that game is really remembered for, is the 1st Quarter endzone celebration….that UGA was penalized for….and then punished, and penalized, and punished, and penalized by SEC referees for the next 2 plus damn years.  The ire of conference officiating crews has been directed towards UGA ever since that damn game.  So, what’s the point?  The point is….Mark Richt was crucified after his decision in that game to allow the players to celebrate….he’s been crucified this season as a number of Georgia players have been arrested or gotten into trouble in the offseason (despite kicking numerous players off the team for their indiscretions)…..people have commented that he’s “lost control of his team”…..they said allowing the endzone celebration was “embarassing”………and realistically, the only thing I can think to say in response to all of this is…….ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?  My God.  All of you idiots out there that are still trying to figure it out….here’s a hint…..Mark Richt was trying to find SOME way to loosen his team up in 2007….and he came up with the idea of the endzone celebration…it worked…….and you mean to tell me….that a coach emphasizes a play like that….to get his team fired up….and he’s punished for over 2 years…..yet Urban Meyer elects to reinstate Chris Rainey….a charged fucking felon….after only 5 games……and it’s already being forgotten.  And let me stop all of you dumbass Florida fans before you even start……

1) no….I don’t care that the charges were pled down to a misdemeanor…..cause, let’s face it…..I’m fairly certain someone had to do a little sweet talking to get her to plea down those charges…..and even if that’s her decision….the guy was still arrested and CHARGED with a damn felony….Period.

2) yes, Rainey’s play effected the outcome of the game……he touched the ball 9 plus times in the 1st Quarter alone.  He scored the 1st TD of the game, and finished with 241 all-purpose yards….so save it on the (UGA would have lost anyway….no….no they wouldn’t have)….Rainey is by far the best offensive weapon Florida has….Meyer knows it….and that’s why he sold his soul to get him back on the team (and yes….I am fairly certain…if there’s a hell….Urban Meyer will occupy it one day)

3) Saying that he’s served his punishment, he’s done what’s been asked of him by his teammates, his coaches, and the University… not enough……you mean to tell me that 5 weeks (if he even went once a week) of anger management (if he even had anger management) is enough to rehabilitate a guy that literally threatened the life of his girlfriend….while physically waiting outside her apartment…..if you believe that….then you too are effin’ crazy. 

4) if you believe for a millisecond that Urban Meyer did it because he actually wanted to give Chris Rainey a 2nd chance as a human being….then you are also insane…..Urban Meyer wanted to win the damn UGA game and potentially the SEC East….period…..folks….Urban Meyer ain’t in it for the philanthropy….hell, last year he said he was retiring because of his health….and he wanted to spend time with his family….and then he changed his mind after a good day of practice….what a prick.

So all of that to get to this…..someone needs to hold the NCAA accountable…..NOW…..I’m sicking of watching teams like Florida, Alabama, Southern Cal…get by, despite numerous accounts of NCAA violations and team misconduct……..while a school like UGA gets the hammer dropped on them because a guy sold a damn jersey……listen I know money is the bottom line for the NCAA….but if that’s the case….stop pretending you have the players’….or students’ best interest at heart…..if you really did…..then there would be a damn rule in place that said something along the lines of….. if a student athlete is arrested and charged with a FELONY….they are immediately removed from the athletic program in which they are enrolled….period….end of story….no 2nd chances……

If you truly want to help kids….then they need to learn that there are certain things that you just don’t do….period…..and coaches like Urban Meyer (who can sleep at night without problems….I’m sure…because let’s face it…if he comes across as that big of a prick on TV….how would you like to live with that guy…Holy Shit)…need to take it on the chin for enabling these actions…..

So to sum all of this up….Florida sucks, Urban Meyer sucks, the NCAA realllly sucks, and I’ve got to wait another damn year to see if Georgia can actually get the damn Gator monkey off their back.  That sucks.

I’ll talk at you all again later.

“but this machine can only swallow money”

Today’s Topic:  Win Today, Celebrate Later

Mood Music:  Fearless by Pink Floyd

So it comes to this…..

In a season where the Braves lead baseball in come-from-behind wins…’s only fitting that their postseason hopes come down to 1 game, on the last day of the season, against their division rivals. 

and oh yeah….it’s Bobby Cox’s last regular season game as the Braves manager. 


Folks……yesterday was for celebrating the career of one of the greatest managers of all time.  And it was a grand sendoff……but folks, that ain’t the way Bobby Cox deserves to go out…..and today….it’s time for the players to give him a deserved going away present.

Cox deserves that, doesn’t he? 

Bobby Cox will go down as a Hall of Fame manager, the most ejected manager of all time, and probably the greatest regular season manager of all time.  The one knock against him (which is exasperating considering he led the Braves to 14 straight division titles, which, in my opinion, will never be duplicated in any sport) is that he only won 1 Championship.

Again, Wow.

Folks, I cannot stress enough how fitting it would be for these “come-from-behind” Braves to win today and enter the postseason for the first time (if the Padres were to lose, of course) as the NL Wildcard team.

Why would that be fitting?  It’s easy. 

The Wildcard structure (implemented before the 1994 season) was started to give 2 more teams in the NL and AL a chance to make the playoffs.  Each League was split into 3 divisions from 2, which created 1 more division champ slot, and then the team with the best overall record, that didn’t win the division, would get the wildcard spot.  Sounds good.  More teams in the postseason, better ratings, fans have more of a reason to watch later in the year, etc……for the Braves, the wildcard has been more annoying than beneficial.  They’ve watched the Marlins win the World Series in 1997 and 2003 after finishing a mere 9 plus games back of them during the regular season in the division.  The Mets lost the “Subway Series” to the Yanks in 2000, but thanks to the wildcard, they made the playoffs that year despite losing the division to Atlanta.  The Braves lost to the Giants and Astros who made it into the playoffs from the wildcard slot, and let’s not even get into the ridiculous matchups (Prior and Wood in their only healthy season with the Cubs) the Braves have been forced to play (in a 5 game series) because the wildcard team came from their division.

So, all that, for this……it’s the Braves’ turn.  It’s Bobby Cox’ turn.  Listen, I know that these Braves have overachieved.  I know that they are hobbling into this last game, barely able to patch together a lineup (due to season ending injuries to Chipper, Medlen and Martin Prado) and the inability for the outfield platoon of Diaz, McLouth, Melky Cabrera, and Ankiel to due anything offensively, and the inability of “Mr. Clutch” Brooks Conrad to play defense……buuuuuuuuuuuuttttttttt…..

Everyone loves an underdog….and well….here you go. 

These players owe their manager one last trip to the postseason…period.  I don’t care if half the damn team is taken off the field on stretchers…..these guys BETTER leave it all on the field today.  Period.  The Braves can’t control the shocking inability of the NL West to help them out (the Giants actually have the division title on the line at home, and have shit the bed for the first 2 games)….but they can do everything they can to hit the effin’ ball today and take fate into their own hands…..

There will be time to celebrate the career of Bobby Cox later (hopefully….a few weeks from now, after a World Series victory from the most unlikely World Series team)…but today, as Tim Hudson takes the mound, and thousands of fans show up in support of this team and this incredible manager (who will undoubtedbly be ejected at some point today….I mean, come one…it’s only fitting), let’s focus on celebrating a tremendous season…..with 1 more win…..a much deserved win, for a players’ manager that’s given his all for far too long…..and deserves something in return from his players…..even if it’s just for today.

I’ll talk at you all again later.


“I’ll climb, that hill in my own way”

Today’s Topic:  The man, the myth, the legend:  NATE MCLOUTH

Mood Music:  Walk On by Neil Young

For those of you that don’t know (yet)…….the starting centerfielder for the Atlanta Braves is NATE MCLOUTH.  That’s right, I said it…and no, he’s not a Pirate, he actually plays in Atlanta now…..and has since last season.  I know, that can’t be the guy that’s hitting .179 as of June 1st…..yes….that’s Nate…….but before you start compiling your stats, photos, reasons (potentially convincing nonetheless) for benching Nate for someone else… Kawakami or any of the other Atlanta pitchers with higher batting avgs this season…..I need to open your eyes to the altruistic nature of the guy that some call “Mighty Mouse McLouth” aka “Nate the Great”.

For starters:

– In high school, Nate successfully stole 179 out of 180 bases……the 1 that he didn’t steal…..he actually allowed himself to be tagged out because it was the opposing catcher’s birthday and he hadn’t thrown out a single runner all season (Nate also had to leave the game early that day to compete in the Michigan state spelling bee….which he proceeded to win……the winning word…..altruistic…..fitting……Nate gave his trophy to that catcher).

– Every year at Thanksgiving…..Nate kills a turkey, cooks it, carves it, and serves it to his family……he then does the dishes

– Nate once pitched a perfect game, from centerfield

– He only walks to raise awareness for various foundation research, including leukemia (he occasionally breaks this trend by striking out 3 times a game to remind people of the dangers and misinformation regarding the racial divide that still exists in this country)

– Nate’s the only player to steal first base (and he did it twice in 1 game)

– Nate gives up hits for lent

– He’s a notary public

– Nate gave up his number, 13, to Billy Wagner earlier this season

– He occasionally grows a mullet, simply to donate the hair to “locks for love”

– Nate received the 2008 Roberto Clemente award for the “Pirates plater who best exemplifies the standard of excellence achieved by Clemente”

– Nate hit a walkoff home run earlier this season and prior to the hit…..asked his teammates to abstain from celebrating said hit if it were to occur….out of respect for the opposing team (they all proceeded to leave the dugout once Nate hit the homer)


Nate McLouth (Chuck Norris’ “altruistic”-ego)…..Honorable All-Star



I’ll talk at you all again later.

Today’s Topic:  Win one for Cox….or…come one Braves, do it one more time

Mood Music:  Golden Age by TV on the Radio

Folks, I’m a Braves fan.  Hard to believe, I know.  and folks, it’s so very hard to explain what that means, because the Braves, in my lifetime have been like 2 warring siblings that are so different, it’s almost impossible to believe they are related.  That’s the Braves (in the 80s) and the Braves (in the 90s)….and amazingly we’ve just been through another decade (which is stunning honestly) that displayed both the best (early 00s) and the worst (mid to late 00s).  At the head of a lot of those ups (mainly the ups) and downs, was Bobby Cox…..and folks, he’s retiring after this season……and as the actor who was US president for most of the 80s uttered in the 1940 film, “Knute Rockne:  All-American”…’s time for the Braves to “Win one for the Gipper”.

I know, I know…..sappy at best…..and for those of you that know me, I have had plenty of criticism for baseball’s all-time most ejected manager, but no one can argue that Bobby Cox helped usher in the “Golden Age” of Braves’ baseball….and a run that we will most likely never see again (from any team, in any sport, not just the Braves).  But when you hear about the legacy of Bobby Cox’s Braves…’s one of mixed emotions.  His run has been compared to that of the Buffalo Bills, overlooked by the run of the 90’s Yankees teams (led by former Brave player and manager Joe Torre, which was annoying in itself), screwed by the addition of the “wild card”, and a minor asterisk attached to a comment about the streak of 14 straight division titles.  Folks….come with me for a second while I talk a little shit about these so-called sports authorities:

The Buffalo Bills…..and I repeat myself…..the Buffalo Bills?  Someone please explain to me how the Braves (who won a Championship in 1995) can even remotely be compared to a team that really shouldn’t have even been on the field in 3 of the 4 Super Bowls over their consecutive streak (losing 37-24, 52-17, and 30-13 in those 3 games….god).  The fact is:  (and all of you NFL over MLB fans will disagree…but, you know what I say…..blow it out your ass(es)……it is a “HELLUVA” lot harder to even get the opportunity to play in a World Series, much less win, than make it and possibly win a Super Bowl.  Period.  You can argue if you’d like, but having to win 1, 5 game series, and 2, 7 game series, is astronomically harder than winning 3 or 4 football games.  Seriously, I mean the Panthers with Jake Delhomme at the helm even made a Super Bowl.  Just had to say it didn’t I (and for another day, that guy really cried a lot at his exit press conference didn’t he?  Jeez). 

The Yankees of the 90s…..well, I don’t like to talk about those guys….because I genuinely loathe everything Yankee, but let’s just say that Steinbrenner’s “non-stop spending” finally “paid” off in the 90’s….unfortunately it was at the “expense” of the Braves. 

I’m going on a tangent here for a second so bare with me……how can you, realistically, view baseball historically (as far as the champions, greatest teams, etc….) when it has been so skewed because of the teams like New York that can literally buy a championship?  I mean, don’t get me wrong, I know the Braves’ payroll isn’t the lowest in baseball by any means, but I believe that you can directly relate the Yankee’s run to the fact that they spent the most money. 

  (for those that are wondering….these are the “Mermaids….Florida Marlins cheerleaders you could say….so why the pic?  Cause they were more deserving of a playoff spot in 97′ and 03′ than the baseball team)

The Wild Card.  What can I say about this travesty.  I know, most people love the “wild card” team in baseball.  What a great idea.  It gives more teams the chance to make the playoffs.  Yeah, it does.  Undeservedly.  Let me give you a little insight into what the “wild card” has cost the Braves over the course of their divisional run….shall I?

From the “Wild Card”s inception in 1995, it directly affected the Braves post season hopes consistenly from 97′ to 05′.

97′ – the Marlins… the Braves’ division…..won the World Series….never would’ve happened if the Wild Card didn’t exist…..the Braves finished 9 games ahead of the Marlins in the regular season….9…..and lost the NLCS to the Marlins, 4 to 2……which is utter bullshit

00′ – the Subway Series….blow it out your ass…..again, the Mets win the Wild Card, forcing the Braves to play the Cardinals in the divisional series….and I remember looking out the window during Game 1 of that NLDS and seeing a cardinal land on the patio at Ellen’s apartment…..I knew the Braves were screwed

02′ – Braves lost to the Giants, yep, the Wild Card team

03′- gem of a year here, the aforementioned Marlins do it again (this time after finishing a mere 10 games behind the Braves in the regular season) and on top of that forced the Braves to play the Cubs (during the one year they actually had Wood and Prior healthy) in a 5 game series…..when was the last time the Cubs won a playoff series?  Yowsa.

04′ – Braves lost to the Astros, yep, the Wild Card team, and a team that finished 13 games behind the Cardinals in the regular season

05′ – Braves lost again to the Astros, and yes, they were the Wild Card team

Sorry for the detour…but I just had to get that off my chest…’s always annoyed me….Major League Baseball has always (well, until the effin’ wild card) been predicated on the importance of the regular season.  That’s why, originally, there were 3 series, an NLCS, ALCS, and World Series.  The 4 best teams….by record…..battled it out.  If there’s a wild card, why not shorten the damn season?  Is there really a need to play 162 games, win your division by 13 over the next best team, only to turn around and lose the 1st playoff series to said team in less than 2 weeks.  It’s ridiculous.  The Braves and Marlins of the 97′ and 03′ seasons are prime examples of why the Wild Card sucks.

Where was I?…..whoooo…..oh yeah, this season….Bobby Cox….and the resurgent Braves……it’s going to be fun folks……Heyward slamming the ball (might have the fastest bat I’ve ever seen….and he’s 20)….Hanson, Jurrjens, and Hudson lighting it up on the mound, McCann hopefully continuing his streak of All-Star seasons at catcher….plenty to be excited about…..but I tend to view this season like this (and I’ll stop after this, I promise):

It’s like a Grand farewell tour for the Braves this season.  Cox’s last season….well, we’d all like to see him go out on a winning note….with a middle finger to all the critics and a “blow it out your ass” to the Phillies.  Billy Wagner, who’s potentially closing in on the end of his career….can he give us one last surge and lead the NL in saves?  If last night was any indication, he’s on the right track….I like Wagner…I just do, Troy Glaus…..this guy’s seemingly been around forever….and had some injury issues…..can he swing that tree trunk for one more great season and smash 30 plus homers one more time?……and finally, Chipper Jones, he says he’d retire if he has another season like last year…’s hoping that doesn’t happen….for many, many years……

so how will it play out?  If I had my choice (although not sure who I’d be willing to concede the division to)…..I’d have to say it would be nice to see the Braves make the playoffs as the Wild Card…..beat the division winner (the Marlins, I guess, if fate would allow)….and play the Yankees 1 more time in the World Series……and give all of us a chance to hold up our middle fingers (aimed directly in the direction of Jeter/Rivera/Teixiera/Steinbrenner (just take your pick) and utter…..blow it out your ass Yankees….as Bobby Cox makes a victory lap……’s hoping!

I’ll talk at you all again later.

“up your happy ending understanding”

Today’s Topic:  Lost Discussion…..the Package

Mood Music:  Jigsaw Falling into Place by Radiohead

and it begins……this final season of Lost has had it’s share of ups and downs, but after last night’s episode….”the Package”…..I am officially more than just “on board” for what appears to be one helluva ride during these last 8 episodes.

It is all finally coming together…well, sorta….but as we slowly watch each piece of this “million plus” piece puzzle slowly drop into place…..I can’t help but feel a sense of nostalgia washing over me as we inch ever closer to the last episode of “the greatest TV show of all-time”…..yes, I said it, so deal with it.

I was nervous at the beginning of this season.  There’s so much pressure on the creators/producers/writers/etc…of this show to make it perfect.  I mean, they’ve been given a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to end their show on their terms….which is awesome…until you consider the ramifications of it ending poorly (that just means that they made a conscious decision to end the show after Season 6, and it didn’t give them enough time…..because I find it hard to believe that the guys that created Seasons 1 to 5 of such an unbelievably phenomenal show would just shit the bed on the ending)….so the next question would be….why’d you end it so quickly if you needed more time?  and I pondered that over the first 5 or so episodes in Season 6.  I was even questioning it a little bit after the (possibly) Top 5 all-time Lost episode, last week, Ab Aeterno.  Folks, I play the devil’s advocate waaaaay too often when it comes to things that I love……it’s hard to sit back and just enjoy something without hoping for perfection (in the back of my mind)…so when a show comes along like Lost…..that has truly remained the only beacon of anything resembling perfection on TV today….I am critical when I feel like it might be going the wrong way.  My friends tell me to be patient….that Damon Lindelof and Carlton Cuse haven’t let us down in 5 Seasons (unless you count that minor rough patch during Season 3…but we’re not gonna go there today)…so trust that they know what they are doing….and it will be great.  Well, I had a hard time listening to and trusting those friends……until this week’s episode, “the Package”…….let’s delve in….shall we:

The Package finally left me with the gut feeling that all is right in the Lost world.  I watched it fuzzed up on Tuesday (late BDay celebration….Happy Birthdays to me, Brooke, Jenks, and soon Margo….thanks for the buzz…damn bowling alley beer) and then again early Wednesday morning when I couldn’t sleep….this time sober….and something just clicked.

Maybe it was the way everything seems to be eerily tying together between the “sideways world” and the “island world”…, Mikhail showing up with 2 eyes (and eventually losing his eye to a gunshot by Jin), or Sayid helping Jin to escape his “chains” by giving him a knife or Zoe breaking out a map of the island (in Room 23 on Hydra Island no less…damn that’s just a cruel ass room) that is signed by Jin (which means what exactly????) orrrrr….maybe it’s the minor mirror glances that have happened with each character like they can almost sense their alternate reality self somehow…but just not quite…….or

Maybe it was the way Jack has completely turned into a man that can sense his destiny.  I’m calling it now…..Jack is going to help Sun and Jin get on that plane….along with Sawyer, Kate, Miles, Hurley, Lapidus, and maybe some more folks…..but Jack is going to stay behind….because although he hasn’t said it….I think deep down he’s beginning to realize that it might be his destiny to actually replace Jacob as the island’s protector…..which brings us to another fascinating plotline……the “so-called” war…

We’ve known a war was coming….but how effin’ incredible was the scene between MIB as Locke and Widmore?  MIB quotes Widmore by saying that a war is coming and then basically tells Widmore to buckle up because it’s “here”……and what makes the scene even cooler was that they were standing on either side of the “temporary” sonic fence…just glaring at each other.  Widmore says that he only knew the MIB as whispers, mystery, and noises in the jungle.  Sweet…..maybe thats’s all the crap we’ve heard over the years in the jungle….but why does the sonic fence work against the MIB….and why, like Sawyer asked can’t he just turn into smoke and pop over on the Hydra island?….Locke as MIB is still one mysteriously interesting character.

I loved how Sun wouldn’t take his hand when he offered to take her to Jin, yet when Jack offered later..she took his hand…..completely trusting him (which, let’s admit….had to make Jack feel pretty good.)

SO this war….it looks like Jack is wanting to gather those that are willing, get them on the Ajira plane and get them home (and like I said earlier, I don’t think he’s planning on riding)…..MIB is planning on battling Widmore to the death so that he can get his group of folks (the Oceanic 6) off the island (and he, unlike Jack, wants off….period)….Widmore is planning on eradicating the MIB…so that he can pursue scientific exploration on the island again (of course it’s for his own selfish, greedy purpose I’m sure)

You all still with me?

SO that brings us to Desmond.  Good old Mr. Hume.  Wow.  I think a lot of us saw it coming, but how frackin’ great was the scene in which he’s starting to come around as his head lies on the dock and Sayid (a little recon) is in the water.  I’m pretty sure Desmond was starting to recognize Sayid but Sayid just really doesn’t give a shit….because obviously, being claimed or whatever by smokey….leaves you unable to feel anything….fear, pain, etc…

but what role does Desmond play?  Remember that Desmond was in a monastery when he was younger….there was a picture of the priest and Eloise Hawking on the priest’s desk……Penny Widmore just happened to show up to buy some wine….at the exact same time Desmond was leaving the Monastery due to it (not really being his thing)…..I might be going out on a limb, but I’ve got a hunch that Widmore has been pulling Desmond’s strings all along to get him to the island….for his own selfish reasons….because not only is Desmond Hume “the package”…..he’s also some kind of “key” to the lifespan of the island…..almost like he’s the failsafe key…..and just when you think the island is doomed….he’s back to start pressing some more buttons….because, like Widmore said, “the island wasn’t done with him yet”….yowsa.

Let me know what you all thought….

I’ll talk at you all again later.

Today’s Topic:  Til’ Death or at least 10 plus lovers do us part….or not….Happy Almost Valentine’s Day Ladies!!!

Mood Music:  Arrested by You by Rupert Hines

I saw a ticker on the bottom of ESPN at some point last week that said Tiger Woods was checking out of rehab…(ok, figured that would happen eventually, hopefully it helped him)….and the next thing to scroll across the screen as I was digesting the first part of that juicy ticking nugget of celebrity gossip was…..that Elin was seen leaving with him and that they……wait for it……no, please tell me she’s not…..there’s just no way….not after 10 (maybe more) women…..they were going to work on saving their marriage.


Listen, I don’t know if this 2nd (much, much juicier ticking nugget of celebrity gossip) was true…..but I was watching ESPN, not Entertainment Tonight (so it had to be valid, right?)…..either way……either way……if it’s even a flickering semblance of an idea that’s been tossed out because of any small piece of truth….someone answer me this…..

Seriously?  How in the world can a woman possibly convince herself that a marriage … to a man that has cheated on her with (allegedly) 10 women….or probably more if we’re really honest about what happened… worth salvaging?

Listen, for the Love of God, Elin……please make a stand…..for those of us out here just plugging away trying to make ends meet……for those of us that will never know what it’s like to be able to cut a $500,000 check just to shut someone the eff up…..for those of us that don’t have the chance to be role models to generations of kids……and for those of us (men and women) that actually respect the vows of our marriage…..enough to understand that adultery is not cool.  Not in the least. 

Tiger Woods needs to be alone.  Elin should have beat the shit out of him with his effin’ Sasquatch (which is quite possibly the ugliest driver ever invented) and continued to do so until he admitted what he had done……and then she should have beat him some more.

The point needs to be made to these prima donnas that, just because you are quite possibly the greatest golfer of all time, doesn’t mean the rules of the universe don’t apply.  Listen, I don’t have a problem with Tiger Woods continuing to play golf professionally.  I don’t even think that he should be harassed on the course by irate fans over his shenanigans….but I do believe that he should pay, personally, for such boneheaded decisions.  Folks, this has nothing to do with my love or hate of Tiger Woods, the golfer.  This has everything to do with the influence Elin’s decision might have on so many women (and men) if she decides to work things out.  Lines must be drawn (and personally, my line’s drawn with 1 affair…love you hun…..10’s certainly not an option if you’re planning on remaining in the marriage).  Maybe it’s just me, but there should be consequences for acting like a total douche…..and I’m not talking about sulking through a month or so of sex rehab……

Let’s take a second to really look at the last 2 words of the above paragraph.  Sex rehab…..let me ask you….

what the fuck is sex rehab?  Seriously.  What in the world are they going to do to help you move on after you’ve slept with almost (or probably) a dozen women while being married with children for years?  It ain’t a sex addiction folks….it’s called being an effin’ dumbass.  I mean, who doesn’t like sex…..hell, love sex…..but at what point does my interest in sex override my rational ability to understand that I promised to be faithful to my wife…..which means, sex is fine…..only it’s just with her….and if you ain’t ok with that…..why in the hell did you get married?  and if you truly screwed up (which usually means you were drunk and kissed someone….or something along those lines…..sleeping with 10 or more women….multiple times….kinda pole vaults over the normal…..I made a mistake honey….excuse) take your damn medicine….which should involve losing your wife and kids.  Sorry dude….and move on.   

Take responsibility for your own damn actions.  Period.  Don’t hide behind some absurd notion that you can’t control your libido.  God. 

 Elin, I can only hope that for once ESPN led me astray and that it’s false (well…there was that one time when Kirk Herbstreit said that Les Miles was going to Michigan…oh yeah, and one time, Brett Favre said he was retiring…and….never mind…for another day) because you seem like a lovely woman….and no one deserves to be treated the way your husband treated you.  Ever……I don’t care if he is Tiger Woods, Michael Jordan, Kobe Bryant….wait….do I see a pattern forming?

Ladies….whether single, married, divorced, or even contemplating remaining in a marriage with a man that’s cheated on you with a bakers’ dozen or so women…….have a wonderful Valentine’s Day.  You deserve it (unless you actually do decide to stay in said marriage….then, you’re just a complete fucking idiot….no offense…well, offense).

and to my wife, Ellen (ah, wouldn’t it be so much more interesting if she only spelled her name with 1 L and an I)…..I love you!

Happy Valentine’s Day!!!

I’ll talk at you all again later.

Today’s Topic:  Perforation Anxiety and oh yeah, get ready for Lost next Tuesday

Mood Music:  Tear by the Red Hot Chili Peppers

To quote a truly incredible character….from one of the greatest movies of all time:

“am I the only one around here who gives a shit about the rules?”

actually, it’s not really rules that are bothering me…..just some minor (or not so minor) “perforation anxiety”:

Why in the shit do companies not just perforate the “detach here and mail back” portion at the bottom of the page on the fucking crease?

Holy shit how annoying is it when there is an 1/8″ or less gap between the perforation and the crease in the folded page.  It says to tear on the line (which is dotted so as to really piss you off as you spin into a fury of shredded paper once you attempt without realizing the perforated line doesn’t match the crease and you rip halfway through the portion that needs to be mailed).

Man… are one pathetic loser.

Don’t you forget about Lost….next Tuesday at 9.  It’s going to be a helluva final season.

I’ll talk at you all again later.

Today’s Topic:  Happy New Year!!!

Mood Music:  Auld Lang Syne by Phish (Live 1993)

For all of you WOW subsribers…….Thanks……..and Happy New Year!  A lot happened in 2009 (including my inability to blog consistently).  Thanks for hanging around (if you’re still hanging around).  I promise to be a little more active in 2010. 

Don’t forget to watch the final season of Lost, starting Feb. 2nd, 2010.

Mucho discussion shall ensue…….I can’t wait.

By the way….I have 1 last comment to carry us into 2010:

How in the world did a band the likes of “Nickelback”…get named the “band of the decade” by anyone?  If any of you teenage Nickelback supporters feel like gloating…..I’d love to hear your thoughts (because let’s be honest….the new song…..”something about Shakin’ Hands”….leaves a lot to be desired”.

I’ll talk at you all again later.

“she ain’t no Cinderella when she’s gettin’ undressed, cause she rocks it like the naughty Wicked Witch of the West”

Today’s Topic:  It’s been awhile since we chatted…..

Mood Music:  Old Friend by Lyle Lovett

Folks…’s been quite awhile since we had a little chatter on this site.  Well….actually, only if you don’t count the constant comments from random (or possibly only 1 with many names) women about Nickelback.  My Lord, I had no idea that it would take a few articles about “the world’s worst lyricists” for my mustache to draw such hatred.  Congrats to those ladies for not holding it in, although I have to say I’m a little disappointed in the rest of you for holding out.   Now……on to the chatter…….

Congratulations to  Alabama and Texas for making the National Championship game…….looks like the BCS will escape again…..although I’m seriously beginning to wonder if the BCS officials don’t just make certain trips to games like the Texas/Nebraska game last weekend to do a little game watching or palm greasing or scoreboard operating, etc……..How in the world can anyone alive make a correct decision on how much time should be put back on a clock when a dumbass like Colt McCoy (and sorry folks, you’re a dumbass when you scramble around for 5 seconds before throwing the ball away when there are only about 10 seconds left in the game…..and you are in field goal range……and you have a time out…..) chunks the ball 30 yards out of bounds with 1 second left or 2 or 0 or… get the point…..I actually heard that the rules state that time on the clock is not reviewable by rule….if that’s really the case…..WOW.   Again, congratulations to Texas and Alabama…..and although Texas shouldn’t be there….I’ve got the feeling they will win…..because everyone loves the SEC and thinks that Nick Saban is the greatest thing since Spurrier (at least the FLorida version…) …. so they’ve got that going against them…..and the fact that their QB isn’t worth a shit…..because I can’t remember a team that actually won a National Championship with a shitty QB….can you?  So we’ll all suffer through games like Clemson/Kentucky, Georgia/Texas A&M, North Carolina/UCONN, Georgia Tech/Iowa…and of course, TCU/Boise State…only to watch Texas hang on the beat the Tide 20 to 14 in a game of offensive attrition.  Oh joy.

Can anyone really take the Heisman Trophy seriously anymore?  Do players actually even care about it?  I mean, look at this year’s invitees:

Tim Tebow (should be banned from all award contention because of his sob spell last weekend…Jesus man….act like you’ve been there before….oh wait….I forgot that Jesus is a Tebow fan…problem solved….it’s divine intervention and maybe help from a BCS official on his way back from the Texas/Nebraska game.)

Ndamukong Suh (listen, I understand that this guy had a helluva year…..I mean, a helluva year…but let’s admit….he’s no David Pollack….and that guy didn’t sniff a Heisman trophy)

Colt McCoy (like I said above….any QB that loses site of the time left in a conference championship game….that determines whether or not they are in the National Championship…sure as shit doesn’t deserve the Heisman)

Toby Gerhart (finally a deserving candidate….tone of the nation’s leading rushers with w/1,736 rushing yards and 26 TDs)

and finally,

Mark Ingram (also a deserving candidate for his ability to carry an otherwise average offense when it really mattered… the way, let’s be honest…..especially all you Crimson Tide fans……Julio Jones is one of the most overrated college receivers of all time….Jesus that guy is average at best.)

Willos’s Honorable Mention – CJ Spiller (the fact that Spiller was overlooked for the likes of Tebow and Suh is ridiculous…..the guy had over 1,800 total yards for Clemson this year with 21 TDs…..and similar to Ingram….was the catalyst of the Clemson offense….why would I pick Spiller over Ingram?   Easy….Bama’s Defense was the reason for their record this season…..Clemson’s defense wasn’t really that great….making Spillers season that much more amazing….it’s hard to remember the last time 1 player had that much of an effect on an entire football, not basketball….he literally led them to an ACC Championship) 

and finally……

What the fuck is Tiger Woods thinking right now?  Yowsa, the shit just keeps piling up and up and up…..and Gatorade said they were already considering revamping their advertising campaign (to not include Tiger….who’s the only athlete to ever have a Gatorade flavor named after them)….my ass…….you know it’s bad when sponsors start running from the greatest golfer of all time to save their reputations…..whoa.   But seriously, if there are at least 10 possible mistresses….can they really be called mistresses at that point?  Let’s think of another term….maybe “distractions”, or “sandies”….maybe “ugly” does that one fit?  For the love of God Tiger….if you’re gonna go down… least go down with women that are an upgrade from your current situation….or …..let me rephrase that…..if you’re gonna piss your life away for 10 women, when you have a perfectly great wife, and children, home and career… least… the very least…..pick some women we can actually stand to look at for the next half century as this shit plays over and over and over……because I know it’s not ending until we hit the 100s….if not 1000s.  Where’s Wilt Chamberlain when you need him?

That’s all the chatter I can muster.  I’ll talk at you all again later….and don’t forget to check out the Nickelback articles, “that’s enough Nickelback” from August, and “come waist your time with me” from October for updates from the crazy women.

“old foe, could you lay down your arms?”