Today’s Topic:  Screw the Yankees….and Chip Caray…..and Jeff Bennett (I’m ranting again so stop here if you don’t like harsh language…..seriously this time….I warned you)

Mood Music:  Blowin’ in the Wind by Bob Dylan 

For those of you that don’t know (not sure how that could be possible if you’ve been on here before but I understand if you haven’t) I’m a huge Atlanta Braves fan.  I’m a huge sports fan in general (not quite as obsessive as some guys that can rattle off the batting average of Mickey Mantle in 1960…but not too far off….by the way….that guy was probably at Turner Field tonight, more on that in a sec).  Baseball is my favorite sport and if you know anything about baseball, you know that former players…be it high school, college, professional, or just plain little league….are some of the most superstitious fans alive.  In fact, I’d be willing to argue that baseball players are by far the most superstitious atheletes in any sport. 

For those that can’t see it coming…..I wrote all that so that you won’t think I’m crazy when you read what’s coming next (THERE IS FOUL LANGUAGE BELOW SO PROCEED WITH CAUTION)

I’D LIKE TO ASK THE FOLLOWING PEOPLE, PLAYERS, ORGANIZATIONS, ETC…..TO KINDLY BLOW IT OUT THEIR ASSES:

The New York Yankees.  The Yankee players, Yankee coaches, and most importantly the Yankee fans.  Especially all of those fans that don’t know shit about baseball other than the Yankees are in New York City and they feel like buying a Derek Jeter jersey and going to some games (YO JETER, HIT IT OVA HEEYAH).  Shut the fuck up.  I watched the bottom of the ninth last night as Mariano Rivera pitched to Yunel Escobar with 2 outs and 2 strikes and if I didn’t know any better, I would’ve thought they were playing in New York City.  There were more fans cheering for the Yankees than there were Braves fans out of the 42,000 plus.  You can’t tell me that all of those fans are transplants from the “greatest city in the world”.  (maybe it’s saying something about the Braves…but we’ll get to that later)….for now…..I wanna say “blow it out your ass dick” to:

Mark Teixeira for saying that Joe Girardi is the best coach he’s ever played for, Mariano Rivera and his now 91 mph cutter (that did strike out all 4 Braves he faced….but again, we’ll get to that later)….and Francisco Cervelli (pictured earlier) for rounding the bases like he just hit his first major league home run…..act like you’ve been there before Jackass….oh wait…..it was his first major league home run…..fuck him…he still acted like a penis….Joe Girardi for his joke of an ejection…..come on man, you’re a freakin’ New Yorka…..show some damn spirit…..Bobby Cox (owner of the all-time ejection mark in Major League Baseball as a manager) shows more spirit while getting tossed and he’s 24 years older.  Damn.

***I apologize to all the Yankees fans for my tirade….no I don’t, who are you kidding.

Second….and all apologies to any Skip Caray fans that might be offended (I was a huge Skip Caray fan, just look at my WOW post last year…..somehow I doubt this will offend you)….

Chip Caray (despite the fact that you’re a fellow journalism grad from UGA)…on this night……blow it out your ass dick. 

 

Chip……let me give you a piece of advice about commentating, calling a baseball game, etc…(especially when you are a BRAVES announcer…….not an objective announcer, not for some jackleg team like the Yankees….an ATLANTA BRAVES announcer)

If the Braves are in the middle of pitching a PERFECT GAME (and I do mean middle….meaning top of the 5th) …… don’t sit there and comment on the fact that the opposing team (in this case the Jacklegs) haven’t got a hit in 8 plus innings….or that they haven’t had a baserunner yet….or that…..you get the point (by the way, this is the part that I was alluding to with the superstition talk for those of you who were anxiously wondering)

Who’s coming with me?  For those that are…..I want to take it one step further……Here’s a paraphrased transcript of Chip’s comments starting in the top of the 5th and continuing into the top of the 6th (yes, not even a full inning mind you):

Top of the 5th (he says):

- 13 in a row retired

- The Yankees have no hits in their last 8 innings, they’ve been set down 15 in a row, the Braves are perfect against them so far

Bottom of the 5th (he says):

- Look at that line score at the top……there hasn’t been a single Yankee baserunner

- for the Yankees, this game’s going to the 6th inning, they don’t have a hit yet

Top of the 6th (he says):

- would it be fair to say that what Beckett did to the Braves is what the Braves are doing to the Yankees tonight?

THEN A STAT POPS UP THAT CHIP READS SAYING:

- New York Yankees do not have a hit in last 8 innings of this series

after which Chip says:

- you’ve gotta figure at some point the Yankees are gonna break out

and finally…….just in case we hadn’t gotten the point over the last inning (and right before Mr. Cervelli’s life changing home run….and the Yankee’s first hit)

- not only do the Yankees not have a hit, they don’t have a baserunner

Screw you Chip…..and goodnight.

Finally, and I’m sure some of you saw this coming…..

Blow it out your ass Jeff Bennett.  Someone please, please, please explain to me how in the world this guy is still pitching in the Majors….much less for the Braves after blowin’ game, upon game, upon game (out his ass?  damn….maybe I’ll have to think of another way of cussing out Jeff) ……continuing from my previous blog about Bennett….I’ve still yet to see him throw a good inning.  Unbelievable.

and last but not least….on a totally unrelated topic (and one I’ll be delving into on the WOW site soon):

I say…..Fuck Rabies shots.

I’ll talk at you all again later.

“the answer, my friend, is blowin’ in the wind, the answer is blowin’ in the wind”