Today’s Topic: The worst lyrics I’ve heard in years (closing in on ever at a staggering pace)….quick blog
Mood Music: What else….Second Chance by Shinedown
Ok, Ok….I’ll answer this question first:
Yes, I listen to pop music while riding in my truck with mud tires (hey, I saved about $400 on those tires…ease up) and construction debris in the back while covered in paint from touching up a bathroom remodel.
What’s wrong with that?
I’ve gotta say…it’s not always pop music….I entertain myself while driving with a game I like to call “since I’m the only person still alive (under 50) that has ONLY a radio in his car…… (that’s correct…no tape player…do those still exist? I’m guessing no. No CD player. No Ipod connection. You get it)……..I think I’ll change the channel everytime I don’t like the song until I find something worth listening to”. Sounds great doesn’t it? Well, sometimes it can be extraordinary…..like today for example (while driving the truck with debris in the back and paint on my pants) I was flipping through Charlotte’s abysmal selection of FM Radio stations, and came across Jeff Healey singing “Angel Eyes”. I don’t know about you all, but that shit was damn good when I was 8. Ok, 11. And guess what? It still is. Man I was blurting that damn song out…in fact my partner called (we’ll call him Charlie) and when I told him what I was listening to….he asked me to crank it up. So, in fact, I’m not the only one. Maybe there are more of you….
and for the record (and please…no offense to those faithful WOW supporters who are not heterosexuals)….by partner I mean business, and just because 2 dudes like the song “Angel Eyes” by Jeff Healey doesn’t make them gay. Well…..it is a little……we are both happily married……and the song was in the movie “Roadhouse” with Patrick Swayze….a classic film about a guy that’s a bouncer at a bar who falls…..ok, so maybe that’s not a shining example of why to like the song……it just reminds me of childhood.
Speaking of gay…how about that drummer? Whoa. Listen closely for his drum solo/roll towards the end….I’m fairly certain it’s what I modeled my “Rock Band” drum improv/solo after. It’s just too close to call. (if you can’t watch the whole thing….it’s at about the 4:24 mark)
Now, to the point of this (short) blog. I was playing the radio game today and came across a song that I’ve heard about a thousand times whilst playing said game and finally I had to stop the channel surfing for once and listen. And here’s what I heard:
“I just saw Halley’s Comet, she waved…..said why you always running in place”
What the hell.
“even the man in the moon disappeared, somewhere in the stratosphere”
Huh?
There are so many things that bug me about those 2 lines that it would take a “long” blog to fully delve into the magic of these frightfully moronic lyrics….so just a couple things that bothered me and I’ll leave you all to ponder……
(again, no offense to any non-heteros out there)…but
the Halley’s Comet line…….might be the gayest thing I’ve ever heard. The effing comet waved huh. I wonder how they determined it was a she? Was this back in the 80’s? Is he writing about childhood? Did the comet just flicker in the sky and the dude heard, “hey man….why you always runnin’ in place?” Like the comet was busting his chops for living on a planet that orbits the sun as opposed to flying aimlessly throughout space, only to burn out later. Either way, what in the shit does he mean by that line? You got me….but I know 1 thing….
it sucks.
How about the ole’ man in the moon line. that guy hasn’t come up in a song before has he? Now why am I calling the moon a he? I guess it’s because we’re just discussing the “man in the moon” not just the moon, right? Either way, he disappeared at some point…..I’m guessing he too was part of this guy’s vivid childhood imagination (let’s hope he’s just reminiscing and not just effin’ insane) Unfortunately, I’ve got a feeling it’s the latter, because if I’m not mistaken, the stratosphere is part of the Earth’s atmosphere….therefore, sorry Shinedown, the moon just can’t quite disappear somewhere in the stratosphere. Now, maybe there was some cloud cover…or possibly (but doubtful) there was an eclipse….but not in the stratosphere…sorry.
Of course, of the 2 lines….the first is the one that really, really, really gets under my skin. It’s just so damn awful.
Well, that’s it for today. Just a little vent on a Wednesday night for all of you commuters. Check out your FM dial tomorrow and see if you can find this summer’s jam….”Second Chance” by Shinedown. Trust me, it will annoy you…..and maybe later we can discuss the ridiculous pronunciation of the word “me” in pop music these days.
I’ll talk at you all again later.
“please don’t cry one tear for me….I’m not afraid of what I have to say….this is my one and only voice, so listen close….it’s only for today”
5 comments
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June 11, 2009 at 1:17 pm
Stan
Dude….don’t let anyone knock your mud tires…those are effin sweet.
Regarding FM radio, I find it extremely hard to listen to it these days due to the obscene amount of awful, awful car dealership commercials. Those things just put me in a bad mood. That being said, I did tune into a little FM on the way back from the beach last weekend and heard some amazingly bad country songs along with some oldies but goodies (ex. forgot how catchy “birdhouse in your soul” is by They Might Be Giants”). I also noticed something else and maybe it just exclusive to classic rock stations, but have you ever noticed that when a song is ending, the DJ always comes on and says something like “just wrapping up a long commercial free set of your favorite classic rock”…..why are they always just “wrapping it up”? I never seem to catch the “middle of the set” or even the beginning b/c in all reality, the “set” is only about 2-3 songs without a commercial b/c that’s as long as FM can go these days w/out being interrupted by your friendly local car dealer. And back to country music, what’s with all the god awful bands these days in that particular genre? “Country” music is basically pop music now….long gone are the days of Clint Black, George Strait, Alan Jackson….you’d never catch any of those dudes with gel in their hair or leather pants on. Can say the same for Rascall Flats.
I too am a fan of Angel Eyes and Roadhouse is still a great movie. Anything with Swayze fighting instead of dancing is a plus.
June 11, 2009 at 6:03 pm
Todd
I don’t know how you do it. I’ve got Sirius Satellite, so I don’t listen to commercials or commercial pop music. There was this one week when I was building a fence with these two guys (we’ll call them Will and Charlie)… I think the winner had to be a new (and even worse than the original) cover of Careless Whisper.
I’m nevah gonah dance ageeyinah!
ugh.
June 11, 2009 at 8:14 pm
Paul E.
Road House is a great movie. Angel Eyes is a great song. Both of those statements could easily stand alone. But the song and the movie both complement and accentuate the other. Sort of like pairing a nice red with a good fillet, or beer with chicken wings.
As for current pop music, it is awful. The current crop of country music “stars” are, for the most part, pretty terrible as well. Though there are a few acts I can stand to listen to on occasion, such as the Zac Brown Band and yes, Taylor Swift.
Since my iPod was stolen and I’m too cheap to replace it, and since FM radio is, as Todd said, basically one long commercial, I basically have a rotation of about 5-6 cd’s that I am listening to at any given time. That, or talk radio. I guess I need to invest in Sirius.
June 16, 2009 at 2:58 pm
Todd
I was driving yesterday and a song came on the ol’ classic rock station that reminded me of a conversation Will and I had about some of the worst lyrics in rock history. It goes a little somethin like this…
“He was a hard-headed man
He was brutally handsome.
And she was terminally pretty.”
I think The Dude was right.
June 22, 2009 at 3:04 pm
Allen
My car is 11 years old, and since I don’t keep up with the latest in technology or music (ie no satelitte radio or i-pod), I have FM/AM radio and yes, a cassette tape deck. Although I must admit I am afraid to put another tape in there. I mean if Pink Floyd’s “Pulse” got stuck in there, where would I buy another one.
There is one bright spot I would like to point out. 95.1 in Augusta has a 90’s nooner from 12-1 everyday. I don’t usually catch it, as my lunch is at 1, but I love it when I do. They have your typical 90’s fare (Nirvana, Stone Temple Pilots, Smashing Pumpkins), but they also throw in some you haven’t heard in forever. Here’s some I’ve heard in the last few weeks:
Girlfriend – Matthew Sweet, Radio Song & Sidewinder Sleeps Tonight – R.E.M., and the real kicker Wondering & Walkin’ – Widespread Panic
Oh Yeah, the current roster of Country Music Stars suck.