“insecure from the past…how long can a good thing last?”

Today’s Topic:  The Incident

Mood Music:  Pusherman by Curtis Mayfield

FLASHBACK (Jacob)

 “make your world what you want it to be”

Opens with a shot of a dude working at a loom….in what looks to be a very, very old room.  There’s a fire burning in a small pit on the floor and he’s wearing rope sandals as he weaves the yarn/rope/whatever.  It shows him using a knife to add the strands to some kind of large tapestry that he’s making.

We see the man going out into the ocean to retrieve some kind of basket.  He dumps out a fish and proceeds to filet in on a rock and then toss it onto another rock that’s been heating up from a fire below it. 

***could it just be that easy?  I have to say, upon rewatching the scene a few hundred times….that fish looks pretty damn good when he pulls it off the boulder grill

 The man’s wearing very old looking clothes….white shirt and gray pants.  He leans back to eat and we see that he’s watching a large ship make it’s way towards the beach where he’s chilling. 

***my assumption is that it’s the Black Rock…it looks a lot like the ship in a bottle Richard Alpert was building in the last episode

Another man walks up (dressed in a black shirt and gray pants)….he says he’s there because of the ship…and they proceed to have a cryptic conversation about how he knows that the other man (in white) brought the ship to the island to prove him wrong and that it’s going to end just like it always does…with fighting, corruption, destruction, etc….the man in white answers that he is wrong and it will only end once but everything up until then is progress.  The Man in Black then tells the MIW that he wants to kill him….which doesn’t surprise MIW at all.  He mentions that one day he’ll find a loophole and kill him.  To that MIW says that he’ll be there.  The MIB says that “it was nice talking to you…..JACOB”  

and it pans out and we see that JACOB and the MIB are on a beach right below the “four-toed statue” that has what looks to be an alligator face.

***Yowsa.  Notice how the two of them are dressed in black and white.  The MIB’s name was never mentioned so we will have all summer and maybe forever to try and guess who he might be….if I had to guess….he’s the smoke monster in human form (kinda like the holy spirit)….and Jacob….well he’s like Jesus (maybe).

FLASHBACK (Kate)

“silent life of crime, a man of odd circumstance”

We see young Kate and Tom planning something outside a convenience store.  They pass a truck with a license plate XA7 023 and it has an Iowa Cattlemen sticker.  Inside, Kate steals a New Kids On the Block lunchbox and puts it in a backpack.  As they are walking out, the store clerk catches them and tells her that he’s going to call her Mom and then the cops.  A man (offscreen) offers to pay for it and then the clerk says he won’t call anyone as long as someone pays for it.  We see the man is JACOB.  He tells Katie that she’s not going to steal again and then pokes her on the nose.

***more on the nose poke later….I believe they were in Ames, IA and Tom was carrying the toy plane

FLASHBACK (Sawyer)

“two bags please, for a generous fee”

Young Sawyer watches his parents’ coffins as they are loaded into hearses.  He then sits down on the stairs of the church and continues writing “the letter” to Mr. Sawyer.  His pen runs out of ink and JACOB shows up and offers him his pen.  He makes sure to touch his thumb as he hands him the pen, he tells James that he’s sorry about his Mother and Father and then he leaves, telling him he can keep the pen.  His uncle (or some man) comes up and asks to see what he’s writing.  He reads it aloud and then tells “Jimmy” that he can’t change what’s happened.  “What’s done…is done” and makes him promise that he won’t finish the letter.  Sawyer promises and they head out.

***again with the touching….also, the license plate on the hearse was ZABM543….how awesome is it that we see the origin of the infamous “letter” that we know he will carry with him until he finally gets the chance to avenge his parents’ death in Season 3. 

 FLASHBACK (Sayid)

“got a woman I love desperately…wanna give her something better than me….been told I can’t be nothin’ else”

Sayid and Nadia are walking and talking.  She goes to cross the street and JACOB stops Sayid to ask for directions.  Nadia stops as well and then gets hit by a car.  JACOB touches Sayid’s shoulder before Sayid runs to Nadia.  She asks him to “take her home”, “take her home”.

***JACOB touches Sayid, and if I had to guess….there were probably 15 cars seen during the entire scene….just a guess

FLASHBACK (Ilana)

“you know me, I’m your friend”

Ilana is in some kind of hospital, with bandages covering her face.  A nurse comes in and tells her she has a visitor.  It’s JACOB.  He tells her that he’s sorry he couldn’t make it sooner.  She says she’s happy to see him.  He tells her that he’s there because he needs her help.  He asks if she’ll help him and she says “yes”.

***no numbers and he didn’t touch her

FLASHBACK (Locke)

“i know I can break it, this life just don’t make it”

 JACOB is sitting on a bench reading Flannery O’Connor’s “Everything that Rises Must Converge” and Locke comes crashing to the ground.  He walks over, touches him which resuscitates him.  He tells him that everything’s gonna be alright and that he’s sorry that it happened to him.

***there are 8 people that come out to see what happened, and JACOB touches Locke

FLASHBACK (Sun and Jin)

“how long can a good thing last…oh no, no, no”

Sun and Jin are getting married.  They say their vows and kiss.  As they are greeting guests, JACOB comes up to them and offers his blessing as he touches them both.  He tells them not to take their love for granted and leaves.  They don’t know who he is, but Jin notices that his Korean was excellent.

***there are 42 guests at the wedding and JACOB touches Sun and Jin

FLASHBACK (Jack)

“i’m your doctor when in need”

Jack is operating on someone.  His Dad and others are in the operating room with him.  He looks intent and suddenly twitches from a mistake….

***I knew right away that this was the incident that he told Kate about in the very first season…the moment where he learned to harness his fear and I thought….Damn these guys are good….what an unbelievable scene to show us….Bravo.

Christian Shepherd gets him to calm down by telling him to count to five.  Jack does it and finishes the surgery.  Afterwards, he tries to get an Apollo bar from the vending machine, but it gets stuck.  He’s pissed and takes it out on his father by yelling at him for putting him in “timeout” in front of co-workers that need to trust him.  He blames his father, but his father questions whether he really needs to blame himself.  We can hear someone at the vending machine and as his Dad leaves, JACOB come around the corner with 2 candy bars.  He hands it to Jack as he touches his finger and tells him that it “just needed a little push”.

***The candy bar weight was 16 oz….JACOB touched Jack’s hand

FLASHBACK (Juliet)

“i’m your momma, i’m your daddy”

Juliet is sitting on the couch with her sister as her parents tell them that they are getting divorced.  She doesn’t understand why and her Mom tells her that sometimes people that love each other aren’t necessarily meant to be together ( a line she is still carrying with her all those years later because she says something similar to Sawyer when she explains to him that she loves him but they aren’t meant to be with each other).  Her Mom says that one day, when she’s an adult, she’ll understand.  Juliet barges out of the room saying that she doesn’t want to understand.

***No JACOB in her flashback…uh-oh…also, the book on the coffee table was titled, “Mysteries of Ancient Americas”

FLASHBACK (Hurley)

“got to be mellow now, got to be mellow y’all, got to be mellow now”

Hurley is being released from jail.  He obviously doesn’t want out, but he doesn’t have a choice.  When he exits, there’s a cab outside.  He goes to get in and realizes that there’s already someone in there.  “sorry, I didn’t know it was taken”.  He says, but JACOB tells him to get in.  There’s a guitar case on the seat beside him.  Hurley asked why he was in jail, and he says he wasn’t.  He tells Hurley that he was “waiting on you, Hugo”.  Hurley then says that he must be dead and JACOB assures him that he’s not dead.  He tells Hurley that he must get on the flight 316 and he tells him that he can take his word that he isn’t crazy as he touches his shoulder.  He tells him that it’s his choice…he doesn’t have to do anything he doesn’t want to.  Hurley asks who he is and JACOB gets out of the cab…he tells him to be on that plane, and as Hurley asks about the guitar case on the seat, JACOB says that it’s not his. 

***No numbers that I could see, other than the deputy telling him that he had 1 wallet, 227 dollars, 1 fruit rollup, and 1 ballpoint pen…don’t know what those might mean….JACOB does touch his shoulder

ON ISLAND – 2007

Locke and crew are heading to find Jacob.  Ben tells Sun that Jacob is in charge of the island.  She thought that Locke was in charge, and Ben replies that Locke is just the leader….a position that’s incredibly temporary.  She asks Ben what Jacob’s like and he responds that he doesn’t know because he’s never seen him.  Locke talks to Richard and wants to know why he’s concerned.  Alpert mentions that Ben told him he killed Locke.  Alpert questions how he’s still alive.  He says he’s never seen someone come back to life and that it must be Jacob that brought him back.  Locke agrees and says that he wants to thank him.  He then tells Alpert that they will have to “deal” with the Ajira passengers after they see Jacob. 

meanwhile….

Ilana, Bram, Lapidus

Ilana and Bram (and 3 redshirts) paddle on to the shore with a knocked out Lapidus. They have a large crate.  Bram asks why they brought him and if he’s a candidate.  He didn’t know the answer to the question, he says.  They say they’re friends.  Lapidus asks what’s in the box.  They decide to open it and show him.  He sees what’s inside and responds, “terrific”.  They carry the box to Jacob’s cabin. 

***the box is labeled AA823

Locke and Ben are talking as they walk on the beach.  Locke asks him why he hasn’t told Alpert about his intentions to kill Jacob.  Ben responds that he is thinking about things differently since his dead daughter appeared to him in the cavern threatening to kill him if he didn’t do whatever Locke says.  Locke is please, because, he tells Ben, now he won’t have to convince him to kill Jacob.

They stop to rest for the night and Sun realizes that it’s their old camp.  Locke approaches Ben and points out that the door to the hatch “where they first met” is on the beach behind them.  Locke asks Ben what happened when they went to Jacob’s cabin that time.  Ben admits that he lied because he had never actually met Jacob and he was embarassed.  He then asks Locke why he wants him to kill Jacob and Locke asks him, after all he’s been through, getting cancer, watching his daughter get shot, all his sacrifices for a man he’d never met…why wouldn’t he want to kill him?

Sun finds Aaron’s old cradle and picks up Charlie’s “DS” ring (which stood for his grandfather, Dexter Stratton, for those that didn’t know)

meanwhile….

Ilana, Bram, Lapidus

…are walking, Lapidus asks what they’re going to do with it.  Bram says that they need to show it to somebody so that they’ll know what they’re up against (which is a helluva lot scarier than what’s in the box).  He tells Lapidus that they are the good guys and as long as he’s with them, he’ll be alright.  As they reach the cabin, Bram notices that the ash line has been disturbed.  Ilana enters the cabin alone and inside it has been trashed.  She finds a piece of cloth being held up by a knife in the wall.  She looks almost sad as she removes it.  When she gets outside she tells Bram that “he” isn’t there.  He hasn’t been for a long time….that someone else has been using it and then she orders the redshirts to burn the cabin.  Bram asks what now, and she shows him the cloth that she found in the cabin.  It’s got the “four-toed statue” on it and so he says that he knows where they are going.  They exit as the cabin flames are massive. 

***the knife she found holding up the cloth was the same knife that Jacob was using in the opening scene to cut the fish…..hmmmm

We then see Locke and Co. arriving at a point on the beach where Alpert stops them.  We see that they’ve gotten to the “four-toed statue” and Locke asks what it has to do with JACOB.  Alpert says that it is where he lives.  Richard asks Locke if he wants to do it in the morning and Locke tells him he’s tired of waiting.  Sun asks Ben what happened to the rest of the statue and he tells her it was like that when he got there.  She thinks he’s lying and he responds that he probably is.  Locke grabs him and they go to the base of the statue. Richard asks Ben what he’s doing there and Locke tells him Ben’s going in with him.  Richard explains that only the leader can request to see JACOB and there can only be one leader at a time.  Locke tells him that he thinks Richard’s making the rules up as he goes and that if JACOB has a problem with Ben coming in, he’ll discuss it with him.  Richard pushes the block at the base and it starts to move in.  He hands the torch to Locke and says, “tell him I said Hello”.  They enter.  There is a dark hallway with light coming from a large room at the end.  Ben looks like he’s about to puke and Locke asks if he’ll be able to do it.  He tells Ben that things will change when JACOB is dead.  Ben glances down, pulls Locke’s knife from the sheath and they enter the room.

meanwhile….

Ilana, Bram, Lapidus

…arrive at the beach and Ilana asks for “Ricardus.” Richard identifies himself and Ilana asks, “What lies in the shadow of the statue?” Richard replies in Latin, “Ille qui nos omnes servabit” (“He who will protect us all”). Ilana reveals the contents of the crate: John Locke’s dead body, which Ilana’s crew found in the cargo hold of Ajira 316. Sun looks at Locke’s body and then toward the statue, and asks: “If that’s Locke, then who is in there?”

CUT TO LOCKE, BEN, AND JACOB

 Inside the chamber, Jacob immediately recognizes the true identity of Locke’s impersonator and asks him if he finally found his “loophole.” Jacob tells Ben that no matter what he has been told, he still has a choice, that he can simply leave so the two adversaries can discuss their “issues.” Ben asks Jacob about all the times he was neglected and ignored despite his faithful service, complains that Locke was the favored one, and asks, “What about me?” Jacob’s only reply is, “What about you?” Ben stabs Jacob twice. Jacob whispers to Locke, “They’re coming.” Locke’s impersonator rolls Jacob into the fire pit in the center of the room, and Jacob burns.

 ON ISLAND – 1977

On the sub, Kate, Sawyer, and Juliet are discussing their plans.  The OJ sedative is being passed around as the Captain says over the loud speaker, “have a nice rest….see you on the Other Side”.  Kate informs them of Jack’s plan to detonate an H-Bomb and Sawyer acts like he doesn’t care.  They continue arguing about it and Sawyer realizes that Kate’s concerned that everyone on the island will die if Jack goes through with his plan.  Sawyer declines saying that he made a choice and he’s sticking to it.  Juliet tells him that “we” made a choice and she knocks out the dude bringing the sedatives and uses the keys to unlock their cuffs.  They force the Captain (at gunpoint) to surface and Juliet tells him not to take the rest of the people back to the island…just to continue on course after they are off.  The Cap. is concerned about Horace calling, but Sawyer shoots the communications speaker….and the Cap. orders the ship to surface.

***the sub is named, “Galaga” 

Sawyer, Kate, and Juliet paddle to shore in a lifeboat.

***there is an unbelievably poignant shot of Juliet as Sawyer and Kate discuss which direction they’re heading.  She is staring back at the sub as it disappears below the waterline.  I believe at that moment, she’s realizing that she will NEVER get off the island.  It’s the 2nd time she’s been that close to leaving on the sub and having it thwarted.  Very touching.

Kate thanks Juliet for backing her up and Juliet says no problem.  Sawyer has no idea where they are and at that moment, Vincent comes running out onto the beach.  Sawyer bends down to pet him asking where he’s been.

***at that moment, if you look closely, there’s a rainbow in the sky over the ocean….crazy

Next, and may I say….FINALLY!!!!!, Rose and Bernard, quite disappointedly, come out of the jungle and realize that they have been found.

Rose and Bernard tell them that after the attack of the flaming arrows they scattered and found this little spot near the beach.  Sawyer talks about how they looked for them for years and they tell him they know….they didn’t want to join them in the Dharma Initiative.  They’ve retired….and all they care about, whether or not Jack succeeds in detonating the bomb and killing everyone, is being together. 

***at this point, Sawyer glances over at Kate and Juliet sees it.  I believe that this is the look that she refers to later, and it’s an unbelievably sad scene in that sense….great job Elizabeth Mitchell…my God.  by the way, the Bernard and Rose Theme playing in the background doesn’t hurt…my favorite emotional theme of the show (couldn’t see that coming could you?).

They point them in the right direction and offer them some tea before they go.  Juliet tells Bernard, “maybe another time” and the look of sadness on her face is palpable. 

 Jack, Sayid, Eloise, Richard

Jack, Sayid, Eloise, and Richard are trying to figure out how to move “Jughead”.  Sayid points out that they only need to move the plutonium core (or something like that) per Daniel’s notes.  He says that will be enough of an explosion to take out the Swan.  We see etchings of the plan in Daniel’s notebook.  They have 2 hours, per the notebook, to get the core to the Swan site.  Sayid removes the core and Jack finds a backpack to carry it in.  He asks Sayid if he’s done with Faraday’s journal and he decides to keep it.  Richard grabs a sledgehammer and then asks Jack if he knows Locke.  He says that he’s gone to see Locke twice since he visited him and he doesn’t seem to be special.  Jack tells him not to give up on Locke. 

They follow Richard to a spot where he knocks through the wall with the hammer.  It’s the basement of a Dharma house and Alpert knocks out Eloise saying that he’s protecting their “leader”.  He tells Jack and Sayid to go on and that he’s taking her out the way they came in.  Jack and Sayid decide to escape ”in plain sight” by donning Dharma suits and just cruising past everyone.  Unfortunately….jackass Roger Linus notices them and starts a firefight by shooting Sayid in the gut.  Luckily, Hurley (again with a van rescue..amazing how Hurley’s connected to the damn Dharma vans), Miles, and Jin show up and load them in the van.

***by the way, I’ve never seen Jack soooo pissed as he was when Roger shot Sayid…and then, sooo happy when he realized who was in the van…watch closely at the size of his damn smile 

Jack tells Hurley to drive to the Swan if he wants to see Sayid again (at this point, I think Jack realizes that Sayid ain’t making it, if they don’t hurry…he’s bleeding bad)  Jin asks him what’s at the Swan, and Jack tells him that he thinks he’s found a way to get Jin back together with Sun.  As they head towards the Swan, Sayid tells Jack that he can rig the bomb to detonate on impact, but they will need to get there at the precise time of the incident.  Hurley says they are about 5 minutes away and then slams on brakes as Sawyer, Kate, and Juliet are blocking the road.

Sawyer asks Jack for 5 minutes.  He says that Jack owes him that much.  They go into the jungle to hash shit out.  There, Sawyer tells Jack about his parents.  He says that if he wanted to, he could’ve left the island, gone back, and kept all of that from happening, but he didn’t because “what’s done is done”.  Jack finally admits that he wants to blow up the island, to start over, because he had a chance with Kate and he blew it.  He tells Sawyer about how Locke told him that they were not supposed to leave and that he believes it’s their destiny to be there.  Sawyer replies that he “doesn’t speak Destiny” and then proceeds to try and whip Jack’s ass.  Juliet conveniently breaks up the fight.  She tells Sawyer that Jack is right and when he asks her to be straight with him, she says that she loves him but that when she saw the way he looked at Kate, she knew they wouldn’t be together.  If what Jack is trying to do works, that will mean that she never met Sawyer (and essentially never lost him).

***HI-YO!!!  Again, the Emmy for this episode goes to……Elizabeth Mitchell….yowsa.

Jack is seen overlooking the Swan site and Kate comes up on him.  She sees that his face is all messed up and mentions the time that she sewed him up on the beach.  He asks her why she didn’t want to talk about Aaron and she says that she came back so that she could help Aaron be with his mother.  Jack says then the only way to do that is for them to carry out the plan of dropping the bomb in the hole.  He asks if she’s with him and she replies, “yes”.

Hurley tells Sayid he’s gonna be ok.  Jack returns and Sayid tells him that he fixed the bomb to explode on impact but that it’s gotta be timed right.  Jack says that if it works, it will save Sayid, to which Sayid replies that nothing can save him.  Jack heads out after glancing at Kate.  As he passes Sawyer he says, “I’ll see you in Los Angeles”. 

 Radzinsky shows up at the Swan site bitching at Dr. Chang about stopping the drill.  Chang tells him that the bit will melt if they keep going.  He asks why “Stuart” (Radzinsky) needs to work on his experiment now.  SR replies that he’s been working on it for 6 years….”designing a station that will manipulate electromagnetism in ways we’ve only dreamed of”….to which Chang asks is he’s thought about the consequences of drilling into the pocket of energy.  He tells Chang that he came to the island to change the world and that’s exactly what he’s going to do.

Later, Phil calls Radzinsky on the radio as the electromagnetic power is getting worse at the Swan site.  Phil tells him that Sayid came back and that they took off with a bomb.  He didn’t know where they were going, but Radzinsky does.  He tells Phil to get over there, and that they are coming there and he will be ready for them.

With everyone now on the same page (although it’s unclear what changed Kate’s mind), Jack enters the construction site of the Swan station at the same time security officer Phil arrives with a team of armed men. On the orders of Radzinsky, Dr. Pierre Chang continues drilling into the energy source beneath the construction site.   A massive gunfight ensues, wherein the survivors gain the upper hand, allowing Jack to drop the bomb into the pit at the same time the drill hits the energy source. The bomb, however, does not detonate, and suddenly all metal items are being pulled into the pit. A toolbox knocks Jack unconscious, a rebar stabs Phil in the chest, a beam traps Dr. Chang’s arm and a metal chain wraps around Juliet’s midsection and drags her into the pit. Miles manages to lift the beam and release Dr. Chang’s injured hand. Sawyer and Kate grab Juliet’s hand before she falls into the pit, but their efforts to save her are futile as she slips out of Sawyer’s grip and falls to the bottom of the pit. Severely injured, Juliet sees the bomb lying next to her, cushioned by the mud.

She picks up a rock and hits the hydrogen bomb’s fission core eight times until a flash of white ends the episode.

***The Official Lost Podcast stated that the bomb did detonate.

 

Quotes

“still trying to prove me wrong aren’t you” – man in black to Jacob

“you are wrong” – Jacob

“am I?” – man in black

“they come, fight, they destroy, they corrupt….it always ends the same” – the man in black

“it only ends once….anything that happens before that, is just progress” – Jacob

“we’re gonna drink our OJ and take our chances in the real world” – Sawyer

“is there anything in there about how we’re supposed to move a 10 ton bomb across the island?” – Jack

“actually, it’s 20 tons” – Sayid

“if Edison was only worried about the consequences, we’d all be sitting in the dark” – Radzinsky

“and I’ve never seen anyone who doesn’t age” – Locke to Alpert

“if I were you, I wouldn’t give up on him” – Jack about Locke to Alpert

“oh, hell no” – Rose

“they found us” – Rose

“son of a bitch” – Bernard

“Jack’s got a bomb” – Kate

“who cares…..it’s always something with you people” - Rose

“i don’t speak destiny” – Sawyer to Jack

“in my experience, the people that go out of their way to tell you they are the good guys….are usually the bad guys” – Lapidus to Brahm

“do you expect me to believe that?” – Sun to Ben

“not really” – Ben to Sun

Questions and Tidbits

- what’s up with the food drops?

- what’s the “loophole”?

- was Jacob really the one that led all of the Losties to the island?  Has he been “pushing” them all along?

-  the four-toed statue is now confirmed to be “Taweret”, the Egyptian deity of protection in pregnancy and childbirth.  According to Wikipedia, her name means, “one who is great”.  She was the wife of Apep, the original God of Evil who resided below the horizon.  Since he was below the horizon, she became seen as the Northern Sky, a constellation covering the area of present-day Draco, which always lies above the horizon.  Thus she was also known as the “Mistress of the Horizon”.  In Egyptian depictions, she has been seen with  crocodile, hippo, and lion parts since these are all animals that they feared.  She was also frequently depicted carrying an ankh.

- Finally, I have to wonder what’s up with the numbers showing up in each flashback and Jacob actually touching each of the original Losties in their flashbacks.  Did he mark them from that point forward, so that he could track them somehow?  Did he basically give them some kind of gift (longer life, ability to cheat death, etc…) so that they would be able to eventually get to the island?  Is this maybe how he brings people to the island….kinda like what the MIB was saying at the beginning about the Black Rock?  Was he following them for their entire lives or just at these certain moments?  Kate, Sawyer, Jack, Sun, and Jin all pre-island.  Hurley after the original crash.  Ilana….well, not sure about Ilana.  Just a little food for thought.

Alright folks….that’s all I’ve got….LOOOONG, I know…..but hey, what a great season.  Please comment because I’m gonna keep the LOST Discussion page up until the end of next season…..whenever you get the urge, make sure to post your theories on the page.  It should make for some fun banter until next year. Otherwise, thanks so much for reading my long-winded recaps throughout the 5th season of Lost……and I look forward to 6th and final season of what I consider (pretty easily to be honest) the GREATEST TELEVISION SHOW OF ALL TIME!!!

I’ll talk at you all again later.

“superfly, here I stand, secret “stache”…… I’m your Pusherman, I’m your Pusherman, I’m your Pusherman”

“you don’t have to follow me, only you can set you free”

Today’s Topic:  Follow the Leader

Mood Music:  Cult of Personality by Living Colour

Another week…..another outstanding episode…ok, ok…..I’ll admit, I wasn’t thrilled with “the Variable” last week…but let’s just say that this episode more than made up for it in my opinion…and to be honest…I’m so excited about the finale tonight that I can hardly bring myself to finish this recap.  Either way….here goes and I look forward to some discussion on this episode and a little speculation as to what you think’s going down tonight….so without furthur ado:  Season 5, Episode 15……Follow the Leader.

ON ISLAND

1977

Jack and Kate discuss their options while hiding behind bushes at the Hostiles’ camp. Suddenly, a gunshot is heard, and they watch Daniel collapse to the ground. As they are about to run away, they are surrounded by two men riding horses. One of them knocks out Jack with his rifle’s butt and the other one aims at Kate.

***I really love the way they’ve taken scenes that we’ve already seen and show them from other POVs this season….it is really interesting to note that maybe this is done as a plot device, or maybe they are actually using it to stress the idea that there are more than one way things can play out and just because something looks a certain way from one POV, it can be interpreted in an entirely different way from another

At the place Daniel was shot, Eloise skips through the pages of his journal. She reaches the first page, and is confused by the dedication in it, which she appears to recognize as her own handwriting. Charles Widmore and a man arrive, holding Jack and Kate captives. Richard explains the situation to Widmore. Eloise asks Jack and Kate if they’ve come with Daniel, to which Jack replies “Yes.” She orders that they be taken to her tent. Widmore inquires why the DHARMA Initiative would declare war on them, but Eloise tells him that the three intruders are not DHARMA people. After entering the tent, she assures Jack and Kate that she will believe whatever they say because she has just killed a man who claims to be her future son, the same man who told her to bury the bomb 23 years earlier before disappearing. Jack tells Ellie that by using the bomb, they can alter the future and undo what Ellie did to her future son.

***very interesting….is it just me or is anyone else sure that there’s no way you would recognize your own handwriting on a random journal?  I know that it’s not the first thing that would come to mind…put it that way….then again if the person you just shot claims to be your son…then that helps hasten things

At the Barracks, Radzinsky takes Sawyer and Juliet to the security office where he interrogates a bound Sawyer about the location of Kate. Juliet, also bound, sits off to the side watching. Sawyer is brutally beaten by Radzinsky against Horace’s wishes. Radzinsky says that he is in charge now. Juliet begs them to stop, and tells them that they aren’t out to hurt them, they have known them for three years, and that they are good people. Sawyer tells her not to talk and that whatever she says they won’t believe. Radzinsky, Horace, and Phil draw the conclusion that Sawyer is not going to talk no matter how much they beat him, but Phil claims that he has a way to make Sawyer talk. He then hits Juliet across the face, angering Sawyer.

***God Phil’s a prick

Meanwhile, Hurley, Miles and Jin escape the barracks, heading for the beach. Chang follows them and asks if they’re really from the future. Hurley denies it. To determine the truth, Chang quizzes Hurley with questions relevant to 1977. Hurley struggles with the answers, being unsure of his birth year, the current president of the U.S., or whether the Korean War had even occured. Flustered, Hurley finally admits that he’s from the future and Chang believes him. Chang then asks Miles if it is true that he is his father, and Miles reluctantly affirms that he is. Having confirmed his suspicions Chang reveals that he now believes what Daniel told him about needing to evacuate the entire Island.

At the Hostiles camp, Widmore and Richard are standing over Daniel’s body. Widmore asks Richard why Daniel looks so familiar to him. Before Richard can respond, Eloise emerges from the tent and orders Richard to untie Jack and Kate. Eloise gently covers Daniel’s body with a blanket and closes his eyes. She then announces to Widmore that she is taking Jack and Kate to the bomb. Widmore protests and they appear to argue. Jack asks Richard who that man is and Richard tells him it’s Charles Widmore. Richard implies that Eloise and Charles are romantically involved but that their relationship is complicated.

***looked like she had a hand on her stomach and Widmore was looking concerned (Daniel?)

Chang returns to the Barracks and sees Horace, Radzinsky and the other men interrogating Juliet and a bloody and bruised Sawyer. He tells Horace, Radzinsky and the others to stop the drilling at The Swan and orders them to evacuate the Island. Radzinsky angrily insists on continuing the drilling and when Chang appeals to Horace, Radzinsky claims that he is in charge now. Sawyer agrees with Chang and proposes a deal to Radzinsky: if he and Juliet can leave the Island on the submarine, he will tell Radzinsky everything he wants to know. As a result, he demands that Sawyer draws a map of the Hostiles’ location. Sawyer and Juliet are then taken away to the submarine.

Eloise, Kate, Jack, Richard, and Erik come to the creek. As they stop to attempt to swim under the tunnels, Kate tells Jack she’s going back. Erik threatens to shoot Kate if she tries to leave. There is a gunshot and Kate is shocked. She looks down and sees that she’s not hit. Erik goes down and Sayid comes out of cover. He points his gun at Eloise and Richard as they put up their hands. Sayid is told about changing the future, and he is convinced he has already done so by killing Ben, but Kate informs him that Ben is alive. Kate is allowed to leave the group and heads for the submarine.

***gotta admit that when Sayid popped out of the jungle it was pretty damn badace!

At the Barracks a message is heard over the loudspeakers that the sub will leave in 30 minutes. At the dock, people board the sub while Miles, Hurley, and Jin watch. They see Charlotte and her mom get out of a bus and head for the dock. Lara and baby Miles get out. Lara is arguing with Pierre. Pierre angrily tells them to leave. Adult Miles realizes that his father had to be harsh to his mother in order to save her life. Miles sees Juliet and Sawyer, still handcuffed, and brought in a jeep. Miles confused, hands binoculars to Hurley, who tells Miles that Sawyer probably has a plan.

***it has to be a crazy realization for Miles to see that the whole reason he hated his father for all those years…and refused to search for him….was wrong….he was looking out for Miles and his Mom…..man.

On the dock, Sawyer sarcastically quips that he’ll buy Microsoft and bet on the Cowboys in the 1978 Superbowl.

***finally somebody is making sense regarding time travel….make some damn money betting (Biff style)

He apologizes to Juliet and says that she was right three years ago, that they should have gotten on the submarine. Juliet tells Sawyer she was glad that she stayed behind. Once on the submarine, Juliet and Sawyer are handcuffed to a table in the ship’s gallery. Juliet asks Sawyer what they will do when they get to Ann Arbor. Sawyer replies that they aren’t going to Ann Arbor, and that they’ll be free in the “real world”. Juliet chuckles saying she doesn’t even know what that means anymore. They hold hands and say that they love each other. Just after this, Phil brings Kate to the submarine, where she is cuffed with Sawyer and Juliet. They give each other awkward looks as the submarine departs from the Island.

Richard, Jack, Eloise and Sayid swim down to the underground tunnels beneath the Barracks where the bomb is hidden. As they walk through the tunnels, Sayid whispers to Jack, “I’m sure it’s occurred to you that this woman’s motivation in helping us detonate the hydrogen bomb is only to annihilate the Dharma Initiative.” Jack responds that her motivation can be trusted because Eloise will be the one to tell them how to get back to the island 30 years from now, but Sayid is not convinced. They come to a room and Eloise uncovers the bomb. She looks at the other two and says “Now what?” while everyone looks confused.

***seriously….as Allen mentioned in the LOST Discussion page…..it’s not like you can just tap the damn thing with a hammer…for more in-depth analysis of the detonation of a nuclear bomb…see my link on the LOST Discussion page….there’s a lot more to it than just dropping it from a plane…put it that way (my guess…they don’t detonate it……one other thing, and I’m nitpicking…if that thing had been leaking radiation for 30 years…..I’m pretty sure that those folks would be dead upon entering those tunnels.)

2007

At the Others‘ camp, Richard is sitting at a table building a ship in a bottle on the beach, an Other named Vanessa informs Richard that “he’s here.” Locke arrives with a boar, followed by Ben and Sun. Richard questions that it’s been three years since he last saw him, and wonders where he’s been. Locke tells Richard that he has a new purpose, and needs Richard to come with him immediately. After Ben tells Sun that Richard has been around for “a very long time”, Sun interrupts Locke and Richard with the 1977 DHARMA Recruits picture, asking Richard if he recognizes the people in it. Richard replies he recognizes them because he “watched them all die”.

***speculation is that what he actually meant by this was that he saw them disappear (the island hopping shit)….I don’t think that’s what he meant at all but I’m sure we’ll find out tonight

Later in a private conversation with Sun, Locke implies he believes their time-traveling friends are not dead. Locke asks Richard if he still has the compass he gave him in 1954, Richard says he does. Locke asks Ben to join him and Richard on the journey. Ben wonders if Locke doesn’t trust him around his former people, but Locke informs him that he isn’t afraid of anything he can do anymore. Locke tells Sun to stay behind, and that he will be back in a few hours, and that she has his word that he will find a way for her and Jin to be reunited. Locke, Richard, and Ben then leave with the compass on into the jungle.

During the trip Richard asks Locke where he has been the past three years, Locke is surprised he doesn’t know. Locke tells him that they are going to the Beechcraft (where Locke flashed to during the Island’s time movements), and after that they must find Jacob. When they have almost arrived, Locke tells Richard that he must treat a man’s wound at the Beechcraft, and then tell him to bring everyone back to the Island, and to do this he has to die. Locke then tells Ben that the man is Locke himself.

***this had to be one of the greatest scenes this season….it shows a lot about what’s going on…answers questions like:  can the Losties see themselves in the past/future/etc…?  yes.  is the compass the same one that’s been passed around? yes.  how could Richard know where Locke was for that brief period of time to just show up in the middle of the jungle?  Locke told him.  Pretty cool.

While Richard tends to the time-traveling Locke, the other Locke tells Ben that he knows that Ben has never seen Jacob, which surprises Ben. Richard then tells Locke that he seems pretty convinced about what he made him do to his past-self, especially since he said to him that he was going to die, Locke tells Richard it was the right choice.

The three then return to camp, where Locke makes a speech to all the Others present he is going to see Jacob, and he would like them all to come with him. The Others are excited by this, with the exception of Richard who admits his worry to Ben, that Locke may be a problem in the future. Ben responds by telling Richard that’s why he tried to kill him. Sun questions Locke and is assured by him Jacob can help them bring Jin and the rest of their people back to the present, and that Richard has agreed to show them where they need to go.

The next morning, Locke and the Others leave to find Jacob. Ben then tells Locke of Richard’s thoughts, that seeing Jacob makes him uncomfortable, but then reaffirms his allegiance to Locke’s quest: to reunite with his friends who are in 1977. Locke lets Ben in on a secret; he’s not interested in reuniting with his friends in 1977 and reveals his true intentions are, much to Ben’s shock, to kill Jacob.

***dun-dun-dunnnn.  Another topic that aroused speculation…the thought is that maybe Locke was being metaphorical…that he’s not actually planning on killing Jacob, but just proving that he doesn’t exist…essentially killing him in the eyes of the Others….I’m pretty sure he exists and I’m pretty sure Locke’s plan ain’t coming to fruition once Jacob has his way with him.  Not to mention, Ben’s in for a rude awakening I think.

Tidbits and Questions

- where are Rose and Bernard?  Seriously.  They better show up tonight or I’m gonna…

- what’s up with the food drops?

- do you think Locke’s really gonna kill Jacob? 

- do you think they will detonate the bomb?

- my guess is that the incident doesn’t refer to the Swan catastrophe at all…but something on a much, much grander scale…like the eradication of the Hostiles in 1977….I think maybe Dharma actually succeeds in finding the hostiles and a large gunfight ensues…possibly at the Swan site…something happens that causes it to become unstable, leaving only Radzinky there to man the button.  or probably something totally different is going to happen….either way, I’m betting Chang loses his arm and the guy in the video with him was Miles….and the baby was also Miles

That’s it for today….Can’t wait for tonight!!!

I’ll talk at you all again later.

“a leader speaks, that leader dies”

“iiiiiiiiiiiiiii can’t stand it, i know you planned it”

Today’s Topic:  The Variable

Mood Music:  Sabotage by the Beastie Boys

What’s up folks?  Hope you all are having a great week.  This is being written a little later than normal, so hopefully you’ll keep checking this morning.  Pretty good episode…..let’s delve into it…..Season 5, Episode 14…..The Variable:

ON ISLAND

Daniel arrives on the Island via the Galaga, and is greeted by Miles. Daniel tells Miles that he is back due to his discovery in Ann Arbor of a photo of the new recruits showing that Jack, Kate, and Hurley have returned to the Island. He demands to be taken to Jack’s house. Miles complies. Once at Jack’s house, Daniel frantically questions him on how he returned to the Island. Jack mentions a plane, and says that Daniel’s mother, Eloise Hawking, persuaded him to get on the plane. Daniel asks Jack if Eloise spoke about destiny, to which Jack says yes. Daniel tells Jack that his mother was wrong, and that Jack does not belong there; whether meaning on the Island at all, or in the DHARMA Initiative in 1977, is unclear.

Miles agrees to Daniel’s request to drive him to the Orchid to run “an errand,” leaving behind an inquisitive Jack. Jack knocks on Sawyer’s door to inform him Daniel has returned and has headed to the Orchid. Sawyer responds that he is too busy to help, but is persuaded by Juliet to explain his predicament: Phil, tied up in the closet, is in possession of the surveillance tape incriminating Sawyer and Kate in their attempt to save Ben’s life by taking him to the Hostiles’ camp.

Daniel and Miles end up at the Orchid station just in time to witness the arrival of Pierre Chang. Leaving Miles in the Jeep, Daniel follows Chang and Eric inside and overhears Chang’s discussion with Tony, the foreman, regarding the danger of drilling deeper into the rock (and potentially releasing dangerous energy). Daniel walks in (bumping into an impatient Chang, who is leaving) and has a brief exchange with Tony, who is highly skeptical of Chang’s theories about space and time. Daniel then approaches Chang, who remembers Daniel’s arrival to the Island with LaFleur. Daniel explains that it is necessary to begin evacuating the Island, as the magnetic energy unleashed by DHARMA construction work has caused injuries. When Chang responds skeptically and insists that the energy has been contained, they board the Orchid elevator to the surface and Daniel explains that in six hours, a catastrophic accident will occur at the Swan station. Chang demands to know why Daniel considers himself qualified to make such a prediction, and Daniel reveals that he has arrived “from the future.”

Daniel follows Chang outside the Orchid, where Chang accuses him of “having a little fun” at his expense after overhearing his comments about time travel. Daniel produces notes from his journal as evidence he is speaking in good faith, but is interrupted by Miles. Daniel catches both off guard by revealing that Miles is Chang’s son; Miles denies this. Chang tells Daniel, “please stay away from me,” and departs in his DHARMA van. Miles then confronts Daniel about the reveal, who explains that he is only getting Chang to do what he is “supposed to do.”

Jack, Kate, Sawyer, Juliet, Jin, and Hurley meet in Sawyer and Juliet’s home to discuss their options. According to Sawyer, they must either leave the Island by submarine before they are caught, or head into the jungle to “start from square one.” Jin refuses to leave as long as there is a possibility he might be reunited with Sun, and Hurley supports staying as well. Before they can continue their conversation, they are interrupted by the arrival of Miles and Daniel. Daniel asks where he can find the Hostiles and explains that his mother is among them, and furthermore, that she is their only hope of getting back to where they belong. It is not clear whether he means off the Island or back to the present (2008).

Sawyer refuses to assist Daniel, but Jack enlists Kate’s help in taking Daniel to the Hostiles’ camp. Juliet provides the code (141717) to the sonar fence and makes the case that they should help Daniel as “it is over for us here, anyway.” Sawyer argues that Jack is making a mistake and that he, Jin, Hurley, and Juliet will meet them at the beach when their plan inevitably fails.

On the way to the motor pool, Kate and Jack discuss how to obtain weapons, and Daniel tells them to go on without him and that he will catch up. Daniel then approaches a young Charlotte, who is playing on a swing set nearby. She tells Daniel that she isn’t allowed to eat chocolate before dinner, and introduces herself after Daniel assures her he won’t tell. He tearfully tells Charlotte that she and her mother must leave the Island with Dr. Chang; he explains that he tried to avoid telling her this because he did not believe he would be able to “change things”, but hopes that “maybe” he can.

As Jack, Kate, and Daniel are arming themselves near the motor pool, they are interrupted by Radzinsky and two other DHARMA workers. When Radzinsky sees their weapons, he accuses Daniel of lying about the group’s intentions, and a firefight ensues when Daniel tries to make a getaway. Daniel is grazed in the neck by a bullet, and Radzinsky is shot in the arm. As Jack, Kate, and Daniel make their way to the Jeep, Jack opens fire on a fuel tank, causing a tremendous explosion. They escape as the dust settles, and Radzinsky calls for someone to “sound the alarm.”

Upon arrival at the sonar fence, Jack treats Daniel’s neck wound as Kate enters the code provided by Juliet. Daniel reminds Jack that 1977 is now “their present,” and as such, they would do well to remember that they are still at risk of injury or death regardless of their presence in the future.

Meanwhile, Juliet and Sawyer are packing to leave for the beach when they are interrupted by the alarm. Radzinsky and his assistants burst into Sawyer’s house and inform Sawyer of the situation, but quickly discover the bound and gagged Phil. He forces Sawyer and Juliet to surrender at gunpoint.

When Jack, Daniel, and Kate stop at a creek to rest, Jack asks Daniel to explain his intentions. Daniel reveals his knowledge of the impending disaster caused by a massive energy release at the Swan station. He explains that as a result of this, the installation they know as “the hatch” will be built as a precautionary measure to contain this energy and prevent future incidents. Over the next 20 years, he explains, it will be necessary for DHARMA to keep this energy at bay by pressing a button; ultimately, Desmond’s failure to do so will cause the crash of Oceanic Flight 815. Daniel tells Jack and Kate that his studies of relativistic physics have revealed the relationship between the “constants” in this equation and the “variables.” The variables, he says, are people—specifically, their choices and free will may allow them to change their destiny. Daniel then reveals his intention to set things right by detonating a hydrogen bomb in an attempt to negate the catastrophic energy release, thereby preventing the events that led to Oceanic 815’s crash.

Jack, Daniel, and Kate arrive undetected at the Hostile’s camp, where Daniel fires two warning shots into the ground and demands to speak with Ellie. Richard Alpert appears to recognize Daniel, but insists that Eloise is not there. Daniel asks Richard at gunpoint where the hydrogen bomb is buried, and as Richard attempts to talk him down, Daniel is shot from behind by Eloise Hawking. Bleeding out, Daniel tells Eloise incredulously, “You…knew this was going to happen, but you sent me here anyway.” When it is apparent that Eloise does not recognize Daniel, he reveals, in his dying breath, that he is her son.

FLASHBACK

A young Daniel Faraday is playing “Scherzo No.2, Op.31″ by Chopin on a piano in his home. His mother, a middle-aged Eloise Hawking, suddenly appears in the doorway, watching him play. Daniel asks her opinion of the music, and she tells him that it is wonderful. However, she chides him for wasting his time on frivolities such as music. She claims that he has a scientific mind which he must dedicate entirely to science and mathematics. She claims that it is her job to keep him on the path, and that there is no time for distractions. Daniel claims that he can make time, but she disagrees, closing the piano.

Several years later, Daniel is graduating from a doctoral program at Oxford. As he walks out of the college with Theresa Spencer, they are met by Eloise, who coldly responds to Theresa’s repeated attempts of bonding with her, and requests to have lunch alone with Daniel. Theresa complies despite Daniel’s protests, leaving Daniel and Eloise to go to a curry restaurant. Daniel is hurt by Eloise’s rudeness to Theresa, because she is his girlfriend. Eloise tells him that he has no time for women, and that he must focus entirely on his work. Daniel mentions that he is the youngest doctor to ever graduate from Oxford, and that he received a £1.5 million research grant from Charles Widmore. Eloise relents, apologizing to Daniel and telling him that she is not there to fight with him. She stands to leave, but not before giving him a wrapped gift. After she leaves, Daniel opens it; it is a leather journal.

In 2004, Daniel is watching a news report regarding the wreckage of Oceanic Flight 815 being discovered by the Christiane I. He begins crying about it, and when asked why he is crying by his caretaker, he replies that he doesn’t know. Daniel then receives a visitor: Charles Widmore. The two discuss Widmore’s grant, the following research and Daniel’s dismissal from Oxford. Daniel shows remorse over Theresa, mentioning that he tested “it” on himself before her. Widmore notices Daniel crying and asks if he said something to upset him. Daniel replies it is because of the discovery of Flight 815’s wreckage and that he doesn’t know why its bothering him so much other than it’s a sad situation. Widmore replies that they aren’t dead, because he faked the wreckage. He feels secure in telling this to Daniel because, due to Daniel’s recently developed memory issues, Daniel will forget the entire meeting. Widmore offers Daniel a job working on the Kahana and going to the Island, which he claims will heal Daniel’s mental problems. When Daniel comments on how similar Widmore sounds to Eloise, Widmore remarks that he and Eloise are “old friends”.

A short time later, Daniel is playing the piano when he is visited by Eloise. She asks if Daniel has been offered a job, to which he affirmatively replies, but states that he is incapable of doing the job due to his memory loss. Eloise eventually persuades Daniel, however, by telling him that going to the Island will make her proud of him. He eventually agrees to do so.

LA 2008

Desmond, after being shot by Ben, is rushed to the hospital to undergo surgery. A desperate Penny is left outside with her son Charlie. She is approached by Eloise Hawking, who comments that Charlie has his father’s hair. Eloise reveals that she knows Desmond, and that his injury is her son’s fault. Penny asks if Eloise’s son is Ben, but Eloise replies instead that it is Daniel. Eloise apologizes for her son’s actions. Penny asks Eloise if Desmond will be all right, but Eloise says she does not know. Eloise says that for the first time in a long time she does not know what will happen next. Soon afterward, a nurse approaches Penny and tells her that Desmond is in the recovery room; implying the surgery was successful. Penny leaves little Charlie with the nurse and rushes to meet Desmond, who reminds her of his promise that he would never leave her.

Eloise leaves. As she exits the hospital, she is approached by Charles Widmore, who asks about Desmond’s condition. She replies that Desmond is fine, and that his daughter is inside the hospital, suggesting that he goes and talk to her. Widmore remarks that he has sacrificed his relationship with Penny. Eloise replies angrily that Widmore knows nothing about sacrifice; she had to send her own son to the Island. Widmore retorts that Daniel is his son as well. Eloise slaps Widmore across the face and leaves.

 

Tidbits and Questions

- what’s up with the food drops?

- where in the eff are Bernard and Rose….seriously?

- is Daniel really dead?  if so, what about the theory that he was the one behind the camera in the video from Comic-Con….that wouldn’t have happened yet

- do you think that they will actually change the future or do you think that their attempts at doing so are just what actually causes things to happen the way they did?

- the 100th episode was also Obama’s 100th day in office…hmmmm

- the time on Daniels’ watch when Eloise tells him he must go to the island was 3:32:12

- what do you think the numbers 141717 mean?  anything?  maybe the date of the black rock crash?  January 4th, 1717

- remember seeing a copied page of Dan’s journal in the first episode this season, when Caesar found the papers in the Hydra Station?  I wonder what happens to his journal now that he’s dead?  Do you think Eloise takes it and that’s how she learns about him?

Quotes

“your mother’s an other” – Sawyer to Dan

“welcome to the meeting Twitchy” – Sawyer to Dan

“he’s on a whole new level man” – Miles about Dan

“like, Fonzie times” – Hurley to Dan

“i can make time” – Dan

and lastly, for a little mind blowing thought provocation….

Faraday says that people are the variables….the things that change in the experiment so to speak….yet when his mother shoots him….he comments that she knew that it was going to happen all along, which would actually make “him” a constant……what does that all mean….and do you think that maybe Eloise has attempted to change her actions in prior incantations of the overall storyline….meaning….similar to Desmond trying to save Charlie…she had altered certain events to try and save Daniel but ultimately realized that no matter what she did….he was going to die?  that would explain her conversation with Desmond in the episode “Flashes Before Your Eyes” from Season 3….and her belief in course correction.  thing is…do you all believe that…or is something else going on?  Can the Losties change the course of the future or will attempting to do so only play right into what’s bound to happen?  Yowsa.

I’ll talk at you all again later.

“you shut me down with a push of your button?”

“i’m inside, open your eyes, i’m you, sad patrol”

Today’s Topic:  All time mistaken song lyrics

Mood Music:  Sad But True by Metallica

So there I was….16ish, blond hair, blue eyes, polo shirt, polo shorts (I’m guessin’ on those), some kind of Nike shoes I’m sure, braided belt………..

Metallica concert

Huh.

That’s right.  I remember it like it was yesterday (if yesterday was about 16 or so years ago….my God).  I rode over to Williams Brice stadium (that’s the football stadium in Columbia, SC and a place that I have denied myself entrance into for the last 10 years…but that’s for another time) in the front of a convertible Mustang (that’s right) driven by an old friend (we’ll call him Ryan) as another good friend (we’ll call him Ed) rode in the back getting pummeled by the ridiculous amount of wind that pummels folks who draw the unlucky position of riding in the back of a convertible on the interstate while travelling 70+ mph with the top down….of course.  Why not, right?

Anyway, there we were.  I (decked in my Polo/Nike combination of an ass kicking in the making ) awaited the entrance of Faith No More on stage.  You all remember Faith No More….

the goldfish flopping video….the exploding piano….the….well, maybe you do, or not…either way, Epic is a classic from my/our youth and if you don’t remember that song, you should be ashamed of yourself….unless you’re a woman and you were probably listening to something like Ace of Base (hi-o-Margo) at that time.  Maybe even Roxette for the more sophisticated….”lay a whisper on my pillow…leave the winter on the ground”…you know…”I wake up lonely, there’s an air of silence….in the bedroom, and all around”…..that Roxette.  Okay, okay….”touch me now, I close my eyes, and dream away”…..that’s all I can take….I can’t quite bring myself to even type the chorus, but I’m sure all of you (not just the women, dudes) are humming it right now.  Feel free to type it in the comments below…the first to get it correct will get….well….can I borrow from Jeff Jensen and say nothing, but I’ll give ye a shout out….holla.

So, all that to get to this…..there we were.  Amidst a sea of black clad, devil worshipping, liquor swigging, motorcycle riding, vomit spewing…..okay, that was just the guy behind us….but, still, we were not necessarily the common denominator if you know what I mean.  The 3 of us….no…..I sang along to Faith No More, despite the fact that they had no fans, a quarter of the sound quality, and were performing what seemed like 8 miles away.  As I clapped upon their denouement…..it wasn’t lost upon me (especially as a 16ish year old….and especially since the show had been cancelled once due to Axl’s sore throat) that I was about to witness 2 of the greatest rock bands to grace my generation…..Metallica and Guns N’ Roses……N’ that order.  

Old Slap Leather behind us continued pounding that bottle of straight Jack Daniels as we fidgeted with the ridiculously long extra lengths on the end of our braided belts….hoping that we would not actually make eye contact with him.  (I’m pretty sure the alcohol policies were pretty lax back then…that is…at least when it comes to those people getting paid $5.25/hr being expected to stop 250+ pound dudes carrying bottles of Jack Daniels openly….actually hoping to get stopped….let me just say that I’d be turning the other cheek if you know what I mean)

Either way, be it because of the ridiculously slack security or the gall of this idiot behind us…..once Metallica started, the drunken behemoth was getting pretty belligerent and I’m pretty sure that I was the only one noticing.  As I courageously glanced over my shoulder, I immediately realized the mistake that was looking into this beast’s eyes.  The steely resolve showing in that gaze depicted a man ready to see that braided belt and raise with a pair of shredded polo shorts.  (he stared straight at me with the look of a man that would rather devour his own child than hear someone sing the wrong lyrics to a Metallica song….especially at a Metallica concert)….so I was pretty much scared for my life….our lives….and then I heard it…….like a slow rising death chant…..those hollow, haunting lyrics….that still send chills down my spine to this day….just bellowing over the din of the bikers behind us……

“YOU KNOW IT’S SAD PATROL!!!!!”

Oh shit Ed.  Stop it.  Stop it right now.  It’s Sad But True….it’s Sad But True…..

But unfortunately, I was too late, and the chorus came around again like a crashing wave on a wiped out surfer….before there’s enough time for air…

“SAD PATROL”

We are dead.  I thought, and gave one last glance towards the bringer of said circumstance.  Ed couldn’t be happier.  Just singing the wrong effing lyrics as the purple vein in ye ole’ biker’s head was approaching explosive proportions.  So I prepared for the worst…..Ed continued singing the worst misinterpretation of song lyrics that I’ve ever heard, and just as I thought the man was gonna bring the hammer down…..on top of Ed’s screaming countenance……the son of a bitch just heaved like a lurching drunkard that’s just realized he’s got alcohol poisoning.  He puked all over the ground right behind us….missing me, but possibly spraying Ed a little. ( not an undeserved fate for singing the lyrics to Sad But True by Metallica as Sad Patrol in front of a guy that probably sold his own airbrushed versions of the Kill Em’ All T-shirts in high school)

OK, It was actually the one below….but man, how creepy is it that they actually sell T-shirts like the one above…..Yowsa!!!

Let’s just say we survived….but as fate would have it…..only after we had to wait for hundreds of other cars parked in the fair grounds to leave as we had forgotten the location of the Mustang.  Thanks Ed….freaking Karma.

Top 5 Misinterpreted Song lyrics of all time:

5)  Blinded by the Light by Manfred Mann

Misinterpretation:

“Blinded by the light, wrapped up like a douche, another boner in the night”

Actual Lyric:

“Blinded by the light, revved up like a deuce, another runner in the night”

4) Purple Haze by Jimi Hendrix

Misinterpretation:

“Scuse’ Me while I kiss this guy….”

Actual Lyric:

“Scuse’ Me while I kiss the sky….”

3) Jet Airliner by the Stever Miller Band

Misinterpretation:

“Bingo Jed Had a Light on”

Actual Lyric:

“Big Ole’ Jet Airliner”

2) Bad Moon Rising by Creedence Clearwater Revival

Misinterpretation:

“there’s a Bathroom on the right”

Actual Lyric:

“there’s a Bad Moon on the Rise”

1) Sad But True by Metallica

Misinterpretation (only by Ed Murphy so far):

“you know it’s Sad Patrol”

Actual Lyric:

“you know it’s Sad But True”

That’s all for today folks.  Feel free to submit your list or favorite misinterpreted songs of all-time…..I’m quite certain I’ve left some out.

I’ll talk at you all again later.

“hey, I’m your life, I’m the one who took you there”