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Today’s Topic: Jughead
Mood Music: Plateau by Meat Puppets
Well, the minds behind Lost obviously understand the pressing nature of wrapping up a show of such grand scope in only 34ish episodes. To say that they’ve hit the ground running this season really wouldn’t justify what we’ve all had the pleasure of experiencing the last 2 weeks. For the detractors out there, please feel free to voice your displeasure, but more appropriately, give us (the loyal and ridiculously devoted) Lost fans, some logical reasons that you aren’t enjoying this display of TV at its very best.
For those of you WOW supporters that are a little perturbed by the emphasis on this blog of a TV show for the last week or so….I have to say, I’m sorry, but this is just something that I must do. I’m gonna try and post a new blog that recaps each episode once a week. I’ll probably ask some loyal supporters and sometimes contributors to do the same occasionally (if I can’t get one done or if I think they might provide better insight into an episode). Let’s all try and get to the bottom of this thing and I sincerely look forward to all your crazy-ass theories, questions, and easter eggs. So for now……Season 5, Episode 3…….Jughead.
I’m gonna treat these episodes as if the island stuff (although not necessarily static) is the main story and everything off island is considered this season’s “Flash Forward or Backward” depending on what year the island has landed. I’m guessing that this dynamic might change as the season progresses, but for now I’m gonna give a synopsis of island goings-on first, and off-island story after that. Confusing….well, just hang in there.
FLASHBACK – 2005 (first scene)
Desmond frantically runs through “Mabuhay” trying to find a Doctor named Efren Salonga. He finds him playing cards and takes him back to his boat. There, Penny is in labor and the Doc helps her give birth to a baby boy.
***we later learn that they’ve named their son, Charlie
ON ISLAND – 1954
Miles, Charlotte, Daniel, and a few redshirts (for the unitiated, redshirts is a term used to define characters that are basically space fillers in an episode…most of the time they don’t speak and frequently, they die) are trying to get to the creek to meet up with the remaining survivors.
***Now, my first reaction when I see 2 actors (redshirts) in a scene….is that something bad is probably about to happen. Inevitably, when people gotta die, it’s gonna be a log-carrying guy, or some such mute character.
Miles notices a trip wire, but it’s too late and the 2 redshirts explode next to the creek as a plume of water and earth (white and black….) shoots into the air.
***Miles is really creeping me out by the way. It’s as if he sensed the trip wire because some dead dude spoke to him as they approached. I just can’t quite figure this guy out. Later in the episode, before they get to the Hostiles’/Others’ camp, he recognizes that they’ve walked over a month old grave of 4 US soldiers. Any thoughts?
Before the 3 survivors have a chance to realize what’s up, a group of folks in army fatigues, armed with bows, quivers, and rifles, step out of the woods and demand to know what happened to the rest of their group. Ellie, the more vocal of the “hostiles” does all the talking…
***is it just me, or was Ellie mildly intriguing as a character? Very interesting accent and extremely take-charge….
Miles gives up Faraday as their “leader” after hypothesizing to Ellie that maybe the other people from their group were blown up by the hostiles’ mines. She shrugs this off and replies that they didn’t put them there, “you did.” They haul Miles, Faraday, and Charlotte off to their camp.
Meanwhile, a few of the other 17 people from the camp (Ellie said there were 20 of them on the beach), Locke, Sawyer, and Juliet are trying to figure out what to do with the assailants they’ve captured. Locke notices that they are carrying an M1 Garand (a rifle dating back to the 40’s) that looks brand new.
***I’m now confident that Locke knows pretty much everything there is to know about anything that’s stereotypically a male infatuation…be it hunting, weaponry, tracking, the art of seduction (ok, maybe not that one, but, hey, I wouldn’t put it past him….he had Peg Bundy just within reach)
This comment gives us a possible idea of the time frame and also reminds us of Locke’s vast knowledge (seriously). Sawyer asks him who shot him, but before he can answer Juliet interrupts and notices that the 2 dudes (Jones and Cunningham for those that were wondering) are speaking “Latin”. How does she know “the Enlightened Language”, Sawyer wonders aloud. Because she (and they) are Others…She convinces Cunningham to take them to their camp, but before they have a chance to get on track, Jones breaks his own comrades’ neck, and flees into the jungle. Dazed, Locke stands there aiming a gun as Sawyer yells for him to fire. Locke doesn’t shoot and when Sawyer asks him why, he replies that it’s because he’s “one of my people”.
***I can’t help but think back to the Locke centric episode from Season 3, Further Instructions, where Locke fails to shoot the cop, Eddie, as he walks away. Locke desperately wants to cover up his mess, but Eddie informs him that he’s a farmer, not a hunter, to Locke’s dismay.
Charlotte, Miles, and Faraday are taken to the Others’ camp…a number of military style tents that are set-up on “the Mesa”.
***for those of you that don’t know, the Mesa is a very popular filming destination for the show. Most importantly, it was actually referred to as “the Mesa” by Ben’s Dad, shortly before Ben killed him in the Dharma van:
The Losties meet Richard Alpert and realize that “the Hostiles/Others” believe that they are part of the US military and have returned to see about their failed hydrogen bomb. Faraday convinces Alpert that they aren’t there on a suicide mission because he’s in love with the woman that’s sitting next to him (Charlotte…whoa). The escapee Jones, runs up and Alpert is not very happy, considering the fact that he might have been followed. Jones takes a shot at Locke by saying that an “old-man” couldn’t track him. In true Lost fashion, we see that Locke, Juliet, and Sawyer have found the camp and are awaiting their entrance on the edge of the woods. Eff you Jonesy. Juliet lets the guys know that “Richard (Alpert) has always been here” and in an answer to Locke’s question, responds that Alpert is “old”.
***Yet another great Lost mystery that honestly has me befuddled…I have no idea what’s up with Alpert…maybe he’s a robot and we’re getting into Terminator territory. Seriously, though…any thoughts on Alpert?
Ellie and Faraday go to inspect the bomb. Ellie, again kinda intriguing I gotta say, tells Faraday that he might have fooled Alpert but she isn’t fooled. She knows that Farady, a Chinese man, and a British woman wouldn’t all be in the US military. (great point considering it was 1954) Before Faraday can convince her, or before she decides to shoot him, Sawyer saves the day.
Locke barges down demanding to see Alpert. The Hostiles are a little perturbed, especially Jones. Locke convinces Alpert that he was sent by Jacob and Jones becomes insensed. Alpert turns to him as Jones won’t pull his weapon off of Locke and yells, “put it down Widmore!!!” DAMN.
***Now, to me this is the best reveal that we’ve gotten in a while. We now know that Widmore was not just on the island, but he was once a member of the Others. Huge!!!
Locke talks to Alpert about how he’s the “leader” of the Others and that Alpert gave him the compass in the future. Alpert tells Locke that they choose their leaders at an early age, and Locke then lets him know that he will be born in 2 years (1956) and that if he doesn’t believe him, he can go see. Locke then tries to find out how to get off the island, which Alpert tells him is privileged information. Before Locke gets the info. though, there is another time shift.
***a few interesting things here: maybe the reason that the Others took the children in Season 1 was to try and see if any of them were potential leaders (young age). We now know that the reason Alpert showed up at Locke’s birth, was because he was told to go by Locke. Wow. We also know that even in 1954, the Others had the ability to get off the island.
After the time shift, Charlotte’s nose starts to bleed profusely, and she falls to the ground. We are left with an image of Faraday holding Charlotte (the woman that he loves) in his arms.
OFF-ISLAND – 2007
Desmond is telling Charlie about a wonderful island that he was on, and we later realize that he’s actually talking about Great Britain. He says that Scotland is where he and his mother fell in love. Des tells Penny that he must go find Faraday’s mother and that he will be done after that. Penny makes him promise that he’ll never go back to the island and he asks her, “why would I ever want to go back there?”
Desmond goes to Oxford to find Faraday’s mom. The receptionist has no recollection of Faraday at all. Des sneaks into Faraday’s old lab and he sees the old chalkboard and mouse maze covered up and dusty. He’s discovered by a man that informs him of the reasons behind the University’s cover up of Daniel’s existence. He tells Des about something that Faraday did to a poor girl.
***a small piece of trivia…the actress that plays the receptionist also played an Oceanic employee that was in charge of the boarding gate for Flight 815…coincidence???
Desmond tracks down Theresa, the woman that Faraday experiemented on and sees that she’s in a coma. We realize that she’s actually in a state similar to Minkowski from the freighter. Her conciousness is jumping through time (apparently without a constant) and it cannot stop. Desmond learns that Widmore has been footing the bills for Theresa’s care, and that he funded Faraday’s research before Faraday fled due to Theresa’s incident.
Des then confronts Widmore at his office. Widmore wants to know that Penny’s ok. Des doesn’t ever answer but he acquires the address of Faraday’s mother in LA. Widmore says that Faraday’s mom is a “very private person” and won’t be happy to see him. He also lets Desmond know that this “business” has been going on for a long time and he wants Des to keep himself and Penny out of it.
Back on the boat, Des tells Penny that it’s done. She realizes that he’ll never forgive himself if he doesn’t go to LA and that he’ll never forget. She says that she and Charlie will go with him.
a few little tidbits and questions for you all
***Jughead was the name of an actual nuclear test in March/April 1954
***the painting in the reception area of Widmore’s office was possibly inspired by the work of Jackson Pollack. Jughead aired on his birthday.
***do you still think that Ms. Hawking is Faraday’s mother?
***what the hell’s up with Faraday? He seems like a pretty selfish dude in his “past” life.
###thanks to lostpedia.com for the trivia info.
great quotes from the episode
“50 years from now, this island is still here” – Faraday to Ellie
“aren’t you the Romeo” – Ellie to Faraday
“hate to bust up the I’m an Other, you’re an Other reunion” – Sawyer to Locke and Juliet
“could be 5 minutes, could also be 5000 years” – Faraday to Miles and Charlotte
“well Gee I didn’t have time to ask that with Frogurt on fire and all” – Sawyer to Locke
“that would be perfect, of course, because rifle fire, right next to, what would you call this, a hydrogen bomb? Yes, fantastic idea, really….inspired” – Faraday to Ellie
“their leader is some sodding old man. What you think he can track me? You think he knows this island better than I do?” – Widmore to Alpert regarding Locke
and last but not least…
overall, I thought this was an incredible episode. It was nice to see the focus on Locke and the gang, as well as Desmond and Penny, and off of the Oceanic 6 for a little while. I’d like to see them lay off the Penny/Desmond love story for a brief period though. It’s probably my favorite relationship on the show and I believe that part of that is due to the fact that they’ve had such minor interaction throughout the show. It would be a shame to get burned out on them. I’m really enjoying the structure of the episodes so far. I think it’s exhilirating trying to figure out what year it might be on the island, and if there might be something of historical significance (island history) going on that they could get into. It’s really very cool. I think it’s impressive that they’ve managed to still make “off-island” scenes feel like flashes, even though they are mostly following a more linear pattern than the island scenes now.
Finally, I can’t wait to see how they get back, how Widmore gets off, how Dharma comes about, what’s up with Alpert, and what in the world Bernard and Rose might have to do with the overall story. Don’t forget them.
I’ll talk at you all again later.
“have some, I dunno, father and son time”
Today’s Topic: Lost….the TV Show
Mood Music: plane-crash by moe.
For those of you that don’t watch Lost I can only say:
“you have NO IDEA what you’re missing”
Seriously.
I know, it’s a convoluted plot, with too many characters, too much time travelling, polar bears, smoke monsters, and the ridiculousness that was Nikki and Paulo (although only true Lost fans will know who those people are since they didn’t appear until Season 3).
That would be the “glass is half-empty” attitude toward Lost.
The “glass is half-full” attitude goes something like:
it’s a convoluted plot, with too many characters, too much time travelling, polar bears, smoke monsters, and the ridiculousness that was Nikki and Paulo.
Folks (non-Lost watchers). Unless you have banned TV from your life completely….or savor your evenings of True Beauty, American Idol, and The Biggest Loser (leaving no time for actual television programs) then please heed the following advice:
Rent the 1st Season of Lost and start to casually watch every episode until you have caught up with Season 5 (if anyone that starts this can “casually” watch…I’d be shocked…I think I blew through Season 1 in about 2 days). I don’t care how you do it. You can rent the DVDs or Blue Rays; you can download the seasons on itunes; you can go to abc.com and watch the episodes for free; either way, to consider yourself even a moderate “fan” of the boob tube….viewing Lost is a MUST.
Here’s the deal:
Next Season will be the 6th and final season of Lost. It is one of the only (if not the only) programs of it’s kind, ever, to end its story arch on the creators’ terms. This means that they are going to finish the story the way it was intended to end, and there will be no X-Files style hangover.
In other words…..Lost is a ”Locke” to be the GREATEST SHOW IN TV HISTORY and it’s not even gonna be close.
As Michael Jordan was to the NBA, Tiger Woods to the PGA Tour, and Herschel Walker to College Football (ok, I threw that one in on my own)…..Lost is and will be so far above and beyond anything on television that I’m pretty certain we will not see another show that’s in the same ballpark in our lifetime.
Now. I said all that to get to this:
I will be rehashing every episode weekly and giving you all my 2-cents. For those of you that don’t watch (please go rent the 1st Season today), don’t worry about reading…unless you want to see what you’re missing. I promise that there will be other blogs despite my recent inactivity.
For those of you that DO watch Lost, I’ve added a LOST DISCUSSION tab at the top of the blog. This page is for any and all comments regarding the show that you feel like posting. If you want to discuss a theory, episode, character, or pose questions that might be answered by the throngs of loyal WOW supporters…have at it. I will do my best to comment as often as possible. Unfortunately, it will be limited to evenings right now.
Check out the LOST DISCUSSION page and I look forward to much debate!!!
I’ll talk at you all again later.
“i think about the Network News to torture myself”
Today’s Topic: Is it possible that Tebow might just step in next week and take over for Obama? I believe that’s all that’s left for him to achieve…except of course, fulfilling the frustrating dreams of men the World over.
Mood Music: Third World Man by Steely Dan
It is said that a picture is worth a thousand words…..despite the fact that we’re all in for billions of words (on top of what’s already been said) regarding Tim Tebow next season, this picture comes close to describing what is going on with the ridiculousness of the media’s reaction to this disciple of Mother Teresa.
Tebow decided to return to Florida for his senior season. You can’t be serious? You mean the guy that has the ability to turn interceptions into circumsized penii….the guy that can leap….well, the guy that can leap into the air when it’s completely unnecessary to throw a pass…..you mean the guy that has a Superman ”S” tatooed on his scrotum because odds are no one will see it until after his football days at Florida are long since done (I can only assume that he’s the type of guy that will be saving himself for his future wife)….you mean the…..wait a minute, what am I talking about? Of course that tatoo’s been seen. I mean, odds are, Urban Meyer, Lee Corso, Gary Danielson, Lou Holtz, Verne Lundquist, Craig James, Todd Blackledge, and plenty of other football analysts have gotten a pretty great view of it while they were down there sucking…..ok, I made all that up, but come on guys….you look like a bunch of real jackasses.
And is anyone actually surprised that Tebow decided to come back to Florida?
Let’s look at this realistically:
- The guy’s gonna suck in the NFL. I would risk my life (ok, maybe I’ll just risk my dignity) that he will not be a successful QB in the NFL. (The scariest thing about that is that he would probably just shrug it off and continue to preach and snip his way towards sainthood)
- This type of lifestyle can’t really continue, can it? I mean, come on man. You’re a 20 year old, 2 time National Champion, Heisman trophy winner, that leaps tall buildings in a…..is faster than a….well…either way, just please take a little advice from a “mere mortal” … in fact take a little advice from all the merely insignificant dudes everywhere (well, I feel significant in my own life…let’s call it taking advice from all the men in the world who would give their left nut to have 1 week in Tebow’s shoes, barring he’s not doing the surgery….ok, we’ll define that week as Sunday to Friday, during Spring Semester before the Spring Game…meaning, I would love the opportunity (in a past life Elle) to spend a week on the University of Florida campus just blousing…browsing my way into adultery…adulthood…whew, what happened? Really though Tim, very few men get the opportunity to have the type of off-field “game” that you have the golden chance to pursue. My God man, don’t blow it!!!
Man, what happened…sorry.
who would’ve ever thought that Tebow would fit the “Superman” metaphor so perfectly?
Funny thing is…he fits the Clark Kent side much more realistically.
As a friend of mine (we’ll call him Jake) and I discussed….it’s only a matter of time (after his march towards sainthood at UF ends) until Tebow’s car is found outside of a crack house with an overweight, oversexed, former star passed out inside with a crack pipe, crack whore, and some buddies that are clinging to his past glory as all of these urges that he suppressed for his first 2o + years come pouring out in one massive binge.
(God, if you’re reading this for some strange reason, I hope the sarcasm is abundantly clear….I would really hate to be struck down because of some … what am I doing?)
You see, the power that Tebow has over the media has even translated into worldwide paranoia amidst those of us that think the mass quantities of studio and press box drool are undeserved.
You know what the best part is? I don’t even mind Tim Tebow. I think that he was deserving of the Heisman trophy 2 years ago. I think that he is a big part of Urban Meyer and UF’s success over the last 3 years (although Chris Leak still doesn’t get enough credit for sticking it out with that arrogant SOB and his sidekick 3 years ago). Let’s just not get ahead of ourselves yet.
I’ve heard some of the aforementioned analysts throw out the much too oft used phrase “best college football player ever” in association with Tebow.
Wow. Not yet guys. Please, put down the small cups. That white stuff inside is not really….it’s going to your heads.
Let me throw out a few names folks:
Archie Griffin, Barry Sanders, Herschel Walker, Bo Jackson, Deion Sanders (and those are just a select few)
Not quite there yet Tim. But good thing you’re coming back this year. We wouldn’t want there to be any doubt among your disciples.
I’ll talk at you all again later.
“he’s been mobilized since dawn, now he’s crouching on the lawn”
Today’s Topic: Farewell John Smoltz…..thanks for the memories…..now beat it you greedy bastard
Mood Music: The Times They are a Changing by Bob Dylan
It’s a cold, hard realization, but unfortunately I’ve come to the conclusion that you can’t expect anything out of athletes these days. I’ll preface the following comments by saying that I obviously have no idea how I would react if large, large sums of money were dumped into my lap before I even had a chance to do anything professionally. Below is the definition of prima donna (as defined by dictionary.com):
prima donna – a temperamental person; a person who takes adulation and privileged treatment as a right and reacts with petulance to criticism or inconvenience
One more definition that pertains to this rant while I’m tossing them out:
loyalty - A feeling or attitude of devoted attachment and affection. Often used in the plural: My loyalties lie with my family (or team).
John Smoltz is a hall-of-fame pitcher. No doubt. John Smoltz pitched for the Atlanta Braves organization from 1987 to 2008. Unbelievable. Wait….what do I mean pitched? Huh? John Smoltz is now a pitcher for the Boston Red Sox. Holy Shit, how in the world could that happen? The Braves really screwed the pooch on that one right? Wrong. Let me give you a little more insight into Smoltz’ career and why I don’t blame the Braves for his departure…I’m just chalking it up to typical prima donna behavior or lack of loyalty. (see the above definitions).
Smoltz will be 42 years old in May. He had bone chips removed from his elbow in 1994. In 1998 and 1999 he missed about a quarter of his starts due to time spent on the DL. He missed the entire 2000 season after having Tommy John surgery. He was ineffective as a starter in 2001 and made the transition to the bullpen. Injuries hampered him a little in 2003 and 2004. His return to the starting rotation in 2005 was a success, but tapered off again after he couldn’t get it done last year. Can you blame the guy? He was 40 effin’ years old.
Here’s the point of all that:
Despite immeasurable (that’s ridiculous as baseball is a statistician’s wet dream) success, John Smoltz is now a 41 year old pitcher who has been hurt on and off since 1998 (10 years folks); the Braves are at a crucial point in franchise history as they are almost barren of any players that were around when the team enjoyed its historical success (meaning they have lost the swagger of a team that exudes confidence from performance); fans are getting restless because nothing of significance has been done in the off-season; and now they fail to keep John Smoltz around because the guy chose to take a better offer from Boston and everyone seems to think that the Braves are complete assholes for letting him walk.
Did I miss something? Please take a look closely (again) at Smoltz’s age, and recent injury bug (5 arm surgeries over his career as well). Now, before you say that a few million dollars is a drop in the bucket for a team to spend to keep a player, ask yourself:
When is enough enough? Honestly. Because the ONLY reason Smoltz would leave Alanta is money. Does he really need any more money? My God. Wait, he wants to play for another championship. Really? He would uproot his family for the chance to have 2 championship rings instead of just 1? Well, that’s selfish on any number of levels. And for those of you that consider it a slap in the face by the Braves, understand this:
The Braves offered Smoltz 2.5 million for the season, with incentives pushing it to over 5 million if he was on the active roster for the first 60 days. 60 days. That’s approx. 12 starts. A season is 162 games. Pretty attainable I’d say (and not an unreasonable expectation by the Braves…if a guy can’t make it 60 days, does he really deserve to make 5+ million a year anyway? Not to mention the fact that they have no idea what they’re getting from Smoltz.) Possible other incentives (including reaching 200 innings) could have pushed his pay to around 12 million for the season…which would surpass the Red Sox’s offer of around 10 million total (if incentives were attained).
Let’s just agree that up front money was the issue. Smoltz was offended by the Braves’ offer and took a better one. Period. I wish him all the best (actually no, no I don’t. I hope the Red Sox tank).
Smoltz is another disappointment in an industry that’s now predicated on money (from the players’ perspective), rather than loyalty or the will to win. Players are now jostling for their time in the spotlight, not out of greed for displaying their skills, but so that they can soak up as much of their “deserved” paycheck in the brief-by-all-standards career of Major League Baseball.
It’s just a massive disappointment when one of the guys that I thought was a stand-up player, proves that he is also susceptible to the ridiculous greed of modern day baseball.
I say Good for the Braves. Take a stand. Players need to realize that whether they’ve played 1 or 20 years, they are still playing baseball for a living. My God. Last week I was caulking cracks in a warehouse floor (and probably making less in that 8 hours of work than Smoltz makes throwing 1 pitch). Seriously. It’s ridiculous.
The other thing that’s unbelievably ridiculous is that Smoltz was offended by the Braves’ offer. Why? Does he deserve a lifetime achievement paycheck? I don’t understand. It’s truly amazing that a baseball team is actually logical about the way they try to spend money on a player (with regards to what they might actually get in return) and he’s pissed because he thinks he deserves better. Get over yourself John. Really.
By the way, Chipper Jones is a great player, one of the best switch hitters ever, but please Chipper….just shut up. I really don’t give a shit what you think about the Smoltz situation. You’re just worried that you’re getting older (and injured almost every year now as well) and they might get rid of you. Well, here’s a piece of advice…get ready, cause it’s coming when you decide that you’ve earned the right to trash an organization that put you on the map. Get over yourself Chipper. Really.
That’s it for today. I can’t wait to hear what you all have to say about the Bravos. Many more thoughts on this to come. I’ll talk at you all again later.
“ your old road is rapidly agin’. Please get out of the new one if you can’t lend your hand for the times they are a-changin’.”
Today’s Topic: Freddy, Jason, Michael Myers….now what?
Mood Music: The Boogie Monster by Gnarls Barkley
This blog is written as a shout-out to the man (and frequent commentor on this blog) that introduced me (and I’m sure plenty of other wide-eyed, pale-skinned, not ready for what the hell they were about to see kids) to horror movies as a form of entertainment…not just inducers of bed-soaking nightmares.
Thanks Matt.
I’m gonna take a flyer on this one:
Remember lying in bed….trying to fall asleep with the lights out….staring at your closet door….maybe listening to the creaks as your old house settled in for the evening….trying to think of happy things….things like daylight, the beach, sports, or pretty much anything that would help to distract your mind from that masked, hulking, deformed figure lying in wait….itching to burst from your single closet….or crash through that window right beside your bed……maybe even just pass swiftly by the insignificant crack of the bedroom door opening?
If any of you haven’t had a late night experience that somewhat mirrors the above description….I’m fairly certain that you’ve never watched a horror movie. Shame on you if that’s the case….well, maybe not shame on you, but man….you don’t know what you’ve been missing (or maybe you do…still, humor me).
For those of you (and I’m still assuming all) that have watched a few scary flicks in your lifetime, I’m sure there’s a moment that clearly defined your opinion of horror movies. You probably still can’t watch them because of that brief 5 minute clip that changed your life forever (you can also name the movie and describe the scene as if it were last night) ….. or ….. that first moment peaked your interest and served as an appetizer for many more horribly awful movies to come.
Let’s just say I fall into the latter category (but it took a little time for me to settle in).
I remember going with a friend (let’s call him Webster) and his father to rent a movie when I was younger. At the time (and I believe that time must’ve been around 1984….wow), I figured we’d be renting something like “Rambo” or “Rocky III” or any other derivation of a Stallone movie. Actually, we were 7 and I know that we spent hours shadow boxing to “Eye of the Tiger” (seriously, who hasn’t? I believe jumping on the bed was involved as well…Survivor had no idea did they? Good for those guys.) so Rocky III was probably already on HBO (which was another massive perk of going to Webster’s house), and odds are we were watching something closer to Gremlins or Popeye (yes, the live action, Robin Williams version, I know).
Anyway, Webster’s Dad knew that I was scared to death of horror movies (well, I think he was probably basing that on my fear of the Incredible Hulk TV show…so looking back, let’s just say he pole-vaulted over the line in his attempt to scare the shit out of me……5 minutes per episode of a big, green, hulking man that growls and occasionally tosses shit and maybe a dude or 2 pales in comparison to a massive SOB wearing a hockey mask that impales people with an absurdly sharp kitchen knife from underneath a mattress…really), so he decided that we would rent Friday the 13th Part IV: The Final Chapter. And so it began…
Now, I know you are wondering why in the hell I’ve chosen to talk about the 4th installment of a franchise that’s had plenty more since and none quite as good as the first. It was on TV last Friday and I found myself engulfed in the absurd surroundings of “Crystal Lake”. It took me back to Webster’s house. Sitting in his lower den, covering my eyes as Jason’s mask is knocked off by Tommy’s sister and my young, easily influenced mind is fucking blown by the sheer horror of the massive “boogeyman’s” deformed face. I can almost still conjure up that sense of exploding fright to this day. Just ridiculous.
I was watching the other night, casually, with my wife (let’s call her Elle) and some friends (we’ll call them Shawna and Kevin) and I couldn’t help wondering why that movie scared me so much when I was young. (Ellen helped further that notion by inevitably voicing her opinion as to the movie’s utter ridiculousness….to which I had no rebuttal) It was an interesting observation as we flipped the channels back and forth from that to the Bama/Utah game. We watched sporadically…and went home.
At about 2:30 am, Sat. morning, I realized why those movies are such classics. Despite not having thought about Friday the 13th Part IV since about 10:00 pm that night, I felt an impending sense of terror as I walked from my darkened den, through the pitch black hallway (feeling my way), and into my bedroom. You ever get that “oh shit, someone could be following me, I think I’ll walk a little faster” feeling when walking past open doorways in the dark? If so, try watching Friday the 13th parts III or IV before going to bed alone. Let’s just say that although you’ll laugh at the ridiculous effects, amazing wardrobe choices, and disbelief in the fact that it’s supposed to “scare” you….it’s not going to be bad effects or clothes that you’re thinking of as you do a little shimmy down the hall to get into your bedroom a little faster. It’s that massively deformed, hockey mask wearing psycho.
That, my friends, is why the Friday the 13th movies (as well as Nightmare on Elm Street and Halloween) have such staying power.
So, here’s my question to you all?
Where’s the next Jason Voorhees? or Freddy Krueger? or Michael Myers?
and/or
what’s your indelible horror movie memory? (by the way…this isn’t the last that you’ll hear on this subject…as a minor warning)
I’ll talk at you all again later.
“i got a monster in my closet, someone’s underneath my bed, the wind’s knocking at my window, I’d kill it but it’s already dead”
Today’s Topic: Happy New Year!!!
Mood Music: New Year’s Day by U2
I hope all of you WOW supporters (loyal readers and such…for those that have hung around despite the post drought….we’ll call it a post-election hangover…or maybe just a much needed rest from the rants)..anyway…I hope you all had a great Christmas and are having a Happy New Year!!!
I briefly wanted to thank you all for your continued patience and loyalty as readers, commentors, sometimes contributors, and all-around great folks. So for those that read but decide not to comment….THANKS; for those that comment….I want to thank the following (and I quote):
Ellen, Ayden, Jenks, Margo, Dad, Brooke, Brien, Allen, Paul E., Stan, Jake, Bish, Mitch, Brannon, John, Don, Meredith, Ed, Kristen, Kelda, Phil, Todd, Cindy, Jeff, James, Sarah, Josh, Colleen, Kevin, Mrs. G, Howard, Kerry, and Jasmine (ha)…
Thanks again (don’t forget to check in daily) and here’s to a great 2009!!!!
I’ll talk at you all again later.
“I, I will begin again, I, I will begin again….oh, maybe the time is right, oh, maybe tonight”
