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Today’s Topic: When’s the last time you actually jumped off a diving board (and where was it)?
Mood Music: Foam by Phish
So….I’ve been meaning to write this post for awhile…..just never got around to it. I didn’t realize how much less time I’d have to write once College Football Season started. I know, that’s blasphemous to all you non-sports fans, but it’s the truth.
After the post on the Outing Club in Aiken, I started thinking, “when was the last time I actually jumped off a diving board…..and where in the hell was it?” Unfortunately (and a truth that’s a tad bit unsettling), I couldn’t remember. So, I figured that I’d ask you all. The collective World of Willo readers. Feel free to comment below and since I don’t remember the last time I jumped off a diving board, let me share a few of the more memorable diving board maneuvers and/or incidents from my youth (as well as my list of the greatest diving boards that I “can” remember). Enjoy.
No More Spank-the-Baby for this guy
You’ve all witnessed it. A lot of you have probably experienced it. A few of you (those that never really understood the idea of “learning from your mistakes”) might have even experienced it more than once…….the dreaded BACK SCRAPE from trying a spank-the-baby and landing too far on the edge of the diving board. Thanks to Don for conjuring this memory for me. I had completely forgotten the art of the STB dive (let’s not fool ourselves….it was not even remotely a dive…..really just a ridiculous opportunity to a-smash your nuts on the diving board or b-scrape the living shit out of your legs and back if performed incorrectly) I’d like to somehow travel back in time to witness the redneck that actually attempted this for the first time and succeeded. I have a feeling that cut-off jeans, a six-pack of Old Milwaukee (ok, a case) and some palm reddening high-fives were prevalent on said day. I’d hate to be the sad bastard that followed up the first dude and proceeded to land, right leg first, on his testicles, only to also scrape his left inner thigh in the course of one attempt. He was cursing “Johnny-ass-spanker” for quite awhile I’m sure. (if you’re having trouble imagining an STB “dive”, here’s a You-Tube clip to show you what I’ve been talking about–by the way, there’s a good chance this is the original JAS. Just like old times, you never know).
Did he really just hit his…..oh shit, no more flips for me
Some of you aren’t old enough to remember this. Hell, I barely do. For those that have no clue who in the hell Greg Louganis is…..watch the clip below. WAIT….for those of you that still actually use diving boards, you might want to watch this clip after you call it a career. This will definitely slow down any momentum you still possess….it’s not for the faint of heart….(I had never seen the 2nd part before watching this clip…wow)
Hi-yo! That still makes my stomach lurch.
SWAN DIVE
The absolute….and I mean absolute funniest diving board incident I’ve ever been privvy to, was right in my own backyard. I was pretty young, maybe 10 to 12ish. My cousins (we’ll call them Anna, Joel, and Stephens) were over at the house. All 3 of them were a few years older than me, with Stephens being the oldest. We were screwing around, maybe contemplating a STB or two, and quite possibly learning to get from pool to diving board without roasting our feet on the brick colored pavement that surrounded the pool. Yes, the previous owners (for what reason I’m not sure) decided to paint the concrete surrounding the swimming pool a fire-engine red. You know what that does when it hits 100 degrees in the summer? Exactly. It bakes like a freaking oven. You could literally watch water evaporate directly from the surface in a wave of heat. On to the ”swan dive”. Stephens was a helluva good diver. His dive of choice…….the aforementioned swan.
Now. Keep that in mind as I tell the rest of the story. Joel was in the pool, and I was walking around the lava rock surface of the concrete to take my turn on the diving board as soon as Stephens was through. I jumped on the grass to soothe the 3rd degree burns on my soles all the while keeping my eyes on him because I knew that he would rip off some sick dive. Joel was actually standing in the shallow end and playing with one of those really thin foam rafts. Do you remember the ones I’m talking about? They had a curled end that formed a kind of pillow or headrest when you laid on em’. Pretty solid really, but not thick at all and probably comprised of ridiculously toxic foam and other shit. Something made it float. Anyway, they were sturdy to say the least. Here’s a float catalog’s example:
(I’m sorry I couldn’t find a picture of the damn float without someone on it…I think you get the idea though)
I awaited the “dive”. Stephens approached the board and stepped up. He took a deep breath and announced to those of us as he trotted towards the edge of the diving board, “SWAN DIVE”…..and he was in the air. He looked towards the sky as his hands rose in the Swan position, readying for his descent. Unbeknownst to Stephens, Joel gave the “toxic” raft just the slightest little nudge from the shallow end. I was enthralled. My eyes darted from cousin to raft, raft to cousin and I thought to myself, “My God, he doesn’t see it” and I knew that trouble was only seconds away. I don’t know that even Joel realized the precision with which he had timed his push. The raft inched its way underneath Stephens like a well-intentioned firemen’s net as a victim is urged to jump from a burning building. And then came the moment that I will never forget, and I swear that every time I think of it, I start to laugh my ass off, period. The look on Stephens’ face as he turned downward to enter the water and noticed the thin layer of foam between his outstretched hands and the water was priceless. I’ve never seen a person contort so grotesquely to try and maneuver their way out of an unavoidable collision. Man, did he try. When he hit the raft, hands first in the diving position (again, he was a helluva good diver) the weight of the rest of his body just crumpled onto that floating piece of miracle foam and I don’t know that he ever actually touched the water. It was and is the funniest thing I’ve ever seen. Period.
Now. My list of the greatest diving boards this world (well Aiken at least) has ever known.
5) Westcliffe Pool – this one was one of those boards that had ridiculous bounce. It was long, floppy, and pretty damn high. How it didn’t break I’ll never know.
4) Highland Park Pool – also a bouncy SOB. This one was slightly higher and just a tad bit longer. When you timed your jump just right, it was the closest thing to flying that you could achieve at 6.
3) Houndslake Pool – I know, I know, this is a virtual “who’s, who” of Pools around Aiken, but so be it. Feel free to comment if you’ve got one you like that was better. This board actually scared me a little when I was young and that was hard to do. It was much higher than the previous 2, and there were always a significant number of girls and older dudes watching each attempt. Nerve-wracking.
2) Outing Club #2 – this was the oft-forgotten diving board by the old slide. It was long, floppy, and catapulted you into the worst pond-scum imaginable. Oh the memories.
1) Outing Club #1 – the aforementioned “High Dive”. Quite possibly the greatest diving board to ever man the Aiken swimming scene. It struck fear into the best of em’ (even if it was that fleeting concern of a stump in the water below). Once you committed to jumping off, it was a long way down, and not very fun if you weren’t right-side-up. It wins my vote, hands down.
I wanna know what I’ve left out…any pool stories you might have…..the greatest diving board you’ve ever witnessed….etc. Thanks for letting me rant, as usual. I’ll talk at you all again later.
“but the foam keeps getting thicker, and it just keeps getting harder, and I’m faaaaaaaaalling into a deep well”
Today’s Topic: Here’s where I tell you to stop dreaming and appreciate what you’ve got RIGHT NOW!!!
Mood Music: Waiting for My Real Life to Begin by Colin Hay
I’ve yet to give any real “sage” advice on this blog. Maybe some of you have savored a few nuggets here or there, but nothing life changing I’m sure. This is where I take a day to get a little serious and let you all know that everything’s gonna be alright, no matter what you may think about the state of your life RIGHT NOW!!!
I was laid off last November. I’ve been lucky to stay temporarily employed for the past year, but it’s made for an interesting 11+ months to say the least. My wife (let’s call her Ellen) and my family (we’ll call them, Mark, Vicky, Margaret, Jenks, and Ayden) have been unimaginably supportive and I’ve somehow maintained my sanity while the job market continues it’s rapid descent towards “well, it looks like you have a background in construction, why the hell are you interviewing here”. It’s just the world’s way of telling me to slow the eff down and take inventory on what I’ve got at home. You think I’ve lost it, I know. But seriously, think about how often you actually stop and appreciate the things you actually HAVE, rather than constantly working for shit you DON’T HAVE…………………..ahh.
You see, I’ve got a beautiful, smart, gracious, thoughtful, inquisitive, observant, emotional, supportive (did I say that already), trusting, patient, loving wife at home (and a helluva good cook…couldn’t resist, sorry). I’ve got a handsome, smart, gracious, thoughtful, inquisitive, observant, emotional, supportive, trusting, patient, loving dog at home ( I know what you’re thinking and no he doesn’t cook, but sometimes I think they also look alike…..check out the picture below and decide for yourself) I promise I’m not losing my mind. I’ve got a house, albeit houses can sometimes be massively overrated other than the roof over your head, place to sleep aspects. (the water, power, cable, phone, gas bills, etc….just never end do they?) I’ve got a family that loves to hang out together and that alone is something that seems more and more rare these days…Not to mention the fact that all of my siblings also live in Charlotte. I think that we all take it for granted how lucky we are to have the opportunity to see each other on a (daily/weekly/monthly) basis. Most people have to travel significant distances just to see their siblings or parents. Speaking of parents, they too could not be more supportive of me and my siblings. They never cease to amaze me with their thoughtfulness, graciousness, and patience in all of our daily lives.
I have to take the time to say ”Thank you Mom and Dad for everything you do. We can never show enough gratitude for the things you have done and the adults we’ve become due to your incredible parenting prowess. Seriously. Thanks.”
I can’t tell you all how many times I’ve wondered to myself, “when is it gonna break?” I mean, I’m a good person, I’m a hard worker, it will happen soon, I’m sure. You wanna know what I’ve learned?
Relax. It’s not worth the stress. All of this shit is out of my control. It will work itself out.
Don’t get me wrong, I still apply to any relevant job I find, I’m actively pursuing a career, and still working a Temp job to pay the bills ( I AM NOT SAYING TO JUST SIT ON YOUR ASS HOPING SOMETHING DROPS FROM THE SKY)…what I am saying is that I’ve realized over the past few years that there’s so much more to life than working your ass off at some shitty job because you’re making a little more money, if you know what I mean.
How many of you are infatuated with finding a husband or wife? Really. I have a pretty secure feeling that if you take your mind off it for a while and spend time with your family, friends, pets (w/out those background thoughts of “maybe I’ll run into someone while I’m here”) – you’ll see that it’s not so out of reach. Stop pressing. Let it happen. Either way, you’re missing out on so much quality time that you could be spending with your family or your friends because of your obsession with the idea of having to be married by the age of 32 or 35 or 40 or 60.
How many of you “married folks” are stressed about the idea of having kids? Why? If you want to have children then hopefully everything will work out when you start to try. If you physically can’t have children, adoption is always a viable option (I hear it works sometimes, you know). If you’re undecided as to whether or not you want children, let me just say that some of the greatest people I’ve ever known don’t have children. Unless their happiness is a complete farce, I will vouche for them here.
Told you they “favored” each other. This picture is a perfect example of the simple things in life that bring me utter and irreplaceable joy.
Now, for those that are unemployed, or single, or retiring, or working some shitty job, or stuck in a crappy relationship, or looking for a crappy relationship, or looking for some shitty job, or in school, or simply trying to figure out what in the hell to do with your life……….here are a few things that might lighten it up a little while you’re trying to figure it all out (a little decompression activity):
- try and remember what kind of music you listened to during some of the more memorable times in your life …. or maybe try and remember some of the music you used to love that you haven’t thought about in years …. dig it up and give it a spin. You’d be shocked at the memories it will conjure. Trust me, I listened to Mayonnaise by the Smashing Pumpkins the other day and it reminded me of a time when I was dating this girl (we’ll call her Ellen) and she ditched me to go to the movies with another guy (let’s call him Buff…in fact, his name was Buff…ok, ok, his real name was Buffington, but “they” called him Buff…Good God…that memory alone makes me laugh….what a stupid name….no offense if your name’s Buff, well, offense). I actually bought a ticket to the movie (said movie was “The Man Without a Face” starring Mel Gibson….I believe at one point I completely forgot why I entered the theater…I was just staring, dumbfounded at the colossally terrible display playing out on the big screen. Easily Mel’s worst. Easily.) Long story short, the irony was lost on me as I left the theater after confirming my assumptions upon seeing the “back of a dude’s head” alongside Ellen’s. Following my pattern of “adolescent rebelliousness”, I proceeded to spit on Ellen’s car window and drive around in a friend’s Jeep (we’ll call him Stan) blaring the above song at a “fever pitch”. (I told you I was rebellious. Man.) I still feel bad about the spitting part, but it’s fun to laugh with Ellen now about that time in our lives.
I wonder what Buff is doing these days? (not really but damn Mayonnaise is a great song!!!)
- watch a movie that you used to absolutely love growing up…one you haven’t seen in forever (I’m guessing you’ve got a few you bought years ago that have yet to see the inside of your DVD player)!!! Back to the Future was on the other day. I don’t know about you all, but there was a brief period of time in my life (let’s call it a monthish) where I was fairly obsessed with everything “Back to the Future”. I wanted to ride in a DeLorean, I wanted a skateboard with the “radioactivity” symbol on the bottom, I wanted to ride it while holding onto a car bumper, I listened to the Power of Love by Huey Lewis and the News upwards of 2 million times and learned to play it on the piano in our living room (somehow it lost a little luster without the crunching guitar riffs…ok they were “crunching” in 85′), I wanted to wear a red, down vest w/ a flannelish shirt, jeans, and high-tops (might have pulled that look off) ….. anything I’m missing? What a movie.
and finally, for those days when you are unable to effectively commune with the world at large…
- get on the damn computer and start a Facebook account….seriously
It still amazes me every time someone new asks to be my friend on Facebook. I mean, I have communicated with people over the past year that I haven’t even thought about in over 10 years. I know, I know, I’m a little old to be “Facebooking” right? Hell NO! You got that girl (or guy) that you’ve been wondering about for the last 5 or so years. Odds are, they have a FB page. What about that crazy ass dude from college that you haven’t seen, spoken to, or heard from since graduation? Odds are, again, FB page. In fact, I highly recommend setting up an account as soon as you finish reading this. If you don’t have one yet, I look forward to hearing your comments next week after a weekend of updating your “Friends” section with dozens of folks that were lost in your collective memory. Good Luck and enjoy.
If any of you have any good “Decompression” activities, time passers, things to get your minds off work, relationships, etc……please let us all know below……and again, I’ll talk at you all again later.
“don’t you understand….I already have a plan….I’m waiting for my real life to begin”
Today’s Topic: Some of my favorite movie posters
Mood Music: Saturday Night at the Movies by the Drifters
I figured that I would try and get away from the constant barrage of “Sports Talk” that all of you non-sports fans have kindly endured over the last week or so. I decided to keep it light today and provide an array of memorable movie posters that I hadn’t thought about in years. A few might be more recent, but most of them are from the 80’s and 90’s. These are the posters that are engrained in my memories. When I think of the excitement derived from such a simple marketing/art/creative medium, it takes me back to a time when movies seemed to mean so much more to me. Just looking at some of these posters brings back that feeling of sheer elation that I experienced standing outside the Cinema Triple in Aiken and looking at the Coming Soon glass cases. Enjoy!!!
Let me know if I missed any. I’ll talk at you all again later.
“saturday night at the movies, who cares what picture you see”
Today’s Topic: The resignation of Tommy Bowden and what happens now
Mood Music: Drink the Water by Jack Johnson
I’m gonna start today’s blog off with a quote regarding former Clemson Coach Tommy Bowden. You try and guess who it is that I’m quoting (pieces from a statement)…..
“it’s what he deserved……there were things that I disagreed with……..Dabo Swinney is a fine man and he will do an excellent job……I guess one thing I can say is he (Bowden) gave me an opportunity to come to Clemson and play”
Congratulations Tiger fans, that’s your “former” starting QB, Cullen Harper. What a piece of shit. You’re damn right he gave you the opportunity. He should’ve benched your ass weeks ago. In my opinion, any jackass that disrespects a former coach in such a manner, should not only be booted off the team, but preferably by some very large Offensive Linemen with anger management issues. But wait, it doesn’t stop there……here’s what Harper’s Dad had to say about Bowden……
“I’d call it karma.”
Wow. Karma’s a bitch, right? Now, do you think that the comments from those 2 guys might have a little something to do with the fact that Harper was benched in favor of highly touted redshirt freshman Willy Korn this weekend? If I was a betting man…..
What a punk. Harper and Harper…..you both suck. Have fun selling cars, or, if you’re really lucky, backing up back-up Jared Lorenzen in NY.
One more tiny rant about the attitudes of the Clemson players. Running Back CJ Spiller was quoted as saying that Bowden let Offensive Coordinator Rod Spence run the show and they “got away from me and James (Davis)”. Don’t get me wrong, Spiller and Davis are great players, but they haven’t necessarily lived up to the “nations best duo in the backfield” billing that continues to follow them. In fact, they are the predominent reason for the losses in Atlanta and at Wake. And please, enough with the offensive line excuses, that’s just not good enough. What I’ve seen, and a lot of Clemson fans might be apalled at this notion, is that Davis and Spiller aren’t the most gifted backs when it comes to “hitting the holes” provided by the offensive line…..or when no holes are there to be found, finding their own. Trust me, as a UGA fan watching an offensive line playing with their 4th left tackle, I know what it looks like for a young line to struggle, but Moreno’s still getting his yards. I know it’s the Head Coaches’ job to keep his players focused, but in all honesty, I don’t think a lot of the Tiger players give a rat’s ass. It just seems to me like they are playing to make it through the season without serious injury and hoping (for those with a shot) that they will be drafted. Maybe it will change under Swinney’s tutelage…….
Now, on to the issue of Bowden’s resignation and the departure of Offensive Coordinator Spence and the interim duties of Dabo Swinney (I’m sorry but…ok more on that in a sec)…….
I thought that Bowden did an admirable job of bringing respect and a winning tradition back to the University of Clemson. It was evident no more than 5 years into his tenure though, that he didn’t have what it took to lead the Tigers to an ACC Championship. On one hand, I respected Clemson for giving Bowden the opportunity to build “his” program and run it the way that he thought it should be run. The problem with that was that he took Clemson from a smashmouth, defensively menacing, run-first…then run some more, football team to a smaller and quicker offensive line based, spread offense, gimmicky, soft defensive team, that just didn’t respond well to being smacked at the line of scrimmage by a bully. It seemed like every time Bowden’s Tigers had the chance to run away with the ACC, they just folded against crappy opponents. Played down to the competition, right? Well, someone please tell me when they actually played up to their competition in a game that mattered. Again, Bowden did a respectable job, the program needed to take the next step, and for whatever reason (I’m sure Bowden’s ability to spin the 2nd half of a season had something to do with it) they kept plugging along with Tommy at the helm. The recruiting classes seemed to get better, but the results were the same. If I were a Clemson fan right now, I’d be asking for the head of a Mr. Terry Don Phillips as well. Get some balls dude. He basically allowed the fans to run Bowden out of town because he didn’t have the backbone to do it after last season. Nice job.
As far as the future of the program, it looks like Dabo Swinney has the approval of the players. Uh-oh. The ultimate kiss-of-death (especially from the mouth of the head coaching prognosticator Cullen Harper) . I believe that Bill Stewart was given the Head Coaching job at West Virginia this year, after being endorsed by the players. They are actually in worse shape than Clemson. Not the best way to go. I’m telling you, if you’re a die-hard Tiger fan, I’d look at ridding the program of Mr. Phillips if he decides to hire Swinney. I’m 100% sure that it’s NOT the right direction for their program.
So what is the right direction?
That’s a tough one…..and there are many, many different answers. I will toss out my 2 cents, but it’s still very early in the season and a lot of factors will determine the future of all of these prospects. Some names on the rumor mill:
Bobby Johnson – Head Coach – Vanderbilt - my opinion is that he is in the perfect spot. I know that some of you will find that hard to believe, but the guy’s not getting any younger and he’s done an outstanding job at Vandy. Why not leave his legacy there and retire.
Jim Grobe – Head Coach – Wake Forest - don’t do it. Clemson doesn’t need another gimmicky coach. No offense to Grobe and Deacon fans (he’s done an incredible job at Wake), but Clemson’s just ridding their program from “smoke and mirrors” style football. I think it’s time to get back to playing defense and running the ball.
Tommy Tuberville – Head Coach – Auburn - Now. there are a ton of variables involved in this pick, but if Auburn keeps struggling…….don’t forget that the “powers that be” interviewed Bobby Petrino behind Tuberville’s back a few years ago. Let’s just say, with enough $$$$$ thrown in, I don’t think it would be too difficult to pull him out of the Plains. In my opinion, this would be the perfect man for the job. Time will tell if it’s just a pipe dream.
Will Muschamp – Defensive Coordinator – Texas - Not a bad choice. I don’t know if I’d go with an unproven Head Coach though. Sometimes it works out. Usually, it’s offensive minded guys. Very rarely do you see D-Coordinators make the jump to Head Coaching successfully. Bob Stoops is the best example, but let’s not forget about Chuck Amato and Brian Van Gorder.
Let me know what you all think. Clemson fans, College Football fans, residents of South Carolina, Bowden family members, chime in. I wanna know what the community thinks about this stuff. I’ll talk at you all again later.
“it’s just one of those bad days, look outside and be careful what you ride, you just might find that you’re out of time to swim ashore…..if I drift long enough, I’ll be Home”
Today’s Topic: Analysis of the College Football Season so far
Mood Music: Numb/Encore by Jay-Z and Linkin Park
“Thank you, thank you, thank you, you’re far too kind”
I know I have taken it easy while assessing the College Football Season thus far, but why rush to judgement, right? Well, for those of you that haven’t noticed, one of the angles that I like to follow while writing about College Football is the lack of respect I have for those in the media and their opinions. Therefore, I give you my opinions of what’s going on and why I disagree with the “Talking Heads”. The kindness ends here, so hold on tight while I give you my unabated assessment of the Season so far:
Biggest Disappointments
“when you first come in the game they try to play you”
If you look at my original Pre-Season Poll compared to the Poll I updated last week, you’ll notice that 1 team has fallen farther than anyone else:
The Clemson Tigers have been the Biggest Disappointment this season BY FAR!!!!! What the hell is going on in Clemson? I tried to tell all the Clemson fans, that despite my opinion they would beat Alabama, the outcome of that game would have no bearing on their opportunity to play for an ACC Championship. (Of course, who could’ve known how good Alabama would be, and how badly they would whip the Tigers–and dawgs…. Yowsa!!!) Either way, Clemson still had a full ACC schedule ahead of them and it was essential for them to bounce back. Just when it looked like they would roll into their meeting with Wake Forest on October 9th, along came the 2nd half against Maryland…in Death Valley no less. How in the world did Clemson get shut down in the 2nd half after rolling on the ground throughout the 1st half? I don’t have the answer, but I know this: Tommy Bowden should’ve been fired as soon as the clock hit 0:00. I thought he should’ve been fired 5+ years ago. If Clemson ever hopes to turn their program into an ACC Championship contender, it will have to be with another coach. Bowden is just not cutting it. (Hopefully, he’ll prove me wrong and they’ll end up turning this season around…somehow I doubt it)
Other disappointments so far this season: Ohio State (no way they deserve to get a shot at the National Title after the egg they laid in LA – wow); USC (how in the World does the supposed “best team ever” lose at Oregon State?); West Virginia (I thought that they would glide through the Big East this year with an outside shot at the National Championship game); Rutgers (whoa how bad have they been this year? I didn’t see that coming at all)
Biggest Surprises
“then you drop a couple of hits, look how they wave to you”
What about those Vanderbilt Commodores? How about the Northwestern Wildcats? the Duke Blue Devils? or even the Rice Owls? As Pat Forde said in the article I’ve linked below, “these schools put the student back in student-athlete”. Damn right they do, and they’re also playing pretty damn good football this season. Unbelievable. (by the way, check out who’s #1 in the academically twisted Top 25 — Talk about biggest Surprises)
http://sports.espn.go.com/espn/columns/story?columnist=forde_pat&page=dash0805&sportCat=ncf
Of all these teams, Vanderbilt has to be the Biggest Surprise so far. This article was written before they beat Auburn this past weekend. The Commodores are 5-0 this year, and that includes a 3-0 mark in the SEC. They are leading the SEC East as of 10/7/08. They have not been to a bowl since 1982…they haven’t won a bowl since 1955. If they beat Mississippi State this weekend (which is probable)…they will be BOWL ELIGIBLE and heading to Athens 6-0 and possibly ranked in the Top Ten. Wow.
Other Surprising Teams so far: Alabama (who knew John Parker Wilson could throw the ball?); UNC (as much as I don’t want to admit it, the Tarheels are playing great football–now if an ACC Coastal Division team could just figure out how to beat Virginia Tech); Penn State (who knew Joe Paterno would coach so well from the press box); Georgia Tech (I’ve never seen 1 receiver account for all the receiving yards and TDs in 1 game, wow)
“what the hell are you waiting for?”
Let’s get down to the shit that’s driving me crazy about the biased media and College Football today:
- USC and Ohio State need to be banished from the National Title discussion until all the contenders in the Big 12 and SEC lose 2 games – how in the world has the media already forgotten the 35-3 blowout of Ohio State by USC? how in the world has the media already forgotten about USC’s loss to an unranked Oregon State (they were down 21-0 at halftime)? Please don’t buy into the discussion that Ohio State is a different team with Wells and Pryor. Tough shit. Should’ve had them on the field against USC. Oh wait, Pryor did play and Wells had a toe “issue”. Sorry Buckeyes….a loss is a loss and in my opinion, there’s no bouncing back from a 32 point beatdown by a team that followed that win up with a loss at Corvallis. Oh yeah, speaking of Corvallis…..how in the effin’ hell is USC the top ranked 1 loss team in the country? Someone please, please explain this to me. They lost to an unranked team and were down 21-0 at the half. Georgia lost to an Alabama team that is now ranked #2 in the country (and outscored them 30-10 in the 2nd half). There is no way USC should be in the Top Ten right now. Absolutely no way. Much less ahead of an undefeated BYU team.
Speaking of BYU….
-I am so effin’ tired of the way Media “Talking Heads” and voters establish their Top 25 teams – How in the world is Vanderbilt (an undefeated SEC team with 2 wins over top 25 teams mind you) ranked below an undefeated BYU? – this just goes to show you the hypocrisy in College Football today. Everyone talks about how strong the SEC is as a conference, yet the assumption that Vanderbilt will come back down to Earth keeps them from being ranked where they should be. Rank them where they deserve to be ranked because of their accomplishments, and then ( I know I’m an outsider for thinking this)….and then…..if they lose……drop them in the rankings. Huh? You mean if a team wins you move them up, and if they lose you move them down? You don’t just rank them lower to start because you think they might lose? or move them up because they might have better talent? astonishing. What did talent get USC in Corvallis? A first half ass-kicking.
-Until someone in the Coastal Division of the ACC beats Virginia Tech…yes I’m talking to you Tarheel and Ramblin’ Wreck fans….please, please shut up - Georgia Tech and UNC are great stories this season. They are both listed in my Surprise teams above….here’s 1 thing that has annoyed the shit out of me about said teams though….their fans are chirping their asses off about being “back” and how they will contend for an ACC Championship before you know it or perhaps, perhaps, (if the stars align and VA Tech leaves the ACC) a National Championship…hah. Like I said above, please stop talking until you can beat the Hokies. VA Tech has been both a disappointment and a surprise this season. After losing to East Carolina, they’ve gone 5-0 including wins over Georgia Tech, UNC, and Nebraska…solidifying their position as the team to beat in the ACC…..again.
- Is it possible for anyone at ESPN to ever admit when they’re wrong? - a few things that they refuse to concede:
USC, Ohio State, Notre Dame being overrated and still overexposed…these 3 teams should be left out of the National Championship picture unless all hell breaks loose;
they missed the boat on the Knowshon Moreno clip…….I heard Rece Davis still taking shots at Mark Richt a week ago for “chastizing” ESPN when they missed the “Moreno Leap” clip on the highlights the 2nd week of the season. (Doug Flutie and Robert Smith have thrown a couple sucker punches too) Guys, a reporter asked Richt is he was surprised that Sportscenter didn’t show the highlight…his answer….yes. Get over it.
Teams like Texas Tech and Oklahoma State are nice stories, but cmon…..I am so tired of teams like Texas Tech and Oklahoma State shooting up the rankings every year and then getting creamed by a pretty good team from a great conference or losing 4 of their last 5 or 6 games because the competition amps up. The spread offense is nice, but when a team comes in and is able to get a pass rush with 3 D-linemen, while leaving everyone else to pass protect, the Red Raiders and Cowboys just don’t have an answer. Oh yeah, and the last time I checked, you have to play defense to actually have a chance to win your conference.
Get both sides to a story before running it ….Chase Daniels comes out and says he was spit on by a Nebraska player…..my first comment is…so what you *&^sy, get some nuts….it’s just spit. My God. My next reaction is, “how in the world does ESPN or any other Sports Medium run this one-sided BS without finding out why or how it happened?” My guess is that Daniel probably laid out a few choice words to entice said expectoration. Bo Pelini said he was looking into it but his guess was that there was more to the story. I agree. What do you think?
Finally, if there’s 1 thing that I’m screaming at the top of my lungs to see abolished before season’s end it’s………..
DR. LOU, DR. LOU……DR. LOU, DR. LOU – We talked briefly about the dumb things ESPN has done over the years. This takes the cake. It is easily the worst idea they’ve ever had (by the way, the mock debate/courtroom appeal/closing arguments on Gameday final where Rece Davis makes a decision based on Lou Holtz and Mark May’s opinions on a subject is probably the 2nd worst thing they’ve done) Thanks Lou, I think I’m gonna heed my own advice and turn the channel.
THAT’S IT FOR MY ALMOST-MID-SEASON UPDATE. SORRY FOR NO I-AA TALK, BUT IT DOESN’T GET REAL INTERESTING UNTIL LATER IN THE SEASON. THE BENEFIT OR DOWNSIDE OF A PLAYOFF SYSTEM. NO REAL SURPRISES YET LOCALLY, THOUGH.
LET ME HEAR WHAT YOU ALL THINK ABOUT THE SEASON SO FAR….YOUR SURPRISES, DISAPPOINTMENTS…..THINGS YOU HOPE TO SEE THE REST OF THE YEAR….ETC…..AND I’LL TALK AT YOU ALL AGAIN LATER!!!
“i’ve become so numb I can’t feel you there, I’ve become so tired, so much more aware, I’m becoming this all I want to do, is be more like me and be less like you”
Today’s Topic: The amazing “High Dive” at the Outing Club in Aiken, SC (or fun shit that we did as kids that is no longer possible because of the ridiculous nature of Jackass parents)
Mood Music: Life by the Drop by Stevie Ray Vaughan
We’ve all got those places from our childhood that never fully leave the alcoves of our minds. You know the places I’m talking about. Those places or times in your life that brought you endless joy…the kind of joy that isn’t fully appreciated until you see it sapped from future generations because of lazy parenting or selfish non-parenting. I’ll save the diatribe for later, first, let me take you to one of those places that I’ll always remember for the way it was, and not the way it is…
It’s called “the Outing Club”. Yes, it still exists, but in my opinion, it’s a shadow of the former enigmatic childhood haunt that we grew up loving. For some reason, it always felt like such a bad idea until you got there….and realized that you had a tennis ball in the back of the car, a minnow net, and a cooler full of Capri Suns. Talk about the simpler things in life.
You see, the Outing Club is an old pond in Aiken, SC that is privately owned and shared by dozens of members as a “gathering” spot of sorts. There’s an old house (that has been upfitted to host parties and other social meetings)…as well as other various dilapidated buildings strewn across the property. An overgrown tennis court houses ample memories from countless childhoods. All of these things, although substantially older, maintain the same feel as they did when I was much younger….there is 1 thing about the Outing Club that has changed drastically, and it was the main reason we all got so amped up when the station wagon started down that gravel drive towards the sensational swimming hole.
There is no longer a “High Dive”!!!!!
So, now you’re wondering what in the world a tennis ball and minnow net; Capri Suns and a “High Dive” (whatever it is) have in common right? Well, let’s just say that the combination of those 4 totally unrelated (Clue-like) items had the near unthinkable power of entertaining several kids (ranging in age from 3-ish to 12+ish) for days. Seriously.
You see, the pond at the Outing Club could be entered from a small beach at the water’s edge. Let’s call that area the “shallow end” of the pond. For the most part a young child (with “swimmies” of course or a vest-like apparatus that housed a floating tube that fit like a clown’s rodeo barrel over some poor 3 year old…oh sorry Margo!!!) could enjoy their day in the shallow end by swimming and using a minnow net to catch thousands of baby fish or tadpoles. The shallow end of the Outing Club spawned some of the largest tadpoles that I’ve ever seen in my life. No joke. Just massive ass frog babies. Hours of entertainment nonetheless for youngsters.
A concrete walkway (that seemed to literally hover over the water when you were too young to understand the constructive concept of a sidewalk in the middle of a pond) separated the “shallow end” from the deep end and let’s just say that once you became old enough to cross that line, the possibilities were endless. Endless and way…way…beyond exciting. Just flat out exhilirating to say the least. You see….on the other side of that “floating” sidewalk was one of the greatest man-made objects that I’ve ever had the sheer honor of experiencing….
We called it the “High-Dive”. Simple right? Well, it was to an extent. It was a 2-story dock out in the deeper end of the pond that was built above the water just enough to require a ladder to climb onto the first level. It was painted green (like most of the wooden objects that endured days and days of rain throughout the year–I’m not overlooking the see-saws or merry-go-round or swings for all the grizzled Outing Club vets wondering why those didn’t make the cut. They too were painted green and provided fun for all-ages) and it was old enough to deposit several toothpick size splinters in your foot a couple of times a year. Splinters or not, there are not many things in my life that I can compare to the thrill of jumping off the 2nd story of the “High Dive”.
With a dripping swimsuit and possibly splintered and slippery feet, you climbed up onto the 2nd story of the “High Dive” by another ladder (albeit this one was much longer and ushered you onto the 15+ foot high deck of the 2nd story). I don’t know if it was just me, but it seemed like everything dried much faster at that height, because before you could realize just how slick your feet really were, they were dry. Huh.
Then the anxiety hit. (I don’t know if I’m gonna be able to jump off today….man it seems so much higher once you’re up here…..holy shit I’m scared!!!!) Just a few of the thoughts that crossed your mind as you came to grips with what you were considering. One of the most amazing things (and again such a simple addition) about the “High Dive” was that it was not only set up openly at the top so you could jump…..there was also a diving board. What…..are you insane? Nope.
So began one of the first steps into becoming a man for some of us that grew up in or around Aiken. For those of you that weren’t “Outing Club” attendees, I’m sure you had your own sort of “walk through fire” rituals that were tests of manhood, of valor, of fearlessness. This was ours.
Peering over the edge of that dock sent a shiver up your spine that was hardly rivaled in our 6 to 12-year-old worlds. It was just damn scary. You can imagine the actual fear of fully catapulting off the diving board from said height. You’ve gotta figure it added another 4 plus feet to the drop. Nice. By the time I made my last jump off the “High Dive”, I had matured from simply dropping myself off the lowest edge and hoping the splash didn’t hurt to actually pulling off a “Gainer” from the diving board on the top deck. (for those of you that don’t know, a “Gainer” is when you jump forwards off the diving board and then do a back-flip in mid-air…I’m pretty sure I was able to do 2 front flips as well, but who’s bragging?). I guess we just became accustomed to the pain of landing on our backs with a deafening “SLAP” if we didn’t pull off the maneuvers. Still, it was never fun to know that you weren’t going to make it back around to your feet. You just braced for impact and hoped that you could contort your limbs enough to ease the pain. Usually, it still hurt like hell……but I cannot think of many other things from my childhood that were that much damn fun!!!
So, I’ve mentioned the “High Dive”, the minnow nets, you all know what Capri Suns are…..that leaves the tennis ball, right? That was the final piece to the puzzle that was all-day fun at the “Outing Club”. We developed a game as we grew older and were looking for new ways to entertain ourselves called “tennis ball tag”. I know, not very original, but it was unbelievably addictive. You see, 1 person was “It” (just like tag) and this person had to hit someone else with the tennis ball and when successfully done, that person was then “It”. The difficulty was that it was only played along the “hovering sidewalk”, the deep end, and the “High Dive”. It was not an easy task to hit someone with a tennis ball while swimming. The even scarier prospect was missing. Behind the “High Dive” was the area of the pond that was not “roped-off” for swimming. That meant that the algae was abundant and the wild pond creatures were waiting for an unassuming victim to swim into their territory so they could pounce. Ok, that’s ridiculous, but let me just say that if you were “It”, there was no worse feeling than trying to hit someone on the dock and seeing the ball sail 20+ feet into the “non-swimming” area. That was a swim-of-shame so to speak, and I can say from experience that I’ve never swam a faster freestyle in my life than the ones I would swim trying to get back into the clean area of the pond. Honestly.
What an incredible game. What an incredible place. What an effin’ shame that the “High Dive” is gone.
What? No way, right? I must be kidding. Nope. It’s gone alright. This is the diatribe I was talking about. Lazy parenting I guess. Since I’ve been out of Aiken, they’ve torn it down. Liability. People were afraid that kids would get hurt so they eliminated that threat. Wow. Talk about the ridiculous fears of parents these days. Guess what….those kids are probably taking hits off of the fumes from human fecies or buying hallucinogens from the local GNC. Give me a break. I know there was a constant fear when we were young that you might land on an old stump in the pond when jumping into the water, but I’m fairly certain it was a kind of “not-so-urban legend”. Even if there were stumps, it would be an easy thing to fix. Please don’t take away the option of kids being kids. I can’t imagine not having some of the memories that I retain because my parents were afraid that I might get hurt. In fact, I would have still done most of the stuff anyway, just not in front of them (sorry Mom and Dad, but it’s true). Stop fooling yourselves into believing that you can keep children from doing crazy shit. It’s gonna happen sooner or later. Kids will get hurt, they will require stitches, break a few bones, maybe even knock out some teeth….but guess what….when they’re 31…..they will remember the time when they broke their arm trying to “ollie” on their skateboard….or they will remember the stitches they received because they cut their hand building a skate ramp….or they might just reminisce about cutting their foot while jumping off the diving board at the “Outing Club”.
Unfortunately, kids these days won’t have that option. So I’ll end this article today by saying, “BRING BACK THE HIGH DIVE!!!!!” That will be a motto of sorts for the next year or so. Wouldn’t it be great to see that thing back at the Outing Club next summer? For those of you that aren’t from Aiken, I’m sure you’ve got a childhood “stomping ground” that’s been uprooted for political or “parenting” reasons. I say start your own petition. While you’re at it, let us all know what that place or those places are. Maybe we can help.
I’ll talk at you all again later.
“hello there my old friend, not so long ago it was til’ the end”
“BRING BACK THE HIGH DIVE!!!!!”
Today’s Topic: I can’t believe what an UnGodly awful week I just had…….how about you?
Mood Music: Oh My God by Mark Ronson featuring Lily Allen
Yes, I’m holding a gas can and a computer. I’m also standing on top of a freshly filled trench in my front yard and although apprehensively, I’m wearing a University of Georgia hat. These are a few of my least favorite things from the past week and I felt like sharing them with you….ok I just wanted to dump them on you….I feel like purging and who better to vomit all of this negativity on than you all….the loyal readers of this blog. Not to worry, there is a somewhat happy ending, or at least a few things that keep me smiling while going through a minor tremor on life’s “here comes the earthquake” scale.
It’s been one of those weeks where you wonder if the Apocalypse might be upon us after all. I drove back from dropping of my dog (we’ll call him Alex) on Saturday morning and passed 10 or more gas stations that had NO GAS. NOT A DROP!!! You know what’s funny? It’s been like that across Charlotte for over a week now. I cannot fathom how in the world this happens. I drove my wife (we’ll call her Ellen) ’s car around yesterday and tried to find a single gas station that I could sputter into, so that she would be able to drive to work today with her honor intact. (You see, she has to drive my truck while her gas light is on, and that doesn’t necessarily keep her running, if you know what I mean…..More on Ellen and the truck shortly) Out of probably 20 or more gas stations that I passed while touring Charlotte’s Petroleum Market, I saw One……yes One that actually had gas. How did I know you might ask? It was easy, there was a line of cars about a quarter of a mile long with more than one person pushing their cars to the finish line as they were out of gas. I nearly took the driver’s side door off of a mini-Cooper as the dude hopped out just as I passed and swung the door wide to maintain momentum as he pushed it up the hill. Un-effin’-Real. Suffice to say, I’ve yet to get gas for my wife upon writing this article. One more day of driving the truck hun, sorry.
If you read the blog Tuesday, you noticed the update about my computer problem. I believe it’s fixed now, but there was a 24 hour window where I was fairly certain that it would not be revived and I was extremely displeased with that realization. Lucky for me, the silver lining from Hell Week was that it was able to be repaired, thus allowing me to continue this blog and find new articles about UGA that I can bitch and moan about.
Bad Week Topic #3 – the ridiculously terrible first half display by the University of Georgia Bulldogs on Sat. night. Wow. I didn’t see that coming. I’ll tell you that. After driving to Athens on pins and needles, hoping that I would be able to refill the car as we got close, Ellen and I managed to top off the tank and cruise into Athens ready for something positive to finish off the week. We were looking in the wrong place. The Dawgs apparently took the first half off and by the time they decided to play football, it was a little too late. Nothing against Alabama, but even they don’t get the credit for that crap.
Finally, to top it all off, last week while mowing the grass, I discovered a possible leak in our front yard. After checking the water meter and our previous month’s water bill, my fears were confirmed. We had some kind of water leak between the meter and the house. After a couple days, and a couple trips by our favorite plumbers, we discovered that the “galvanized” line running from the meter to the house was leaking. Sounds like an easy fix, right? Wrong, there’s no way to locate the leak, it’s like the entire line was rusting, so the only solution was to replace the entire water line. A nice chunk of change and a huge visual scar in the front yard later, our water line is brand new.
What a damn week. Here’s hoping that the rest of this week will be much better. (UGA isn’t playing so that can’t hurt)
If any of you have had some bullshit going on in your life, let us know. Who better to complain to than your friends here at the World of Willo. We’ll always lend an ear, or CPU screen and comment section. That’s part of the reason I’m here.
Oh yeah, I promised a little happiness at the end of this blog. I’ve included a picture below of my wife (again, let’s call her Ellen) in my F150 that she’s been driving while waiting for the opportunity to gas up her car. The passenger is none other than our broken computer. Ellen emailed me the other day with some typed out version of the Sanford and Son theme song (something like Dunn Dunn Dunn Dunn, Dunn Dunn Dunn Dunn Dunn Dunn Dunn……) I laughed my ass off thinking about her driving that truck with the CPU on the seat beside her as that theme song blares on the radio. Priceless!!!!!!
Just hum that classic tune and imagine Elle struggling to park this truck. Now that brightens any week!!!
I’ll talk at you all again later.
“it don’t matter to me, cause all I wanted to be, is a million miles from here, somewhere more familiar”
Today’s Topic: How the Ryder Cup came home
Mood Music: Porch Song – Widespread Panic
A good friend of mine (we’ll call him Jake) asked if he could write a piece on the blog that covered the victory by the US in the Ryder Cup a little over a week ago. I told him that it would be an honor for someone to give us all a little insight into what it means for the US to win this prestigious “Cup”. Here’s what Jake had to say about the win:
While we were knee deep in College Football last weekend, golf history was being made. A “rag-tag” group of golfers brought something back to US soil that hasn’t been here in 9 years and only twice in the last 15…..and that something was the Ryder Cup. I don’t call these guys “rag-tag” because they aren’t great, but because our beloved captain (let’s call him “zinger” as in Paul Azinger) pulled off a thing of genius by picking players that you don’t hear about everyday on ESPN (I’ll refrain – don’t want to get into their grill about golf coverage, but trust me – it’s as bad as some of the college football gripes we’ve read about on this blog).
Several things happened that helped bring this Cup home.
Changing the format.
To give you a little rundown on this event:
The Captain takes the top 8 players and gets 4 “Captain’s picks” where he chooses whoever he wants to participate on the team. In years past, the captain only got 2 picks and we took the top 10 players along with those 2 picks. Much was made of the new selection process (shortened mostly to one year), and getting himself four at-large selections instead of the traditional two allowed Zinger more flexibility. With the liberty of those 4 Captain’s picks, he chose Hunter Mahan, JB Holmes, Steve Stricker and Chad Campbell. Not exactly headliners. JB is a Ryder Cup rookie, and although he is the longest player on tour, Zinger chose him because he’s a Kentucky boy and he wanted to create a “13th man” atmosphere by getting the local crowd into the tournament – which was held at Valhalla. Hunter Mahan – another rookie. Steve Stricker and Chad Campbell – both solid players as well. Here is a rundown of the complete US roster:
Phil Mickelson
Stewart Cink
Kenny Perry – Kentucky native
Jim Furyk
Anthony Kim
Justin Leonard
Ben Curtis
Boo Weekley
Steve Stricker
Hunter Mahan
JB Holmes
Chad Campbell
Tell me, after reading that list, how many times you’ve seen those guys on Sportscenter…not very many. This group of guys played like a team, like they are proud to be Americans….something the US team has not done in a long time. This team was about brotherhood and about having fun. This team was not about being superstars or being individuals. In other words – Tiger was absent.
Game Night:
Rather than have the traditional “what the Ryder cup means to me” sob night on the eve of the final match – Azinger had the wives put together a skit, which was followed up by Boo Weekley recounting a time when he once wrestled an orangutan. Genius. It’s safe to say that Zinger knew the way to win this cup was to have fun with it – that’s what real teams do; they have fun and finish the drill.
Atmosphere:
If you have ever watched a Ryder Cup that was played in Europe, you know that the fans there are very much a part of the event and can be a huge lift to the team. Zinger thought about this as our fan base has never been overzealous, and he made it quite clear that he wanted a true “13th man” out there making a difference. My God, did we have a “13th man” this week!!! I’ve never seen a golf crowd like the one we had in Kentucky – and it made all the difference in the world. The Europeans were visibly bothered by our raucous crowd to the point where they called us unprofessional in our spirit. Zinger called for this and the fans responded with pride. Boo Weekley responded pretty well too – see this clip for his antics that got the crowd going on Sunday, out of the gate:
http://nbcsports.msnbc.com/id/22825103/vp/26822037#26822037
Paul Azinger, himself:
This guy has overcome everything. Fifteen years ago, he was diagnosed with cancer. He beat it and even played through chemo treatments, sans hair. His best friend, Payne Stewart, was killed in a plane crash. I remember reading about this accident and Azinger said his reaction to the phone call about Stewart’s death caused him to pull over and vomit right on the side of I-95. He’s won a Major and several other tournaments – but nothing will ever compare to what he did with this Ryder Cup. Rather than try to force all 12 players to bond, he broke them up into groups of 4 and let those 3 groups practice and play together for the duration – and it worked like magic. He put his rookies off first on Sunday, the biggest day, when others would send out the horses. The rookies won or halved their matches and got way ahead of the competition.
I could go on and on about how we won this, but it’s really about a captain making a team believe – which is what sports and this great country are all about.
Congrats USA – and thanks for bringing the Cup home.
Thanks Jake for the piece. It’s unbelievable what those guys were able to accomplish. Here’s to a little light at the end of the tunnel of negativity in sports. I’ll talk at you all again tomorrow.
“i opened up my eyes to see, a land of sunny rocks and funny trees”
