Today’s Topic:  The Bachelor”ette” (yes that cheesy show on ABC)

Mood Music:  Say It Isn’t So by Hall and Oates

First…..and despite its surrealistic nature….I’m offering a SPOILER WARNING to those of you that have DVRed, TIVOed, etc……this week’s episode of the Bachelorette.  Because, odds are, I’ll never get to do it again, I will repeat…..there’s a SPOILER WARNING for all of you Bachelor”ette” fans out there that haven’t seen this week’s episode. 

And finally, for those that can’t get the hint (despite my manual attempt at ALL CAPS) or for those of you that have no idea what a SPOILER WARNING is….I am going to be talking about the most recent episode of ABC’s “the Bachelorette” in this blog. 

I believe that’s fair warning……eh?

Let’s get one thing straight.  No one (including good guy Jason from last season for those that watch….at least until the “after the final rose” show…..) can possibly, actually, really, seriously….believe that they are going to fall in love on this show…..can they?  Come onnnnnnn people.  Tell me you’re not all that stupid.  Please.  Tell me.

Jillian… something or other (I have no idea what her last name is….which doesn’t bode well for her future after this show’s over…we’ll get into that later) seems like your prototypical sweet, loveable, down to earth, lick lipping Canadian that’s just yearning for a guy that can be her best friend, make her laugh, be willing to move to Canada on a whim, zipline (cause for the love of God that’s part of every other date), and love her the way she deserves to be loved (which, upon recent viewing, doesn’t include sex).  Huh.

Now….don’t get me wrong…..I’m all about the possibility of finding your future partner based on random helicopter rides, ropes course dates, snow shoeing, helicopter rides, the occasional Martina McBride serenade, maybe some horseback riding (wait, not this season…oh), helicopter rides (this time accompanied by “The Bachelor”’s theme song), repelling down the side of a high-rise, helicopter rides, and then….for those lucky few….meeting the parents for a half hour or so over an uncomfortable dinner (stuffed with one-on-one interviews from Mom, Dad, maybe some Jackleg sibling with long hair and a dumbass goatee) and then…..a few days in a remote location that obviously sets a realistic premise for what life might be like….should you decide to pursue marriage with one of these folks….I mean….let’s just say, hypothetically, if your first date is at an ice bar in Whistler…your second date is in Barcelona, Spain, and your third date is on the island of Maui (with the option of foregoing your individual room for the….well, you all know that one by now)…..how in the hell are you going to make it as a normal couple in Vancouver?  It’s easy….you’re not.  Because, despite the fact that Reid soandso (also don’t know his last name or care) seems like exactly what Jillian was looking for (funny, sweet, down to earth, willing to move the Canada…maybe) he was given the boot over a guy that has the personality of a line judge at Wimbledon (yeah…I’m talking about you Kiptyn….just because you got up on that telephone pole with words of encouragement….which I did when I was 12 at Camp Gravatt by the way….and yes, I caught the trapeze too….but that’s for another time….doesn’t mean your 15 minutes of fame become 16…or 17) and a guy that …..ok, this one’s gonna take an actual list:

1) left her for his job in the middle of the show after she gave him a rose just to stay

2) came back (my guess is after his boss told him that he would still be able to keep his job even if he did finish the show….because he was gaining notoriety which really doesn’t hurt business if you know what I mean….that is unless you’re a no-talent-ass-clown that plays country music and runs off at the mouth) and begged her to take him back

3) showed up for a date (on National TV) wearing the fucking worst combination of bad clothes ever seen on a TV set to date…….the damn “I wanna rip my eyes out” blue/gray wife beater, and green and white “I wanna rip my eyes out from the length of the damn things” shorts…..were the worst combination of clothes on a grown man that I’ve ever seen…..honest to God…..at one point I actually had to turn away and I’m fairly certain that if it were filmed in 3D, Ed’s moose knuckle might have actually blinded some people when he decided to relax and cock his bare/but hairy/not quite feminine/but not male looking legs wide open in full view of ABCs cameras.  Thanks ABC for that beautiful shot.  Give that editor a fucking Emmy.  Seriously.

and if you can get past his “I’ve got one last chance to make a “first impression” outfit you get to:

4) meet his parents who, are either utterly shocked at the mere fact that their son is actually dating a woman (because I’m fairly confident that Ed might be gay…..and I feel like they probably share my sentiments)….or are just completely, ridiculously emotional……I mean, don’t get me wrong, I’m a sentimental bastard, but are all the tears really necessary Dad?  You just fucking met her.

Finally…..let’s just say that if you’re Jillian…..you’re able to overlook ALL that (and take into account you’re also juggling 2 spectacular dates with monotone line judge/possible golf commentator and Reid) and are still seriously considering taking Ed to the final 2.  You decide to forego your individual rooms…..you disappear into the bathroom and change into “something a little more comfortable” and you appear bedside with oil and shit ready to rub that mother down………

……and the dude can’t get a boner…………………….

Do you really need to do any more thinking on the subject?  Seriously. 

I mean, she’s had all of about 10 or so hours of actual conversation with this guy and within those 10 hours he’s managed to break her heart, show up as the worst dressed American in television history, and fail during his only attempt in the bedroom…..and yet…….and yet…..

She fucking chooses him over Reid because Reid couldn’t express his feelings.  

Folks.  That’s about all I can take of that shit.  I’m not saying that sex is the deciding factor in a relationship, but if you’ve got one chance to make an impression sexually, and you bring a limp dick to the table……..let’s just say that things aren’t looking “up” if you know what I mean.

and the saddest part of all is that Jillian will exit this show when it’s over, head back to Canada, or California with Kiptyn, or Chicago with Ed, briefly…..realize that Kiptyn is like hanging out with a crossing guard, Ed is like hanging out with a poorly dressed woman, and end up….alone….in Canada….her 15 plus minutes gone……alone. 

Don’t get me wrong…I know there are those of you cussing me under your breath, saying that I shouldn’t be watching this crap anyway.  Sue me.  It’s entertaining.  Maybe more so by the fact that they market it as a show about a woman that’s trying to find love than anything else.  That is just humorous at this point.

So….for all of you Bachelor/ette fans out there….I’m right there with you……through the foot fetish of Tanner, the dog howl singing voice of Wes, and the impotence of Ed…..I’m watching….fascinated….

just don’t expect me to buy into the concept that any of these people are actually looking for love…..especially Jillian…. who’s gone from wanting a companion that will make her laugh to choosing 2 finalists that are utterly laughable.  (unless of course….she decides to give Reid another chance and ultimately picks him….which I’m gonna go out on a limb and call right now by the way)….because, otherwise, I’m done with the franchise….and honestly…..I’m banking on the fact that for once, despite my inclinations, I want to believe a woman that tells us the most important thing that she’s looking for in a man is for him to make her laugh and maybe, just maybe, that’s not just a load of crap…. 

I’ll talk at you all again later. 

4-12-09-049

“say it isn’t so painful to tell me that you’re dissatisfied”

Today’s Topic:  Screw the Yankees….and Chip Caray…..and Jeff Bennett (I’m ranting again so stop here if you don’t like harsh language…..seriously this time….I warned you)

Mood Music:  Blowin’ in the Wind by Bob Dylan 

For those of you that don’t know (not sure how that could be possible if you’ve been on here before but I understand if you haven’t) I’m a huge Atlanta Braves fan.  I’m a huge sports fan in general (not quite as obsessive as some guys that can rattle off the batting average of Mickey Mantle in 1960…but not too far off….by the way….that guy was probably at Turner Field tonight, more on that in a sec).  Baseball is my favorite sport and if you know anything about baseball, you know that former players…be it high school, college, professional, or just plain little league….are some of the most superstitious fans alive.  In fact, I’d be willing to argue that baseball players are by far the most superstitious atheletes in any sport. 

For those that can’t see it coming…..I wrote all that so that you won’t think I’m crazy when you read what’s coming next (THERE IS FOUL LANGUAGE BELOW SO PROCEED WITH CAUTION)

I’D LIKE TO ASK THE FOLLOWING PEOPLE, PLAYERS, ORGANIZATIONS, ETC…..TO KINDLY BLOW IT OUT THEIR ASSES:

594px-001B4119_Francisco_Cervelli

The New York Yankees.  The Yankee players, Yankee coaches, and most importantly the Yankee fans.  Especially all of those fans that don’t know shit about baseball other than the Yankees are in New York City and they feel like buying a Derek Jeter jersey and going to some games (YO JETER, HIT IT OVA HEEYAH).  Shut the fuck up.  I watched the bottom of the ninth last night as Mariano Rivera pitched to Yunel Escobar with 2 outs and 2 strikes and if I didn’t know any better, I would’ve thought they were playing in New York City.  There were more fans cheering for the Yankees than there were Braves fans out of the 42,000 plus.  You can’t tell me that all of those fans are transplants from the “greatest city in the world”.  (maybe it’s saying something about the Braves…but we’ll get to that later)….for now…..I wanna say “blow it out your ass dick” to:

markytextex

Mark Teixeira for saying that Joe Girardi is the best coach he’s ever played for, Mariano Rivera and his now 91 mph cutter (that did strike out all 4 Braves he faced….but again, we’ll get to that later)….and Francisco Cervelli (pictured earlier) for rounding the bases like he just hit his first major league home run…..act like you’ve been there before Jackass….oh wait…..it was his first major league home run…..fuck him…he still acted like a penis….Joe Girardi for his joke of an ejection…..come on man, you’re a freakin’ New Yorka…..show some damn spirit…..Bobby Cox (owner of the all-time ejection mark in Major League Baseball as a manager) shows more spirit while getting tossed and he’s 24 years older.  Damn.

***I apologize to all the Yankees fans for my tirade….no I don’t, who are you kidding.

Second….and all apologies to any Skip Caray fans that might be offended (I was a huge Skip Caray fan, just look at my WOW post last year…..somehow I doubt this will offend you)….

Chip Caray (despite the fact that you’re a fellow journalism grad from UGA)…on this night……blow it out your ass dick. 

chip_caray 

Chip……let me give you a piece of advice about commentating, calling a baseball game, etc…(especially when you are a BRAVES announcer…….not an objective announcer, not for some jackleg team like the Yankees….an ATLANTA BRAVES announcer)

If the Braves are in the middle of pitching a PERFECT GAME (and I do mean middle….meaning top of the 5th) …… don’t sit there and comment on the fact that the opposing team (in this case the Jacklegs) haven’t got a hit in 8 plus innings….or that they haven’t had a baserunner yet….or that…..you get the point (by the way, this is the part that I was alluding to with the superstition talk for those of you who were anxiously wondering)

Who’s coming with me?  For those that are…..I want to take it one step further……Here’s a paraphrased transcript of Chip’s comments starting in the top of the 5th and continuing into the top of the 6th (yes, not even a full inning mind you):

Top of the 5th (he says):

- 13 in a row retired

- The Yankees have no hits in their last 8 innings, they’ve been set down 15 in a row, the Braves are perfect against them so far

Bottom of the 5th (he says):

- Look at that line score at the top……there hasn’t been a single Yankee baserunner

- for the Yankees, this game’s going to the 6th inning, they don’t have a hit yet

Top of the 6th (he says):

- would it be fair to say that what Beckett did to the Braves is what the Braves are doing to the Yankees tonight?

THEN A STAT POPS UP THAT CHIP READS SAYING:

- New York Yankees do not have a hit in last 8 innings of this series

after which Chip says:

- you’ve gotta figure at some point the Yankees are gonna break out

and finally…….just in case we hadn’t gotten the point over the last inning (and right before Mr. Cervelli’s life changing home run….and the Yankee’s first hit)

- not only do the Yankees not have a hit, they don’t have a baserunner

Screw you Chip…..and goodnight.

Finally, and I’m sure some of you saw this coming…..

Jeff Bennett 3

Blow it out your ass Jeff Bennett.  Someone please, please, please explain to me how in the world this guy is still pitching in the Majors….much less for the Braves after blowin’ game, upon game, upon game (out his ass?  damn….maybe I’ll have to think of another way of cussing out Jeff) ……continuing from my previous blog about Bennett….I’ve still yet to see him throw a good inning.  Unbelievable.

and last but not least….on a totally unrelated topic (and one I’ll be delving into on the WOW site soon):

I say…..Fuck Rabies shots.

I’ll talk at you all again later.

2-1-09-040

“the answer, my friend, is blowin’ in the wind, the answer is blowin’ in the wind”

Today’s Topic:  The worst lyrics I’ve heard in years (closing in on ever at a staggering pace)….quick blog

Mood Music:  What else….Second Chance by Shinedown

Ok, Ok….I’ll answer this question first:

Yes, I listen to pop music while riding in my truck with mud tires (hey, I saved about $400 on those tires…ease up) and construction debris in the back while covered in paint from touching up a bathroom remodel. 

What’s wrong with that? 

I’ve gotta say…it’s not always pop music….I entertain myself while driving with a game I like to call “since I’m the only person still alive (under 50) that has ONLY a radio in his car…… (that’s correct…no tape player…do those still exist?  I’m guessing no.  No CD player.  No Ipod connection.  You get it)……..I think I’ll change the channel everytime I don’t like the song until I find something worth listening to”.  Sounds great doesn’t it?  Well, sometimes it can be extraordinary…..like today for example (while driving the truck with debris in the back and paint on my pants) I was flipping through Charlotte’s abysmal selection of FM Radio stations, and came across Jeff Healey singing “Angel Eyes”.  I don’t know about you all, but that shit was damn good when I was 8.  Ok, 11.  And guess what?  It still is.  Man I was blurting that damn song out…in fact my partner called (we’ll call him Charlie) and when I told him what I was listening to….he asked me to crank it up.  So, in fact, I’m not the only one.  Maybe there are more of you….

and for the record (and please…no offense to those faithful WOW supporters who are not heterosexuals)….by partner I mean business, and just because 2 dudes like the song “Angel Eyes” by Jeff Healey doesn’t make them gay.  Well…..it is a little……we are both happily married……and the song was in the movie “Roadhouse” with Patrick Swayze….a classic film about a guy that’s a bouncer at a bar who falls…..ok, so maybe that’s not a shining example of why to like the song……it just reminds me of childhood.

Angel Eyes Video

Speaking of gay…how about that drummer?  Whoa.  Listen closely for his drum solo/roll towards the end….I’m fairly certain it’s what I modeled my “Rock Band” drum improv/solo after.  It’s just too close to call.  (if you can’t watch the whole thing….it’s at about the 4:24 mark)

Now, to the point of this (short) blog.  I was playing the radio game today and came across a song that I’ve heard about a thousand times whilst playing said game and finally I had to stop the channel surfing for once and listen.  And here’s what I heard:

“I just saw Halley’s Comet, she waved…..said why you always running in place”

What the hell.

“even the man in the moon disappeared, somewhere in the stratosphere”

Huh?

There are so many things that bug me about those 2 lines that it would take a “long” blog to fully delve into the magic of these frightfully moronic lyrics….so just a couple things that bothered me and I’ll leave you all to ponder……

(again, no offense to any non-heteros out there)…but

the Halley’s Comet line…….might be the gayest thing I’ve ever heard.  The effing comet waved huh.  I wonder how they determined it was a she?  Was this back in the 80’s?  Is he writing about childhood?  Did the comet just flicker in the sky and the dude heard, “hey man….why you always runnin’ in place?”  Like the comet was busting his chops for living on a planet that orbits the sun as opposed to flying aimlessly throughout space, only to burn out later.  Either way, what in the shit does he mean by that line?  You got me….but I know 1 thing….

it sucks.

How about the ole’ man in the moon line.  that guy hasn’t come up in a song before has he?  Now why am I calling the moon a he?  I guess it’s because we’re just discussing the “man in the moon” not just the moon, right?  Either way, he disappeared at some point…..I’m guessing he too was part of this guy’s vivid childhood imagination (let’s hope he’s just reminiscing and not just effin’ insane)  Unfortunately, I’ve got a feeling it’s the latter, because if I’m not mistaken, the stratosphere is part of the Earth’s atmosphere….therefore, sorry Shinedown, the moon just can’t quite disappear somewhere in the stratosphere.  Now, maybe there was some cloud cover…or possibly (but doubtful) there was an eclipse….but not in the stratosphere…sorry.

Of course, of the 2 lines….the first is the one that really, really, really gets under my skin.  It’s just so damn awful.

Well, that’s it for today.  Just a little vent on a Wednesday night for all of you commuters.  Check out your FM dial tomorrow and see if you can find this summer’s jam….”Second Chance” by Shinedown.  Trust me, it will annoy you…..and maybe later we can discuss the ridiculous pronunciation of the word “me” in pop music these days. 

I’ll talk at you all again later.

4-12-09-049

“please don’t cry one tear for me….I’m not afraid of what I have to say….this is my one and only voice, so listen close….it’s only for today”

Today’s Topic:  You can’t spell Jeff Bennett without “effen”

Mood Music:  Walk by Pantera

I played high school baseball on a team that had some pretty good pitchers….hell even great.  They had great fastballs, a few had incredible curve balls, some were even downright intimidating to face.  You wanna know one thing though, that they all had in common?

Walks.  Holy effin’ shit.  I must admit….one of the worst things to experience as a fielder during a baseball game….is a pitcher that can’t find the damn strike zone. 

Guys….I know it can be mental….but we’re not asking for much….just let them HIT the ball.  You don’t have to strike everyone out….a home run is better than watching you nitpick the effin’ pitcher until he gets a free base.

So we come to the man that’s the subject of today’s blog.  Jeff “effen” Bennett.  A relief pitcher for the Atlanta Braves. 

Braves Cubs Baseball

Damn that’s a familiar sight…sorry, where was I….

Why, you ask, would I devote a whole blog to writing about a guy that most of you have never heard of?  It’s easy…I’m a die-hard Braves fan, but it’s becoming harder and harder to spend 3 plus hours watching a team that rations runs like the last embers of a dying fire only to have guys like Jeff “effen” Bennett walk the leadoff hitter in the top of the 11th inning against the Cubs.  Guess what happens when you walk the leadoff hitter late in a game?  That’s right….the same thing that happens when you walk the pitcher or walk a guy with 2 outs late in the game…….he’s gonna score…almost every time (and if you’re Jeff Bennett…well let’s just say I’ve never watched him walk a guy in a situation like that, that didn’t score).

My motto…..JUST THROW STRIKES.  SHIT.  You are getting paid hundreds of thousands of dollars a year to pitch maybe 4 or 5 innings a week.  Throw strikes. 

So why single out Bennett?  Wait, let’s look at another picture….

Jeff Bennett 2

That’s why.  This is the look that I see every time I decide to spend my night watching the Braves.  This idiot walking a guy that’s got a .100 batting average with nobody on base in the 1oth inning.  I’m just over it to say the least.  A professional baseball team WILL NOT WIN A CHAMPIONSHIP with pitchers like Bennett in the bullpen.  Period.  

Like a great man once said to my siblings…..”the Braves won’t win” he said.  And when asked why….his answer, “cause the Braves ain’t got no bullpen”

You’re damn right.   

I mean think about it….if your job was to go out and fix peoples’ cars….and the easiest part of that was changing a tire….yet every other time you did it…..halfway out of the station, the damn tire flew off as the customer was driving away.  You wouldn’t have a job very long…would you?

So….let’s see another…..

Braves Spring Baseball

Well……at least in Spring Training he was giving it the ole’ heroes’ effort.  Of course, in a REAL game, Jeff, you can’t throw it underhanded to get it over the plate.  Sorry…..and Bobby Cox, you ARE a Hall-of-Fame Manager, but here’s a very minor piece of advice (that I feel qualified to give after watching the Braves for over 25 years of my life)….fire Terry Pendleton (he sucks as a hitting coach…seriously, who has actually improved under Pendleton?)….fire Roger McDowell (he sucks as a pitching coach….it just hasn’t been the same since Mazzone left…hmmmm)….

and for God’s sake…..if a jackass like Jeff Bennett can’t throw strikes…or even worse…walks the leadoff guy in an inning of relief, walks a guy with 2 outs, or heaven forbid…walks the opposing pitcher……send his ass the eff’ down to the minors and let someone pitch (and make a living) that will throw effen’ strikes.  

And Jeff, don’t worry man….I’m sure you’ll be forgotten long before the Braves turn this thing around….but don’t feel bad….you can hide your face in another town before too long (if Cox comes to his senses…which isn’t likely at this point I’m afraid)

Go Braves!!!

Jeff Bennett 3 

I’ll talk at you all again later.

2-1-09-051

“is there no standard anymore…?…..RESPECT, WALK”

Today’s Topic:  The Incident

Mood Music:  Pusherman by Curtis Mayfield

800px-Jacob5x16

FLASHBACK (Jacob)

 “make your world what you want it to be”

Opens with a shot of a dude working at a loom….in what looks to be a very, very old room.  There’s a fire burning in a small pit on the floor and he’s wearing rope sandals as he weaves the yarn/rope/whatever.  It shows him using a knife to add the strands to some kind of large tapestry that he’s making.

We see the man going out into the ocean to retrieve some kind of basket.  He dumps out a fish and proceeds to filet in on a rock and then toss it onto another rock that’s been heating up from a fire below it. 

***could it just be that easy?  I have to say, upon rewatching the scene a few hundred times….that fish looks pretty damn good when he pulls it off the boulder grill

 The man’s wearing very old looking clothes….white shirt and gray pants.  He leans back to eat and we see that he’s watching a large ship make it’s way towards the beach where he’s chilling. 

***my assumption is that it’s the Black Rock…it looks a lot like the ship in a bottle Richard Alpert was building in the last episode

Jacob--with-his-enemy-1800s

Another man walks up (dressed in a black shirt and gray pants)….he says he’s there because of the ship…and they proceed to have a cryptic conversation about how he knows that the other man (in white) brought the ship to the island to prove him wrong and that it’s going to end just like it always does…with fighting, corruption, destruction, etc….the man in white answers that he is wrong and it will only end once but everything up until then is progress.  The Man in Black then tells the MIW that he wants to kill him….which doesn’t surprise MIW at all.  He mentions that one day he’ll find a loophole and kill him.  To that MIW says that he’ll be there.  The MIB says that “it was nice talking to you…..JACOB”  

and it pans out and we see that JACOB and the MIB are on a beach right below the “four-toed statue” that has what looks to be an alligator face.

5x16-fourtoedstatue

***Yowsa.  Notice how the two of them are dressed in black and white.  The MIB’s name was never mentioned so we will have all summer and maybe forever to try and guess who he might be….if I had to guess….he’s the smoke monster in human form (kinda like the holy spirit)….and Jacob….well he’s like Jesus (maybe).

FLASHBACK (Kate)

“silent life of crime, a man of odd circumstance”

Jacob-touches-Kate

We see young Kate and Tom planning something outside a convenience store.  They pass a truck with a license plate XA7 023 and it has an Iowa Cattlemen sticker.  Inside, Kate steals a New Kids On the Block lunchbox and puts it in a backpack.  As they are walking out, the store clerk catches them and tells her that he’s going to call her Mom and then the cops.  A man (offscreen) offers to pay for it and then the clerk says he won’t call anyone as long as someone pays for it.  We see the man is JACOB.  He tells Katie that she’s not going to steal again and then pokes her on the nose.

***more on the nose poke later….I believe they were in Ames, IA and Tom was carrying the toy plane

FLASHBACK (Sawyer)

“two bags please, for a generous fee”

S5-finale-Jacob-touches-Sawyer

Young Sawyer watches his parents’ coffins as they are loaded into hearses.  He then sits down on the stairs of the church and continues writing “the letter” to Mr. Sawyer.  His pen runs out of ink and JACOB shows up and offers him his pen.  He makes sure to touch his thumb as he hands him the pen, he tells James that he’s sorry about his Mother and Father and then he leaves, telling him he can keep the pen.  His uncle (or some man) comes up and asks to see what he’s writing.  He reads it aloud and then tells “Jimmy” that he can’t change what’s happened.  “What’s done…is done” and makes him promise that he won’t finish the letter.  Sawyer promises and they head out.

***again with the touching….also, the license plate on the hearse was ZABM543….how awesome is it that we see the origin of the infamous “letter” that we know he will carry with him until he finally gets the chance to avenge his parents’ death in Season 3. 

 FLASHBACK (Sayid)

“got a woman I love desperately…wanna give her something better than me….been told I can’t be nothin’ else”

Sayid-is-distracted-by-Jacob

Sayid and Nadia are walking and talking.  She goes to cross the street and JACOB stops Sayid to ask for directions.  Nadia stops as well and then gets hit by a car.  JACOB touches Sayid’s shoulder before Sayid runs to Nadia.  She asks him to “take her home”, “take her home”.

***JACOB touches Sayid, and if I had to guess….there were probably 15 cars seen during the entire scene….just a guess

FLASHBACK (Ilana)

“you know me, I’m your friend”

5x16-Jacob-visits-Ilana

Ilana is in some kind of hospital, with bandages covering her face.  A nurse comes in and tells her she has a visitor.  It’s JACOB.  He tells her that he’s sorry he couldn’t make it sooner.  She says she’s happy to see him.  He tells her that he’s there because he needs her help.  He asks if she’ll help him and she says “yes”.

***no numbers and he didn’t touch her

FLASHBACK (Locke)

“i know I can break it, this life just don’t make it”

S5-finale-Jacob-resurrects-Locke

 JACOB is sitting on a bench reading Flannery O’Connor’s “Everything that Rises Must Converge” and Locke comes crashing to the ground.  He walks over, touches him which resuscitates him.  He tells him that everything’s gonna be alright and that he’s sorry that it happened to him.

***there are 8 people that come out to see what happened, and JACOB touches Locke

FLASHBACK (Sun and Jin)

“how long can a good thing last…oh no, no, no”

Jacob-touches-Sun-Jin

Sun and Jin are getting married.  They say their vows and kiss.  As they are greeting guests, JACOB comes up to them and offers his blessing as he touches them both.  He tells them not to take their love for granted and leaves.  They don’t know who he is, but Jin notices that his Korean was excellent.

***there are 42 guests at the wedding and JACOB touches Sun and Jin

FLASHBACK (Jack)

“i’m your doctor when in need”

S5-finale-one-of-these-is-yours

Jack is operating on someone.  His Dad and others are in the operating room with him.  He looks intent and suddenly twitches from a mistake….

***I knew right away that this was the incident that he told Kate about in the very first season…the moment where he learned to harness his fear and I thought….Damn these guys are good….what an unbelievable scene to show us….Bravo.

Christian Shepherd gets him to calm down by telling him to count to five.  Jack does it and finishes the surgery.  Afterwards, he tries to get an Apollo bar from the vending machine, but it gets stuck.  He’s pissed and takes it out on his father by yelling at him for putting him in “timeout” in front of co-workers that need to trust him.  He blames his father, but his father questions whether he really needs to blame himself.  We can hear someone at the vending machine and as his Dad leaves, JACOB come around the corner with 2 candy bars.  He hands it to Jack as he touches his finger and tells him that it “just needed a little push”.

***The candy bar weight was 16 oz….JACOB touched Jack’s hand

FLASHBACK (Juliet)

“i’m your momma, i’m your daddy”

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Juliet is sitting on the couch with her sister as her parents tell them that they are getting divorced.  She doesn’t understand why and her Mom tells her that sometimes people that love each other aren’t necessarily meant to be together ( a line she is still carrying with her all those years later because she says something similar to Sawyer when she explains to him that she loves him but they aren’t meant to be with each other).  Her Mom says that one day, when she’s an adult, she’ll understand.  Juliet barges out of the room saying that she doesn’t want to understand.

***No JACOB in her flashback…uh-oh…also, the book on the coffee table was titled, “Mysteries of Ancient Americas”

FLASHBACK (Hurley)

“got to be mellow now, got to be mellow y’all, got to be mellow now”

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Hurley is being released from jail.  He obviously doesn’t want out, but he doesn’t have a choice.  When he exits, there’s a cab outside.  He goes to get in and realizes that there’s already someone in there.  “sorry, I didn’t know it was taken”.  He says, but JACOB tells him to get in.  There’s a guitar case on the seat beside him.  Hurley asked why he was in jail, and he says he wasn’t.  He tells Hurley that he was “waiting on you, Hugo”.  Hurley then says that he must be dead and JACOB assures him that he’s not dead.  He tells Hurley that he must get on the flight 316 and he tells him that he can take his word that he isn’t crazy as he touches his shoulder.  He tells him that it’s his choice…he doesn’t have to do anything he doesn’t want to.  Hurley asks who he is and JACOB gets out of the cab…he tells him to be on that plane, and as Hurley asks about the guitar case on the seat, JACOB says that it’s not his. 

***No numbers that I could see, other than the deputy telling him that he had 1 wallet, 227 dollars, 1 fruit rollup, and 1 ballpoint pen…don’t know what those might mean….JACOB does touch his shoulder

ON ISLAND – 2007

Locke and crew are heading to find Jacob.  Ben tells Sun that Jacob is in charge of the island.  She thought that Locke was in charge, and Ben replies that Locke is just the leader….a position that’s incredibly temporary.  She asks Ben what Jacob’s like and he responds that he doesn’t know because he’s never seen him.  Locke talks to Richard and wants to know why he’s concerned.  Alpert mentions that Ben told him he killed Locke.  Alpert questions how he’s still alive.  He says he’s never seen someone come back to life and that it must be Jacob that brought him back.  Locke agrees and says that he wants to thank him.  He then tells Alpert that they will have to “deal” with the Ajira passengers after they see Jacob. 

meanwhile….

Ilana, Bram, Lapidus

Ilana and Bram (and 3 redshirts) paddle on to the shore with a knocked out Lapidus. They have a large crate.  Bram asks why they brought him and if he’s a candidate.  He didn’t know the answer to the question, he says.  They say they’re friends.  Lapidus asks what’s in the box.  They decide to open it and show him.  He sees what’s inside and responds, “terrific”.  They carry the box to Jacob’s cabin. 

***the box is labeled AA823

Locke and Ben are talking as they walk on the beach.  Locke asks him why he hasn’t told Alpert about his intentions to kill Jacob.  Ben responds that he is thinking about things differently since his dead daughter appeared to him in the cavern threatening to kill him if he didn’t do whatever Locke says.  Locke is please, because, he tells Ben, now he won’t have to convince him to kill Jacob.

They stop to rest for the night and Sun realizes that it’s their old camp.  Locke approaches Ben and points out that the door to the hatch “where they first met” is on the beach behind them.  Locke asks Ben what happened when they went to Jacob’s cabin that time.  Ben admits that he lied because he had never actually met Jacob and he was embarassed.  He then asks Locke why he wants him to kill Jacob and Locke asks him, after all he’s been through, getting cancer, watching his daughter get shot, all his sacrifices for a man he’d never met…why wouldn’t he want to kill him?

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Sun finds Aaron’s old cradle and picks up Charlie’s “DS” ring (which stood for his grandfather, Dexter Stratton, for those that didn’t know)

meanwhile….

Ilana, Bram, Lapidus

…are walking, Lapidus asks what they’re going to do with it.  Bram says that they need to show it to somebody so that they’ll know what they’re up against (which is a helluva lot scarier than what’s in the box).  He tells Lapidus that they are the good guys and as long as he’s with them, he’ll be alright.  As they reach the cabin, Bram notices that the ash line has been disturbed.  Ilana enters the cabin alone and inside it has been trashed.  She finds a piece of cloth being held up by a knife in the wall.  She looks almost sad as she removes it.  When she gets outside she tells Bram that “he” isn’t there.  He hasn’t been for a long time….that someone else has been using it and then she orders the redshirts to burn the cabin.  Bram asks what now, and she shows him the cloth that she found in the cabin.  It’s got the “four-toed statue” on it and so he says that he knows where they are going.  They exit as the cabin flames are massive. 

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***the knife she found holding up the cloth was the same knife that Jacob was using in the opening scene to cut the fish…..hmmmm

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We then see Locke and Co. arriving at a point on the beach where Alpert stops them.  We see that they’ve gotten to the “four-toed statue” and Locke asks what it has to do with JACOB.  Alpert says that it is where he lives.  Richard asks Locke if he wants to do it in the morning and Locke tells him he’s tired of waiting.  Sun asks Ben what happened to the rest of the statue and he tells her it was like that when he got there.  She thinks he’s lying and he responds that he probably is.  Locke grabs him and they go to the base of the statue. Richard asks Ben what he’s doing there and Locke tells him Ben’s going in with him.  Richard explains that only the leader can request to see JACOB and there can only be one leader at a time.  Locke tells him that he thinks Richard’s making the rules up as he goes and that if JACOB has a problem with Ben coming in, he’ll discuss it with him.  Richard pushes the block at the base and it starts to move in.  He hands the torch to Locke and says, “tell him I said Hello”.  They enter.  There is a dark hallway with light coming from a large room at the end.  Ben looks like he’s about to puke and Locke asks if he’ll be able to do it.  He tells Ben that things will change when JACOB is dead.  Ben glances down, pulls Locke’s knife from the sheath and they enter the room.

meanwhile….

Ilana, Bram, Lapidus

…arrive at the beach and Ilana asks for “Ricardus.” Richard identifies himself and Ilana asks, “What lies in the shadow of the statue?” Richard replies in Latin, “Ille qui nos omnes servabit” (”He who will protect us all”). Ilana reveals the contents of the crate: John Locke’s dead body, which Ilana’s crew found in the cargo hold of Ajira 316. Sun looks at Locke’s body and then toward the statue, and asks: “If that’s Locke, then who is in there?”

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CUT TO LOCKE, BEN, AND JACOB

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 Inside the chamber, Jacob immediately recognizes the true identity of Locke’s impersonator and asks him if he finally found his “loophole.” Jacob tells Ben that no matter what he has been told, he still has a choice, that he can simply leave so the two adversaries can discuss their “issues.” Ben asks Jacob about all the times he was neglected and ignored despite his faithful service, complains that Locke was the favored one, and asks, “What about me?” Jacob’s only reply is, “What about you?” Ben stabs Jacob twice. Jacob whispers to Locke, “They’re coming.” Locke’s impersonator rolls Jacob into the fire pit in the center of the room, and Jacob burns.

 ON ISLAND – 1977

On the sub, Kate, Sawyer, and Juliet are discussing their plans.  The OJ sedative is being passed around as the Captain says over the loud speaker, “have a nice rest….see you on the Other Side”.  Kate informs them of Jack’s plan to detonate an H-Bomb and Sawyer acts like he doesn’t care.  They continue arguing about it and Sawyer realizes that Kate’s concerned that everyone on the island will die if Jack goes through with his plan.  Sawyer declines saying that he made a choice and he’s sticking to it.  Juliet tells him that “we” made a choice and she knocks out the dude bringing the sedatives and uses the keys to unlock their cuffs.  They force the Captain (at gunpoint) to surface and Juliet tells him not to take the rest of the people back to the island…just to continue on course after they are off.  The Cap. is concerned about Horace calling, but Sawyer shoots the communications speaker….and the Cap. orders the ship to surface.

***the sub is named, “Galaga” 

Sawyer, Kate, and Juliet paddle to shore in a lifeboat.

***there is an unbelievably poignant shot of Juliet as Sawyer and Kate discuss which direction they’re heading.  She is staring back at the sub as it disappears below the waterline.  I believe at that moment, she’s realizing that she will NEVER get off the island.  It’s the 2nd time she’s been that close to leaving on the sub and having it thwarted.  Very touching.

Kate thanks Juliet for backing her up and Juliet says no problem.  Sawyer has no idea where they are and at that moment, Vincent comes running out onto the beach.  Sawyer bends down to pet him asking where he’s been.

***at that moment, if you look closely, there’s a rainbow in the sky over the ocean….crazy

Next, and may I say….FINALLY!!!!!, Rose and Bernard, quite disappointedly, come out of the jungle and realize that they have been found.

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Rose and Bernard tell them that after the attack of the flaming arrows they scattered and found this little spot near the beach.  Sawyer talks about how they looked for them for years and they tell him they know….they didn’t want to join them in the Dharma Initiative.  They’ve retired….and all they care about, whether or not Jack succeeds in detonating the bomb and killing everyone, is being together. 

***at this point, Sawyer glances over at Kate and Juliet sees it.  I believe that this is the look that she refers to later, and it’s an unbelievably sad scene in that sense….great job Elizabeth Mitchell…my God.  by the way, the Bernard and Rose Theme playing in the background doesn’t hurt…my favorite emotional theme of the show (couldn’t see that coming could you?).

They point them in the right direction and offer them some tea before they go.  Juliet tells Bernard, “maybe another time” and the look of sadness on her face is palpable. 

 Jack, Sayid, Eloise, Richard

Jack, Sayid, Eloise, and Richard are trying to figure out how to move “Jughead”.  Sayid points out that they only need to move the plutonium core (or something like that) per Daniel’s notes.  He says that will be enough of an explosion to take out the Swan.  We see etchings of the plan in Daniel’s notebook.  They have 2 hours, per the notebook, to get the core to the Swan site.  Sayid removes the core and Jack finds a backpack to carry it in.  He asks Sayid if he’s done with Faraday’s journal and he decides to keep it.  Richard grabs a sledgehammer and then asks Jack if he knows Locke.  He says that he’s gone to see Locke twice since he visited him and he doesn’t seem to be special.  Jack tells him not to give up on Locke. 

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They follow Richard to a spot where he knocks through the wall with the hammer.  It’s the basement of a Dharma house and Alpert knocks out Eloise saying that he’s protecting their “leader”.  He tells Jack and Sayid to go on and that he’s taking her out the way they came in.  Jack and Sayid decide to escape ”in plain sight” by donning Dharma suits and just cruising past everyone.  Unfortunately….jackass Roger Linus notices them and starts a firefight by shooting Sayid in the gut.  Luckily, Hurley (again with a van rescue..amazing how Hurley’s connected to the damn Dharma vans), Miles, and Jin show up and load them in the van.

***by the way, I’ve never seen Jack soooo pissed as he was when Roger shot Sayid…and then, sooo happy when he realized who was in the van…watch closely at the size of his damn smile 

Jack tells Hurley to drive to the Swan if he wants to see Sayid again (at this point, I think Jack realizes that Sayid ain’t making it, if they don’t hurry…he’s bleeding bad)  Jin asks him what’s at the Swan, and Jack tells him that he thinks he’s found a way to get Jin back together with Sun.  As they head towards the Swan, Sayid tells Jack that he can rig the bomb to detonate on impact, but they will need to get there at the precise time of the incident.  Hurley says they are about 5 minutes away and then slams on brakes as Sawyer, Kate, and Juliet are blocking the road.

Sawyer asks Jack for 5 minutes.  He says that Jack owes him that much.  They go into the jungle to hash shit out.  There, Sawyer tells Jack about his parents.  He says that if he wanted to, he could’ve left the island, gone back, and kept all of that from happening, but he didn’t because “what’s done is done”.  Jack finally admits that he wants to blow up the island, to start over, because he had a chance with Kate and he blew it.  He tells Sawyer about how Locke told him that they were not supposed to leave and that he believes it’s their destiny to be there.  Sawyer replies that he “doesn’t speak Destiny” and then proceeds to try and whip Jack’s ass.  Juliet conveniently breaks up the fight.  She tells Sawyer that Jack is right and when he asks her to be straight with him, she says that she loves him but that when she saw the way he looked at Kate, she knew they wouldn’t be together.  If what Jack is trying to do works, that will mean that she never met Sawyer (and essentially never lost him).

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***HI-YO!!!  Again, the Emmy for this episode goes to……Elizabeth Mitchell….yowsa.

Jack is seen overlooking the Swan site and Kate comes up on him.  She sees that his face is all messed up and mentions the time that she sewed him up on the beach.  He asks her why she didn’t want to talk about Aaron and she says that she came back so that she could help Aaron be with his mother.  Jack says then the only way to do that is for them to carry out the plan of dropping the bomb in the hole.  He asks if she’s with him and she replies, “yes”.

Hurley tells Sayid he’s gonna be ok.  Jack returns and Sayid tells him that he fixed the bomb to explode on impact but that it’s gotta be timed right.  Jack says that if it works, it will save Sayid, to which Sayid replies that nothing can save him.  Jack heads out after glancing at Kate.  As he passes Sawyer he says, “I’ll see you in Los Angeles”. 

 Radzinsky shows up at the Swan site bitching at Dr. Chang about stopping the drill.  Chang tells him that the bit will melt if they keep going.  He asks why “Stuart” (Radzinsky) needs to work on his experiment now.  SR replies that he’s been working on it for 6 years….”designing a station that will manipulate electromagnetism in ways we’ve only dreamed of”….to which Chang asks is he’s thought about the consequences of drilling into the pocket of energy.  He tells Chang that he came to the island to change the world and that’s exactly what he’s going to do.

Later, Phil calls Radzinsky on the radio as the electromagnetic power is getting worse at the Swan site.  Phil tells him that Sayid came back and that they took off with a bomb.  He didn’t know where they were going, but Radzinsky does.  He tells Phil to get over there, and that they are coming there and he will be ready for them.

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With everyone now on the same page (although it’s unclear what changed Kate’s mind), Jack enters the construction site of the Swan station at the same time security officer Phil arrives with a team of armed men. On the orders of Radzinsky, Dr. Pierre Chang continues drilling into the energy source beneath the construction site.   A massive gunfight ensues, wherein the survivors gain the upper hand, allowing Jack to drop the bomb into the pit at the same time the drill hits the energy source. The bomb, however, does not detonate, and suddenly all metal items are being pulled into the pit. A toolbox knocks Jack unconscious, a rebar stabs Phil in the chest, a beam traps Dr. Chang’s arm and a metal chain wraps around Juliet’s midsection and drags her into the pit. Miles manages to lift the beam and release Dr. Chang’s injured hand. Sawyer and Kate grab Juliet’s hand before she falls into the pit, but their efforts to save her are futile as she slips out of Sawyer’s grip and falls to the bottom of the pit. Severely injured, Juliet sees the bomb lying next to her, cushioned by the mud.

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She picks up a rock and hits the hydrogen bomb’s fission core eight times until a flash of white ends the episode.

***The Official Lost Podcast stated that the bomb did detonate.

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Quotes

still trying to prove me wrong aren’t you” – man in black to Jacob

“you are wrong” – Jacob

“am I?” – man in black

“they come, fight, they destroy, they corrupt….it always ends the same” – the man in black

“it only ends once….anything that happens before that, is just progress” – Jacob

“we’re gonna drink our OJ and take our chances in the real world” – Sawyer

“is there anything in there about how we’re supposed to move a 10 ton bomb across the island?” – Jack

“actually, it’s 20 tons” – Sayid

“if Edison was only worried about the consequences, we’d all be sitting in the dark” – Radzinsky

“and I’ve never seen anyone who doesn’t age” – Locke to Alpert

“if I were you, I wouldn’t give up on him” – Jack about Locke to Alpert

“oh, hell no” – Rose

“they found us” – Rose

“son of a bitch” – Bernard

“Jack’s got a bomb” – Kate

“who cares…..it’s always something with you people” - Rose

“i don’t speak destiny” – Sawyer to Jack

“in my experience, the people that go out of their way to tell you they are the good guys….are usually the bad guys” – Lapidus to Brahm

“do you expect me to believe that?” – Sun to Ben

“not really” – Ben to Sun

Questions and Tidbits

- what’s up with the food drops?

- what’s the “loophole”?

- was Jacob really the one that led all of the Losties to the island?  Has he been “pushing” them all along?

-  the four-toed statue is now confirmed to be “Taweret”, the Egyptian deity of protection in pregnancy and childbirth.  According to Wikipedia, her name means, “one who is great”.  She was the wife of Apep, the original God of Evil who resided below the horizon.  Since he was below the horizon, she became seen as the Northern Sky, a constellation covering the area of present-day Draco, which always lies above the horizon.  Thus she was also known as the “Mistress of the Horizon”.  In Egyptian depictions, she has been seen with  crocodile, hippo, and lion parts since these are all animals that they feared.  She was also frequently depicted carrying an ankh.

- Finally, I have to wonder what’s up with the numbers showing up in each flashback and Jacob actually touching each of the original Losties in their flashbacks.  Did he mark them from that point forward, so that he could track them somehow?  Did he basically give them some kind of gift (longer life, ability to cheat death, etc…) so that they would be able to eventually get to the island?  Is this maybe how he brings people to the island….kinda like what the MIB was saying at the beginning about the Black Rock?  Was he following them for their entire lives or just at these certain moments?  Kate, Sawyer, Jack, Sun, and Jin all pre-island.  Hurley after the original crash.  Ilana….well, not sure about Ilana.  Just a little food for thought.

Alright folks….that’s all I’ve got….LOOOONG, I know…..but hey, what a great season.  Please comment because I’m gonna keep the LOST Discussion page up until the end of next season…..whenever you get the urge, make sure to post your theories on the page.  It should make for some fun banter until next year. Otherwise, thanks so much for reading my long-winded recaps throughout the 5th season of Lost……and I look forward to 6th and final season of what I consider (pretty easily to be honest) the GREATEST TELEVISION SHOW OF ALL TIME!!!

I’ll talk at you all again later.

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“superfly, here I stand, secret “stache”…… I’m your Pusherman, I’m your Pusherman, I’m your Pusherman”

Today’s Topic:  Follow the Leader

Mood Music:  Cult of Personality by Living Colour

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Another week…..another outstanding episode…ok, ok…..I’ll admit, I wasn’t thrilled with “the Variable” last week…but let’s just say that this episode more than made up for it in my opinion…and to be honest…I’m so excited about the finale tonight that I can hardly bring myself to finish this recap.  Either way….here goes and I look forward to some discussion on this episode and a little speculation as to what you think’s going down tonight….so without furthur ado:  Season 5, Episode 15……Follow the Leader.

ON ISLAND

1977

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Jack and Kate discuss their options while hiding behind bushes at the Hostiles’ camp. Suddenly, a gunshot is heard, and they watch Daniel collapse to the ground. As they are about to run away, they are surrounded by two men riding horses. One of them knocks out Jack with his rifle’s butt and the other one aims at Kate.

***I really love the way they’ve taken scenes that we’ve already seen and show them from other POVs this season….it is really interesting to note that maybe this is done as a plot device, or maybe they are actually using it to stress the idea that there are more than one way things can play out and just because something looks a certain way from one POV, it can be interpreted in an entirely different way from another

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At the place Daniel was shot, Eloise skips through the pages of his journal. She reaches the first page, and is confused by the dedication in it, which she appears to recognize as her own handwriting. Charles Widmore and a man arrive, holding Jack and Kate captives. Richard explains the situation to Widmore. Eloise asks Jack and Kate if they’ve come with Daniel, to which Jack replies “Yes.” She orders that they be taken to her tent. Widmore inquires why the DHARMA Initiative would declare war on them, but Eloise tells him that the three intruders are not DHARMA people. After entering the tent, she assures Jack and Kate that she will believe whatever they say because she has just killed a man who claims to be her future son, the same man who told her to bury the bomb 23 years earlier before disappearing. Jack tells Ellie that by using the bomb, they can alter the future and undo what Ellie did to her future son.

***very interesting….is it just me or is anyone else sure that there’s no way you would recognize your own handwriting on a random journal?  I know that it’s not the first thing that would come to mind…put it that way….then again if the person you just shot claims to be your son…then that helps hasten things

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At the Barracks, Radzinsky takes Sawyer and Juliet to the security office where he interrogates a bound Sawyer about the location of Kate. Juliet, also bound, sits off to the side watching. Sawyer is brutally beaten by Radzinsky against Horace’s wishes. Radzinsky says that he is in charge now. Juliet begs them to stop, and tells them that they aren’t out to hurt them, they have known them for three years, and that they are good people. Sawyer tells her not to talk and that whatever she says they won’t believe. Radzinsky, Horace, and Phil draw the conclusion that Sawyer is not going to talk no matter how much they beat him, but Phil claims that he has a way to make Sawyer talk. He then hits Juliet across the face, angering Sawyer.

***God Phil’s a prick

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Meanwhile, Hurley, Miles and Jin escape the barracks, heading for the beach. Chang follows them and asks if they’re really from the future. Hurley denies it. To determine the truth, Chang quizzes Hurley with questions relevant to 1977. Hurley struggles with the answers, being unsure of his birth year, the current president of the U.S., or whether the Korean War had even occured. Flustered, Hurley finally admits that he’s from the future and Chang believes him. Chang then asks Miles if it is true that he is his father, and Miles reluctantly affirms that he is. Having confirmed his suspicions Chang reveals that he now believes what Daniel told him about needing to evacuate the entire Island.

At the Hostiles camp, Widmore and Richard are standing over Daniel’s body. Widmore asks Richard why Daniel looks so familiar to him. Before Richard can respond, Eloise emerges from the tent and orders Richard to untie Jack and Kate. Eloise gently covers Daniel’s body with a blanket and closes his eyes. She then announces to Widmore that she is taking Jack and Kate to the bomb. Widmore protests and they appear to argue. Jack asks Richard who that man is and Richard tells him it’s Charles Widmore. Richard implies that Eloise and Charles are romantically involved but that their relationship is complicated.

***looked like she had a hand on her stomach and Widmore was looking concerned (Daniel?)

Chang returns to the Barracks and sees Horace, Radzinsky and the other men interrogating Juliet and a bloody and bruised Sawyer. He tells Horace, Radzinsky and the others to stop the drilling at The Swan and orders them to evacuate the Island. Radzinsky angrily insists on continuing the drilling and when Chang appeals to Horace, Radzinsky claims that he is in charge now. Sawyer agrees with Chang and proposes a deal to Radzinsky: if he and Juliet can leave the Island on the submarine, he will tell Radzinsky everything he wants to know. As a result, he demands that Sawyer draws a map of the Hostiles’ location. Sawyer and Juliet are then taken away to the submarine.

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Eloise, Kate, Jack, Richard, and Erik come to the creek. As they stop to attempt to swim under the tunnels, Kate tells Jack she’s going back. Erik threatens to shoot Kate if she tries to leave. There is a gunshot and Kate is shocked. She looks down and sees that she’s not hit. Erik goes down and Sayid comes out of cover. He points his gun at Eloise and Richard as they put up their hands. Sayid is told about changing the future, and he is convinced he has already done so by killing Ben, but Kate informs him that Ben is alive. Kate is allowed to leave the group and heads for the submarine.

***gotta admit that when Sayid popped out of the jungle it was pretty damn badace!

At the Barracks a message is heard over the loudspeakers that the sub will leave in 30 minutes. At the dock, people board the sub while Miles, Hurley, and Jin watch. They see Charlotte and her mom get out of a bus and head for the dock. Lara and baby Miles get out. Lara is arguing with Pierre. Pierre angrily tells them to leave. Adult Miles realizes that his father had to be harsh to his mother in order to save her life. Miles sees Juliet and Sawyer, still handcuffed, and brought in a jeep. Miles confused, hands binoculars to Hurley, who tells Miles that Sawyer probably has a plan.

***it has to be a crazy realization for Miles to see that the whole reason he hated his father for all those years…and refused to search for him….was wrong….he was looking out for Miles and his Mom…..man.

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On the dock, Sawyer sarcastically quips that he’ll buy Microsoft and bet on the Cowboys in the 1978 Superbowl.

***finally somebody is making sense regarding time travel….make some damn money betting (Biff style)

He apologizes to Juliet and says that she was right three years ago, that they should have gotten on the submarine. Juliet tells Sawyer she was glad that she stayed behind. Once on the submarine, Juliet and Sawyer are handcuffed to a table in the ship’s gallery. Juliet asks Sawyer what they will do when they get to Ann Arbor. Sawyer replies that they aren’t going to Ann Arbor, and that they’ll be free in the “real world”. Juliet chuckles saying she doesn’t even know what that means anymore. They hold hands and say that they love each other. Just after this, Phil brings Kate to the submarine, where she is cuffed with Sawyer and Juliet. They give each other awkward looks as the submarine departs from the Island.

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Richard, Jack, Eloise and Sayid swim down to the underground tunnels beneath the Barracks where the bomb is hidden. As they walk through the tunnels, Sayid whispers to Jack, “I’m sure it’s occurred to you that this woman’s motivation in helping us detonate the hydrogen bomb is only to annihilate the Dharma Initiative.” Jack responds that her motivation can be trusted because Eloise will be the one to tell them how to get back to the island 30 years from now, but Sayid is not convinced. They come to a room and Eloise uncovers the bomb. She looks at the other two and says “Now what?” while everyone looks confused.

***seriously….as Allen mentioned in the LOST Discussion page…..it’s not like you can just tap the damn thing with a hammer…for more in-depth analysis of the detonation of a nuclear bomb…see my link on the LOST Discussion page….there’s a lot more to it than just dropping it from a plane…put it that way (my guess…they don’t detonate it……one other thing, and I’m nitpicking…if that thing had been leaking radiation for 30 years…..I’m pretty sure that those folks would be dead upon entering those tunnels.)

2007

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At the Others‘ camp, Richard is sitting at a table building a ship in a bottle on the beach, an Other named Vanessa informs Richard that “he’s here.” Locke arrives with a boar, followed by Ben and Sun. Richard questions that it’s been three years since he last saw him, and wonders where he’s been. Locke tells Richard that he has a new purpose, and needs Richard to come with him immediately. After Ben tells Sun that Richard has been around for “a very long time”, Sun interrupts Locke and Richard with the 1977 DHARMA Recruits picture, asking Richard if he recognizes the people in it. Richard replies he recognizes them because he “watched them all die”.

***speculation is that what he actually meant by this was that he saw them disappear (the island hopping shit)….I don’t think that’s what he meant at all but I’m sure we’ll find out tonight

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Later in a private conversation with Sun, Locke implies he believes their time-traveling friends are not dead. Locke asks Richard if he still has the compass he gave him in 1954, Richard says he does. Locke asks Ben to join him and Richard on the journey. Ben wonders if Locke doesn’t trust him around his former people, but Locke informs him that he isn’t afraid of anything he can do anymore. Locke tells Sun to stay behind, and that he will be back in a few hours, and that she has his word that he will find a way for her and Jin to be reunited. Locke, Richard, and Ben then leave with the compass on into the jungle.

During the trip Richard asks Locke where he has been the past three years, Locke is surprised he doesn’t know. Locke tells him that they are going to the Beechcraft (where Locke flashed to during the Island’s time movements), and after that they must find Jacob. When they have almost arrived, Locke tells Richard that he must treat a man’s wound at the Beechcraft, and then tell him to bring everyone back to the Island, and to do this he has to die. Locke then tells Ben that the man is Locke himself.

***this had to be one of the greatest scenes this season….it shows a lot about what’s going on…answers questions like:  can the Losties see themselves in the past/future/etc…?  yes.  is the compass the same one that’s been passed around? yes.  how could Richard know where Locke was for that brief period of time to just show up in the middle of the jungle?  Locke told him.  Pretty cool.

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While Richard tends to the time-traveling Locke, the other Locke tells Ben that he knows that Ben has never seen Jacob, which surprises Ben. Richard then tells Locke that he seems pretty convinced about what he made him do to his past-self, especially since he said to him that he was going to die, Locke tells Richard it was the right choice.

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The three then return to camp, where Locke makes a speech to all the Others present he is going to see Jacob, and he would like them all to come with him. The Others are excited by this, with the exception of Richard who admits his worry to Ben, that Locke may be a problem in the future. Ben responds by telling Richard that’s why he tried to kill him. Sun questions Locke and is assured by him Jacob can help them bring Jin and the rest of their people back to the present, and that Richard has agreed to show them where they need to go.

The next morning, Locke and the Others leave to find Jacob. Ben then tells Locke of Richard’s thoughts, that seeing Jacob makes him uncomfortable, but then reaffirms his allegiance to Locke’s quest: to reunite with his friends who are in 1977. Locke lets Ben in on a secret; he’s not interested in reuniting with his friends in 1977 and reveals his true intentions are, much to Ben’s shock, to kill Jacob.

***dun-dun-dunnnn.  Another topic that aroused speculation…the thought is that maybe Locke was being metaphorical…that he’s not actually planning on killing Jacob, but just proving that he doesn’t exist…essentially killing him in the eyes of the Others….I’m pretty sure he exists and I’m pretty sure Locke’s plan ain’t coming to fruition once Jacob has his way with him.  Not to mention, Ben’s in for a rude awakening I think.

Tidbits and Questions

- where are Rose and Bernard?  Seriously.  They better show up tonight or I’m gonna…

- what’s up with the food drops?

- do you think Locke’s really gonna kill Jacob? 

- do you think they will detonate the bomb?

- my guess is that the incident doesn’t refer to the Swan catastrophe at all…but something on a much, much grander scale…like the eradication of the Hostiles in 1977….I think maybe Dharma actually succeeds in finding the hostiles and a large gunfight ensues…possibly at the Swan site…something happens that causes it to become unstable, leaving only Radzinky there to man the button.  or probably something totally different is going to happen….either way, I’m betting Chang loses his arm and the guy in the video with him was Miles….and the baby was also Miles

That’s it for today….Can’t wait for tonight!!!

I’ll talk at you all again later.

4-12-09-041

“a leader speaks, that leader dies”

Today’s Topic:  The Variable

Mood Music:  Sabotage by the Beastie Boys

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What’s up folks?  Hope you all are having a great week.  This is being written a little later than normal, so hopefully you’ll keep checking this morning.  Pretty good episode…..let’s delve into it…..Season 5, Episode 14…..The Variable:

ON ISLAND

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Daniel arrives on the Island via the Galaga, and is greeted by Miles. Daniel tells Miles that he is back due to his discovery in Ann Arbor of a photo of the new recruits showing that Jack, Kate, and Hurley have returned to the Island. He demands to be taken to Jack’s house. Miles complies. Once at Jack’s house, Daniel frantically questions him on how he returned to the Island. Jack mentions a plane, and says that Daniel’s mother, Eloise Hawking, persuaded him to get on the plane. Daniel asks Jack if Eloise spoke about destiny, to which Jack says yes. Daniel tells Jack that his mother was wrong, and that Jack does not belong there; whether meaning on the Island at all, or in the DHARMA Initiative in 1977, is unclear.

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Miles agrees to Daniel’s request to drive him to the Orchid to run “an errand,” leaving behind an inquisitive Jack. Jack knocks on Sawyer’s door to inform him Daniel has returned and has headed to the Orchid. Sawyer responds that he is too busy to help, but is persuaded by Juliet to explain his predicament: Phil, tied up in the closet, is in possession of the surveillance tape incriminating Sawyer and Kate in their attempt to save Ben’s life by taking him to the Hostiles’ camp.

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Daniel and Miles end up at the Orchid station just in time to witness the arrival of Pierre Chang. Leaving Miles in the Jeep, Daniel follows Chang and Eric inside and overhears Chang’s discussion with Tony, the foreman, regarding the danger of drilling deeper into the rock (and potentially releasing dangerous energy). Daniel walks in (bumping into an impatient Chang, who is leaving) and has a brief exchange with Tony, who is highly skeptical of Chang’s theories about space and time. Daniel then approaches Chang, who remembers Daniel’s arrival to the Island with LaFleur. Daniel explains that it is necessary to begin evacuating the Island, as the magnetic energy unleashed by DHARMA construction work has caused injuries. When Chang responds skeptically and insists that the energy has been contained, they board the Orchid elevator to the surface and Daniel explains that in six hours, a catastrophic accident will occur at the Swan station. Chang demands to know why Daniel considers himself qualified to make such a prediction, and Daniel reveals that he has arrived “from the future.”

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Daniel follows Chang outside the Orchid, where Chang accuses him of “having a little fun” at his expense after overhearing his comments about time travel. Daniel produces notes from his journal as evidence he is speaking in good faith, but is interrupted by Miles. Daniel catches both off guard by revealing that Miles is Chang’s son; Miles denies this. Chang tells Daniel, “please stay away from me,” and departs in his DHARMA van. Miles then confronts Daniel about the reveal, who explains that he is only getting Chang to do what he is “supposed to do.”

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Jack, Kate, Sawyer, Juliet, Jin, and Hurley meet in Sawyer and Juliet’s home to discuss their options. According to Sawyer, they must either leave the Island by submarine before they are caught, or head into the jungle to “start from square one.” Jin refuses to leave as long as there is a possibility he might be reunited with Sun, and Hurley supports staying as well. Before they can continue their conversation, they are interrupted by the arrival of Miles and Daniel. Daniel asks where he can find the Hostiles and explains that his mother is among them, and furthermore, that she is their only hope of getting back to where they belong. It is not clear whether he means off the Island or back to the present (2008).

Sawyer refuses to assist Daniel, but Jack enlists Kate’s help in taking Daniel to the Hostiles’ camp. Juliet provides the code (141717) to the sonar fence and makes the case that they should help Daniel as “it is over for us here, anyway.” Sawyer argues that Jack is making a mistake and that he, Jin, Hurley, and Juliet will meet them at the beach when their plan inevitably fails.

On the way to the motor pool, Kate and Jack discuss how to obtain weapons, and Daniel tells them to go on without him and that he will catch up. Daniel then approaches a young Charlotte, who is playing on a swing set nearby. She tells Daniel that she isn’t allowed to eat chocolate before dinner, and introduces herself after Daniel assures her he won’t tell. He tearfully tells Charlotte that she and her mother must leave the Island with Dr. Chang; he explains that he tried to avoid telling her this because he did not believe he would be able to “change things”, but hopes that “maybe” he can.

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As Jack, Kate, and Daniel are arming themselves near the motor pool, they are interrupted by Radzinsky and two other DHARMA workers. When Radzinsky sees their weapons, he accuses Daniel of lying about the group’s intentions, and a firefight ensues when Daniel tries to make a getaway. Daniel is grazed in the neck by a bullet, and Radzinsky is shot in the arm. As Jack, Kate, and Daniel make their way to the Jeep, Jack opens fire on a fuel tank, causing a tremendous explosion. They escape as the dust settles, and Radzinsky calls for someone to “sound the alarm.”

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Upon arrival at the sonar fence, Jack treats Daniel’s neck wound as Kate enters the code provided by Juliet. Daniel reminds Jack that 1977 is now “their present,” and as such, they would do well to remember that they are still at risk of injury or death regardless of their presence in the future.

Meanwhile, Juliet and Sawyer are packing to leave for the beach when they are interrupted by the alarm. Radzinsky and his assistants burst into Sawyer’s house and inform Sawyer of the situation, but quickly discover the bound and gagged Phil. He forces Sawyer and Juliet to surrender at gunpoint.

When Jack, Daniel, and Kate stop at a creek to rest, Jack asks Daniel to explain his intentions. Daniel reveals his knowledge of the impending disaster caused by a massive energy release at the Swan station. He explains that as a result of this, the installation they know as “the hatch” will be built as a precautionary measure to contain this energy and prevent future incidents. Over the next 20 years, he explains, it will be necessary for DHARMA to keep this energy at bay by pressing a button; ultimately, Desmond’s failure to do so will cause the crash of Oceanic Flight 815. Daniel tells Jack and Kate that his studies of relativistic physics have revealed the relationship between the “constants” in this equation and the “variables.” The variables, he says, are people—specifically, their choices and free will may allow them to change their destiny. Daniel then reveals his intention to set things right by detonating a hydrogen bomb in an attempt to negate the catastrophic energy release, thereby preventing the events that led to Oceanic 815’s crash.

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Jack, Daniel, and Kate arrive undetected at the Hostile’s camp, where Daniel fires two warning shots into the ground and demands to speak with Ellie. Richard Alpert appears to recognize Daniel, but insists that Eloise is not there. Daniel asks Richard at gunpoint where the hydrogen bomb is buried, and as Richard attempts to talk him down, Daniel is shot from behind by Eloise Hawking. Bleeding out, Daniel tells Eloise incredulously, “You…knew this was going to happen, but you sent me here anyway.” When it is apparent that Eloise does not recognize Daniel, he reveals, in his dying breath, that he is her son.

FLASHBACK

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A young Daniel Faraday is playing “Scherzo No.2, Op.31″ by Chopin on a piano in his home. His mother, a middle-aged Eloise Hawking, suddenly appears in the doorway, watching him play. Daniel asks her opinion of the music, and she tells him that it is wonderful. However, she chides him for wasting his time on frivolities such as music. She claims that he has a scientific mind which he must dedicate entirely to science and mathematics. She claims that it is her job to keep him on the path, and that there is no time for distractions. Daniel claims that he can make time, but she disagrees, closing the piano.

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Several years later, Daniel is graduating from a doctoral program at Oxford. As he walks out of the college with Theresa Spencer, they are met by Eloise, who coldly responds to Theresa’s repeated attempts of bonding with her, and requests to have lunch alone with Daniel. Theresa complies despite Daniel’s protests, leaving Daniel and Eloise to go to a curry restaurant. Daniel is hurt by Eloise’s rudeness to Theresa, because she is his girlfriend. Eloise tells him that he has no time for women, and that he must focus entirely on his work. Daniel mentions that he is the youngest doctor to ever graduate from Oxford, and that he received a £1.5 million research grant from Charles Widmore. Eloise relents, apologizing to Daniel and telling him that she is not there to fight with him. She stands to leave, but not before giving him a wrapped gift. After she leaves, Daniel opens it; it is a leather journal.

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In 2004, Daniel is watching a news report regarding the wreckage of Oceanic Flight 815 being discovered by the Christiane I. He begins crying about it, and when asked why he is crying by his caretaker, he replies that he doesn’t know. Daniel then receives a visitor: Charles Widmore. The two discuss Widmore’s grant, the following research and Daniel’s dismissal from Oxford. Daniel shows remorse over Theresa, mentioning that he tested “it” on himself before her. Widmore notices Daniel crying and asks if he said something to upset him. Daniel replies it is because of the discovery of Flight 815’s wreckage and that he doesn’t know why its bothering him so much other than it’s a sad situation. Widmore replies that they aren’t dead, because he faked the wreckage. He feels secure in telling this to Daniel because, due to Daniel’s recently developed memory issues, Daniel will forget the entire meeting. Widmore offers Daniel a job working on the Kahana and going to the Island, which he claims will heal Daniel’s mental problems. When Daniel comments on how similar Widmore sounds to Eloise, Widmore remarks that he and Eloise are “old friends”.

A short time later, Daniel is playing the piano when he is visited by Eloise. She asks if Daniel has been offered a job, to which he affirmatively replies, but states that he is incapable of doing the job due to his memory loss. Eloise eventually persuades Daniel, however, by telling him that going to the Island will make her proud of him. He eventually agrees to do so.

LA 2008

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Desmond, after being shot by Ben, is rushed to the hospital to undergo surgery. A desperate Penny is left outside with her son Charlie. She is approached by Eloise Hawking, who comments that Charlie has his father’s hair. Eloise reveals that she knows Desmond, and that his injury is her son’s fault. Penny asks if Eloise’s son is Ben, but Eloise replies instead that it is Daniel. Eloise apologizes for her son’s actions. Penny asks Eloise if Desmond will be all right, but Eloise says she does not know. Eloise says that for the first time in a long time she does not know what will happen next. Soon afterward, a nurse approaches Penny and tells her that Desmond is in the recovery room; implying the surgery was successful. Penny leaves little Charlie with the nurse and rushes to meet Desmond, who reminds her of his promise that he would never leave her.

Eloise leaves. As she exits the hospital, she is approached by Charles Widmore, who asks about Desmond’s condition. She replies that Desmond is fine, and that his daughter is inside the hospital, suggesting that he goes and talk to her. Widmore remarks that he has sacrificed his relationship with Penny. Eloise replies angrily that Widmore knows nothing about sacrifice; she had to send her own son to the Island. Widmore retorts that Daniel is his son as well. Eloise slaps Widmore across the face and leaves.
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Tidbits and Questions

- what’s up with the food drops?

- where in the eff are Bernard and Rose….seriously?

- is Daniel really dead?  if so, what about the theory that he was the one behind the camera in the video from Comic-Con….that wouldn’t have happened yet

- do you think that they will actually change the future or do you think that their attempts at doing so are just what actually causes things to happen the way they did?

- the 100th episode was also Obama’s 100th day in office…hmmmm

- the time on Daniels’ watch when Eloise tells him he must go to the island was 3:32:12

- what do you think the numbers 141717 mean?  anything?  maybe the date of the black rock crash?  January 4th, 1717

- remember seeing a copied page of Dan’s journal in the first episode this season, when Caesar found the papers in the Hydra Station?  I wonder what happens to his journal now that he’s dead?  Do you think Eloise takes it and that’s how she learns about him?

Quotes

“your mother’s an other” – Sawyer to Dan

“welcome to the meeting Twitchy” – Sawyer to Dan

“he’s on a whole new level man” – Miles about Dan

“like, Fonzie times” – Hurley to Dan

“i can make time” – Dan

and lastly, for a little mind blowing thought provocation….

Faraday says that people are the variables….the things that change in the experiment so to speak….yet when his mother shoots him….he comments that she knew that it was going to happen all along, which would actually make “him” a constant……what does that all mean….and do you think that maybe Eloise has attempted to change her actions in prior incantations of the overall storyline….meaning….similar to Desmond trying to save Charlie…she had altered certain events to try and save Daniel but ultimately realized that no matter what she did….he was going to die?  that would explain her conversation with Desmond in the episode “Flashes Before Your Eyes” from Season 3….and her belief in course correction.  thing is…do you all believe that…or is something else going on?  Can the Losties change the course of the future or will attempting to do so only play right into what’s bound to happen?  Yowsa.

I’ll talk at you all again later.

4-12-09-041

“you shut me down with a push of your button?”

Today’s Topic:  All time mistaken song lyrics

Mood Music:  Sad But True by Metallica

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So there I was….16ish, blond hair, blue eyes, polo shirt, polo shorts (I’m guessin’ on those), some kind of Nike shoes I’m sure, braided belt………..

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Huh.

That’s right.  I remember it like it was yesterday (if yesterday was about 16 or so years ago….my God).  I rode over to Williams Brice stadium (that’s the football stadium in Columbia, SC and a place that I have denied myself entrance into for the last 10 years…but that’s for another time) in the front of a convertible Mustang (that’s right) driven by an old friend (we’ll call him Ryan) as another good friend (we’ll call him Ed) rode in the back getting pummeled by the ridiculous amount of wind that pummels folks who draw the unlucky position of riding in the back of a convertible on the interstate while travelling 70+ mph with the top down….of course.  Why not, right?

Anyway, there we were.  I (decked in my Polo/Nike combination of an ass kicking in the making ) awaited the entrance of Faith No More on stage.  You all remember Faith No More….

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the goldfish flopping video….the exploding piano….the….well, maybe you do, or not…either way, Epic is a classic from my/our youth and if you don’t remember that song, you should be ashamed of yourself….unless you’re a woman and you were probably listening to something like Ace of Base (hi-o-Margo) at that time.  Maybe even Roxette for the more sophisticated….”lay a whisper on my pillow…leave the winter on the ground”…you know…”I wake up lonely, there’s an air of silence….in the bedroom, and all around”…..that Roxette.  Okay, okay….”touch me now, I close my eyes, and dream away”…..that’s all I can take….I can’t quite bring myself to even type the chorus, but I’m sure all of you (not just the women, dudes) are humming it right now.  Feel free to type it in the comments below…the first to get it correct will get….well….can I borrow from Jeff Jensen and say nothing, but I’ll give ye a shout out….holla.

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So, all that to get to this…..there we were.  Amidst a sea of black clad, devil worshipping, liquor swigging, motorcycle riding, vomit spewing…..okay, that was just the guy behind us….but, still, we were not necessarily the common denominator if you know what I mean.  The 3 of us….no…..I sang along to Faith No More, despite the fact that they had no fans, a quarter of the sound quality, and were performing what seemed like 8 miles away.  As I clapped upon their denouement…..it wasn’t lost upon me (especially as a 16ish year old….and especially since the show had been cancelled once due to Axl’s sore throat) that I was about to witness 2 of the greatest rock bands to grace my generation…..Metallica and Guns N’ Roses……N’ that order.  

Old Slap Leather behind us continued pounding that bottle of straight Jack Daniels as we fidgeted with the ridiculously long extra lengths on the end of our braided belts….hoping that we would not actually make eye contact with him.  (I’m pretty sure the alcohol policies were pretty lax back then…that is…at least when it comes to those people getting paid $5.25/hr being expected to stop 250+ pound dudes carrying bottles of Jack Daniels openly….actually hoping to get stopped….let me just say that I’d be turning the other cheek if you know what I mean)

Either way, be it because of the ridiculously slack security or the gall of this idiot behind us…..once Metallica started, the drunken behemoth was getting pretty belligerent and I’m pretty sure that I was the only one noticing.  As I courageously glanced over my shoulder, I immediately realized the mistake that was looking into this beast’s eyes.  The steely resolve showing in that gaze depicted a man ready to see that braided belt and raise with a pair of shredded polo shorts.  (he stared straight at me with the look of a man that would rather devour his own child than hear someone sing the wrong lyrics to a Metallica song….especially at a Metallica concert)….so I was pretty much scared for my life….our lives….and then I heard it…….like a slow rising death chant…..those hollow, haunting lyrics….that still send chills down my spine to this day….just bellowing over the din of the bikers behind us……

“YOU KNOW IT’S SAD PATROL!!!!!”

Oh shit Ed.  Stop it.  Stop it right now.  It’s Sad But True….it’s Sad But True…..

But unfortunately, I was too late, and the chorus came around again like a crashing wave on a wiped out surfer….before there’s enough time for air…

“SAD PATROL”

We are dead.  I thought, and gave one last glance towards the bringer of said circumstance.  Ed couldn’t be happier.  Just singing the wrong effing lyrics as the purple vein in ye ole’ biker’s head was approaching explosive proportions.  So I prepared for the worst…..Ed continued singing the worst misinterpretation of song lyrics that I’ve ever heard, and just as I thought the man was gonna bring the hammer down…..on top of Ed’s screaming countenance……the son of a bitch just heaved like a lurching drunkard that’s just realized he’s got alcohol poisoning.  He puked all over the ground right behind us….missing me, but possibly spraying Ed a little. ( not an undeserved fate for singing the lyrics to Sad But True by Metallica as Sad Patrol in front of a guy that probably sold his own airbrushed versions of the Kill Em’ All T-shirts in high school)

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OK, It was actually the one below….but man, how creepy is it that they actually sell T-shirts like the one above…..Yowsa!!!

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Let’s just say we survived….but as fate would have it…..only after we had to wait for hundreds of other cars parked in the fair grounds to leave as we had forgotten the location of the Mustang.  Thanks Ed….freaking Karma.

Top 5 Misinterpreted Song lyrics of all time:

5)  Blinded by the Light by Manfred Mann

Misinterpretation:

“Blinded by the light, wrapped up like a douche, another boner in the night”

Actual Lyric:

“Blinded by the light, revved up like a deuce, another runner in the night”

4) Purple Haze by Jimi Hendrix

Misinterpretation:

“Scuse’ Me while I kiss this guy….”

Actual Lyric:

“Scuse’ Me while I kiss the sky….”

3) Jet Airliner by the Stever Miller Band

Misinterpretation:

“Bingo Jed Had a Light on”

Actual Lyric:

“Big Ole’ Jet Airliner”

2) Bad Moon Rising by Creedence Clearwater Revival

Misinterpretation:

“there’s a Bathroom on the right”

Actual Lyric:

“there’s a Bad Moon on the Rise”

1) Sad But True by Metallica

Misinterpretation (only by Ed Murphy so far):

“you know it’s Sad Patrol”

Actual Lyric:

“you know it’s Sad But True”

That’s all for today folks.  Feel free to submit your list or favorite misinterpreted songs of all-time…..I’m quite certain I’ve left some out.

I’ll talk at you all again later.

2-1-09-044

“hey, I’m your life, I’m the one who took you there”

Today’s Topic:  The Pink Dipper

Mood Music:  Ice Cream Man by Van Halen

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Anyone know what the Pink Dipper is?  Maybe I should say was.  Any of you from Aiken, SC (well, lets say anyone that was around Aiken in the 80’s) should know.  Small window of time, I know.  Too small to forge a lasting memory of monumental proportions?  Absolutely not.  You know what’s funny?  I think I probably went to the Pink Dipper….4…maybe 5 times when I was little…..and to think….I still remember the place like it was yesterday (if yesterday happened to be 25 or so years ago…YOWSA!!!)

For those that don’t give a shit (and by that I mean…your answer to the first sentence and every one since has been no), the Pink Dipper was a place that served ice cream, it existed in a part of Aiken that is now overrun by….well to be honest….I believe that it was near what’s now the Aiken Mall (if that’s still around)…I have to say…it’s been awhile since I’ve been to that part of town.  At the time (remember how far it seemed to ride in a car just a few blocks when you were young), the Pink Dipper was the equivalent of driving to California…holy shit was it worth the wait (probably a 15 minute drive give or take 5 minutes…ok…give)  It was a small retail building, it stood alone as a shining beacon of hope to young children that craved ice cream and …….stuffed animals?  Yep.  That’s right.  Stuffed animals.  I specifically remember a massive (and by massive I mean probably 3 feet or so…we were little) Pink Panther that I’m assuming was kinda like the Pink Dippers’ mascot of choice (talk about originality….by the way, am I the only one that was confused as a child as to who the Pink Panther actually represented?  I mean…throw in the Pink Dipper, then you’ve got the actual Pink Panther cartoons that came on TBS right before the original live action Spider Man…anyone else remember that one….

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oh God, how awful….anyway, there was also the original Pink Panther movies starring Peter Sellers, that if caught at the right moment, screened the cartoon character briefly, and let’s not forget Owens Corning….or the “pink insulation”)  Shit….no wonder I couldn’t figure out where in the hell that damn panther came from.  He was everywhere growing up.  You know what accompanied him every time too….and I don’t care if it was seeing him on TV, in a magazine ad, or blessing the 40 foot long table that graced the Pink Dipper’s party room:

Duh-Duh-Duh-Duh………Duh-Duh-Duh-Duh

There’s not a single person alive that doesn’t hum or at least think of that melody when they see the Pink Panther.  It’s impossible.  Try it and you’ll see.  (I’m also willing to go out on a limb and say that anyone…and that should be all of you…that has ever sat down at a piano has tried to play that tune)

Where was I?

Oh…..the Pink Dipper.

Like a child’s idea of heaven (and really a savvy business person’s idea of heaven too….I mean think about it….the overhead had to be ridiculously low….rent the building…which was 10 miles past anything resembling society…so I’m guessing  that was cheap….buy 50 or so stuffed animals of varying sizes, colors, animal types….1 extremely long table…..and serve ice cream……and then watch children show up in droves.) Unbelievable.

Our fleeting glimpse of heaven was just that.  Just a one story brick building that housed oversized panthers and bubble gum ice cream (you know, the kind with the pieces of round gum actually in it…that in all honesty should have never been served to kids that were just getting teeth.  The frozen gumballs in that shit would crack an elephant’s tusk).  In fact, I couldn’t tell you what it looked like inside anymore really.  It’s as if it almost never existed……but just when I think I might have dreamed the whole thing up……

Duh-Duh-Duh-Duh

I realize that the picture in my head of a large pink ice cream scooper signifying the entrance to one of the great haunts of my childhood is just too vivid to be imagined….and I can still see that silly ass Pink Panther smiling. 

I’ll talk at you all again later.

2-1-09-042

“i’m your ice cream man, stop me when I’m passin’ by”

Today’s Topic:  Some Like It Hoth

Mood Music:  Changes by David Bowie

Folks….sorry about the nonexistent Lost blog last week.  Hopefully, everyone enjoyed “Dead is Dead”, which was the Ben centric episode a few weeks back.  this week we had an amazing Miles centric episode that gave quite a few answers while continuing to string us along…..unfortunately, due to time contstraints, most of my synopsis is pulled directly from lostpedia…so enjoy….

but before I get into Lost, for those of you that don’t know Paul E. (a frequent WOW contributor) or haven’t read it yet…….I highly recommend checking out the below link for an unbelievably entertaining and well-written article chronicling Sunday at the Masters, from an “insider’s” perspective:

http://www.fans25.com/post.cfm?ArticleID=148

Nice work Paul.

And now…..Season 5, Episode 13….”Some Like it Hoth”:

On the Island

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Kate and Sawyer return from dropping off young Ben to Richard, and Sawyer contacts Miles at the Security office to erase the surveillance tape. Kate is worried that Sawyer could get in trouble, but he’s confident he can smooth things over. Miles pops out the tape, but before he can erase it, Horace arrives with a package, asking after LaFleur. Miles tells him that he’s tried to contact LaFleur on the radio, but he’s out of contact. Horace gives Miles a package to bring to Radzinsky, and to get a package in return, “no questions asked”. Horace tells Miles that he’s letting him in the circle of trust.

Miles drives to the location Horace specified, and delivers the package, which turns out to be a body bag. Radzinsky puts a body in it, and tells him to transport it back to Horace. Miles, curious as to why a person who apparently fell in a ditch had a head wound, unzips the body bag and uses his ability to find out what really happened. He learns that the dead man, Alvarez, had a filling which ripped from his mouth and exited through his brain.

***Damn that shit that’s surrounding the Swan hatch must be some powerful electromagnetism….well I guess we knew that considering it was strong enough to pull down a plane….but then how, if that’s why the original flight was pulled down….did the Ajira flight crash on the island?  Makes me wonder what in the world the whole “try and recreate the original flight” has to do with anything.  I mean, I could go on for hours, but if the Swan hatch had something to do with the original crash (played some part, mind you) wouldn’t the destruction of that hatch play an integral part in future island voyages?  I mean, if all the research that the “Lamppost” station did somewhat took into account the electromagnetic power surrounding the Swan, wouldn’t all their calculations be skewed once the Swan imploded?  Just a thought…oh yeah….one more that’s closer to the point….where does all that electromagnetic energy come from?

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Roger discovers that Ben is missing from the hospital. Juliet lies about not knowing the reason for his disappearance. Kate later attempts to comfort Roger, who becomes irrationally angry and suspicious. Roger has some beer, and goes to the classroom, discovering that Jack is covering his work for him, assuming Roger would want the time off because Ben was injured. Roger brushes off Jack’s help, confronting him about his suspicions about Kate, saying he’s going to report it to Horace. Jack attempts to dispel his paranoia, but Roger seems unconvinced as he stalks away. Jack then goes to Juliet and Sawyer’s house to inform them of Roger’s behavior. Sawyer arrives home, tired from trekking around the jungle, and is confronted by Phil, who has the tape that Miles failed to erase. Sawyer punches Phil, knocking him out, and tells Juliet to get some rope.

 ***Phil had it coming, yeah?

Horace, after a consultation with Dr. Pierre Chang, tells Miles to bring the body to the Orchid so it can be determined if the accident was caused by electromagnetism. Miles walks back to his van to complete the assignment, but finds Hurley loading coolers of food for the Orchid construction team into the vehicle. After he insists they carpool, they set off, only to have Hurley notice an unpleasant odor. Concerned his food was contaminated, Hurley discovers the body. Confronted, Miles tells him what really happened to the body. To his bewilderment, Hurley completely accepts Miles’ story, noting he also talks with the dead, and sometimes plays chess with them. Miles says that isn’t how it works, at which point Hurley responds that Miles admitted to his ability. Miles explains that he is able to get a “feeling” about who the deceased was and whatever they knew before they died.

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At the Orchid, Dr. Chang isn’t happy that Miles brought Hurley along, and less happy that Hurley knew about the body. He threatens Hurley with the task of weighing polar bear dung on Hydra Island if he talks, but Hurley is happy working in the kitchens and agrees to keep the secret. While privately talking to Hurley about the attitude of Dr. Chang, Miles confesses to Hurley that Chang is his father. Dr. Chang wants to hitch a ride back to Radzinsky, and Miles and Hurley take him there, where a fake jungle wall masks the construction of the Swan station. Along the way, Hurley keeps dropping hints about the relationship between Miles and Pierre, which upsets Miles.

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On the way back, Miles and Hurley get into another disagreement. Miles steals Hurley’s notebook, in which he has written the script for The Empire Strikes Back with a few changes. Hurley notes that it’s 1977, and Star Wars was just released. He figured he was doing George Lucas a favor by writing the sequel. Hurley also tells Miles about his own troubled relationship with his father, and how he forgave him. He suggests Miles try to gain a relationship with his own father.  

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At night, Miles sees his mother, father, and his three-month-old self in a window, with his father lovingly reading him a story in an armchair. After Dr. Chang gets a phone call and gets up from the chair, Miles attempts to walk away. Dr. Chang comes out and asks Miles to take him to the dock to get a new group of scientists, and an emotional Miles agrees.  Miles goes to the dock where the submarine has arrived with a team of scientists from Ann Arbor, and Miles is surprised to find out that Daniel Faraday is one of them.

 

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FLASHBACK

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A woman, Lara, is looking at an apartment with the landlord. She tells the landlord that her husband is “out of the picture,” though she has a little boy, Miles. The landlord at first objects to Miles because the neighbors dislike noise, but Lara assures him that Miles is quiet. She gives Miles a quarter for the vending machine. Miles reaches the vending machine, and appears to hear something, causing him to walk toward apartment 4. Taking a hidden key from underneath a stone rabbit (which has the number 8 on its ear), he opens the door and looks inside. Several apartments down, Lara is writing a check (dated 3/16/1985) when she hears her son calling for her. She follows his voice to apartment 4, and finds him inside, standing near a man’s corpse. Miles claims to hear the corpse talking, saying he is calling for “Kimberly”. Trevor recognizes the name as that of Mr. Vonner’s wife, who is deceased. Lara backs away, concern and astonishment warring on her face. Miles cries out that he told her that he could hear “them” talking.

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Years later, a heavily pierced Miles visits his mother, who is staying in an apartment with a caregiver. His mother is extremely sick, bedridden and is losing her hair. While his mother is happy to see him, she asks why he has come to visit her. Miles replies that he wants answers, mostly about his father. She replies that his father kicked them out when Miles was just a baby, and forced them to leave. She tells Miles that his father has been dead for a very long time and his corpse is buried in a place he can never go.

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Some time later, an adult Miles speaks with Howard Gray, who wants Miles to use his powers to contact his son, who died in a car accident, and make sure that the son knew that Gray loved him. Miles is apprehensive when he discovers that the son has been cremated, and asks for a larger sum of money, which Gray readily gives. Miles then appears to contact the spirit of the son, and assures Gray that the son was aware of his love. Gray thanks Miles, and Miles leaves. After leaving, Miles is approached by Naomi Dorrit, who invites Miles to come with her to a restaurant to hear a business offer. After being offered a large sum of money, Miles readily agrees.

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Naomi takes Miles to the kitchen of a restaurant, and shows him the body of Felix, telling Miles to use his ability to determine details about Felix. Miles is able to tell the man’s name, as well as the fact that he was attempting to deliver cemetery photos of empty graves and a purchase order for an old airplane to Charles Widmore, both of which involved the fake wreckage of Flight 815. Miles leaves, at first not interested and scared. Naomi offers Miles $1.6 million to come to the Island on the Kahana, to which Miles agrees instantly.

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Soon afterward, Miles orders a fish taco from a taco stand. As he walks down the street, eating it, a van pulls up. Bram is in the passenger side, and he greets Miles. When Miles asks who Bram is, he is suddenly grabbed by several masked men and forced into the van. Bram attempts to persuade Miles not to go to the Island, determining he is not ready by asking Miles “what lies in the shadow of the statue?” to which Miles does not know the answer. Bram offers Miles answers about his ability and his father, but Miles doesn’t care; he instead wants $3.2 million dollars, twice the amount offered to him by Naomi. Bram refuses to pay, and dumps Miles out of the van. Bram tells Miles he is “playing for the wrong team.” When asked by Miles what team Bram is on, he replies that he’s on “the team that’s going to win.”

Later, Miles visits Howard Gray, and returns to him the money which he had been paid. When asked why he is doing so, Miles reveals that he lied to Gray; he had been unable to make contact with Gray’s son. The incredulous Gray asks why Miles couldn’t have just continued the lie, and Miles responds that it wouldn’t have been fair to the son, to whom the father should have professed his love before the son’s death. Miles then leaves.

Tidbits and Questions

 - What’s up with the food drops?

- Where are Rose and Bernard?

Quotes

 ”and Allen’s still on Hoth…..”

That’s it for today folks. 

I’ll talk at you all again later.

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“Ch-ch-changes….don’t tell them to grow up and out of it”